My Wit's End

Another day doing not much of anything, I spent the majority of my time with Marisa or Spike, it was fun. I never have a bad time with Marisa around, when I was heartbroken over Rei I went to her and just laid on her bed while she went about doing things. I was in shambles but I knew what to do to get better.

I think we all need a friend like that, someone that we can go to when things get hard and there’s just nothing left. When our heart is at it’s wit’s end and there seems to be no hope. I hate writing about the bad times. But they come with the good, as a matter of a fact when I think back I wish I could have been there with Marisa when she found out that her boyfriend cheated on her, just to console her, maybe I could have helped in some way.

Spike thinks its better to just let them cry, but I can’t let them cry. I don’t know how I’m going to handle that one aspect of parenting. I mean when my daughter cries my wife will almost have to come handle it, when girls cry I just feel so inadequate, I feel like I can’t do anything, but I want to do everything I can to make them feel better.

How do you get over something like that? Do you face it or do you try to tough it through? I really fall apart in those situations, do that make me some kind of wuss? Some guys can break a girl’s heart, not even trying to be mean, but just because they realize things aren’t working out for them, and when she’s crying they can just walk off like nothing happened.

I think more than anything I would be upset if I actually made a girl cry. I mean to think that I made a girl shed a tear just hurts me and I’m glad I can pretty much say that I haven’t done it in any serious way.

Well enough of that sob story, I went over to Marisa’s today, like I was talking about and her roommates computer was once again broken. Well I just felt a need to fix it, those girls need a computer. But more so for Marisa’s sake. I don’t know what it is about her lately, but I’m thinking nothing good can come from this.

Anyway, I started fixing the thing, Ad Aware did nothing, and I mean nothing. So I decided that I would run it in Safe Mode, you know that thing Windows runs in when it gets completely fucked. I get it in Safe mode, spy ware check, about 500 show up, nothing too bad really.

But then I decided that I needed to do a virus scan, so I erased their old copy of Norton and used AOL to download McAfee. It worked and I ran it, it was steady going to town while I went, and helped Marisa sign up for AIM and get Gaim her up with her first messenger.

Well while she was talking to friends and the like, and the virus scan finished. In a stunning show of incredibly im-fucking-possibly frightening turns of events I find out that the reason the computer is so slow is that there are TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY-ONE viruses on it. I erased them all and it runs like new, well as new as a 128 MB of RAM machine can. I fell asleep to the sound of Marisa wrapping lightly on the keys and I woke up on her bed a few minutes later when she had moved around the room to bother something on the other side. I don’t know what do with myself these days, I think—well I think I’m at my wits end.