A Need to Post Basis

I've deciced that I need to try and post in this more often, at least once a day...I know since I last posted in this nothing has really happened, because most of the time between then and now I was sleeping. I mean sure Shana did come over here, and I did do a hell of alot of drawing. But thats about the extent of it all.

So from now on, I'll try to post here.

Maybe But Maybe...

It's come to my attettion that I may not have had what I wanted, but sometimes it might have been just what I needed at that time. Today I heard the words I needed to hear from Alli, enough to make me smile. And I think I have the strenght to take Chanele's advice, I don't have to think ahead to the future, I can live for now because when you think about it, all we really have is now, the present what's going on right here at the moment.

I feel alot better about whats going on, but I still know that I have to strive to be better. Well I better hit the sack, I've been up so long. Besides I've got these evil hand issues, its crazy, anything could happen.

Serenity Now

Things are going at a steady pace once again, let me tell anyone who's not already in college that things go very quickly. It seems like I just got here a day ago. But I'm enjoying it so much and I'm making decent grades here too. I'm kind of scared, I have an essay to work on tonight and some other stuff to get done for Polotics class but its not too much for me to handle.

I'm trying to make some personal relations while i'm here too, I guess I just like to surround myself with people and it seems that there's more people here who are like me, than there are who are not like me. I really like being around people who think at least somewhat like I do. I love to hear someone say, "Oh yeah me too!" and not just look at me with this confused face.

I'm looking forward to next semester when I might have car and all of the party people might be weeded out and us serious ones are left. And I'm looking forward to getting to know the people I've met here better.

I need to call my dad and ask him when the car will be here so we can plan this trip to Dallas if we want to, it'll be cool to take a ride like that again, to be in a car long term, just me and the road, and a friend, the important part being the friend.

Well I guess I can honestly say things are better, better than they were. I'm enjoying this place.

Second Best

I'm starting to feel like things really aren't designed to work out for the best, things just seem to roll on without much reguard for the what the best truly is and it really makes me feel helpless to do anything about it, and I know I am. I feel really bad, I have since last night and I guess you can say that I just feel like I've never really gotten what I want out of life. I know that sounds kind of selfish--like I just want what I want, but its not that. I think I'd just like to have one thing that I really feel like I want, I don't neccessarily mean material possessions, I could care less about fancy cars and things because those don't last and they aren't improtant things to me.

What I mean is that whenever I work my hardest for what I want, whether it be something like a title, or a friend or a girl, it always seems to either backfire or just end up not working out the way that it should. And I know that I'm not the one who should decide the way it all works out, but I'd just like something to work out the way I want once. Things don't always work out how a person wants and I know that, I understand that are billions of people in the world and if it worked out in favor of them all then we'd get no where because some people want to just lay about and do nothing, some people want to control everyone around them and some people simply want us all dead.

If they all got their way then, well there would be no order at all. The world needs order, but some of the things I want wouldn't cause a horrible disturbance in the way of the world. I'd like to once post a story on the net that gets read, I'd like to have the motivation to do things like learn guitar or something like that, I'd like to feel something for a girl and have her feel it back, I'd like to not be criticized by most of the people around me for the way I see things, especially when its something that's just not really any of their business, I'd like to have my parents (both of them) trust me.

It occured to me last night that I always end up feeling like second best, and thats about as high as I get in the race. I know that most of the time you can't see things as a comeptition, but I do--all I can do is see it like that. I guess its just how I look at the world and even if the current problem is resolved I'll still feel like this because well, this will still be true. No matter what the outcome is now it can't change the past, but I can't seem to feel sorry about the past and I hate that feeling.

Its good to say that I didn't get what I wanted done this weekend, I didn't write the forty pages I wanted, I didn't get to finsih watching Season One of Angel and I basically did nothing else all weekend with the exception of Friday night. I feel like I waste so much of my time on just sitting around thinking about things I can't help, and I know I can't help them, but that doesn't stop the worry and the hurt and stuff that comes with some of it.

I think the only thing that really keeps me going is having so many friends that are just willing to listen to what I have to say and not be judgemental. If there's anything in my life I can claim that goes right its my friends being there for me--well most of them being there for me. A few seem to care less what happens to me, but there's always some that are willing to help and if you're reading this I'm really thankful for you. I guess I should get on to something else before I bring myself down more.

The more and more I watch TV the more and more I start to think it is a dying art, shows that are innovative or new seem to be totally lacking and the shows that are smart and funny, or clever and witty get yanked from the air because the general public is too dim to understand them. Like right now, I'm sitting here typing this and the tv is playing in the other room. Someone left it running and Days of Our Lives is on, from what I can here one of the characters lured some people to a desert island where he as constructed a replica of some city and placed A FORCE FEILD around it. Now what's wrong with that sentence...lets see I think the answer is jumping out at you in huge fucking letters! I mean this show is not Star Trek, it takes place in the present and when you ask people to take that kind of suspension of belief on something its a huge leap of faith. Even the part about the desert island.

I mean when you make a good show like X-Files or something like that where there's aliens in it people have a hard time just believeing that there are other beings in the universe, but they can watch a soap opera where some guy builds a force field on a desert island that has enough energy to cover a replica of and entire city? I mean there's so much wrong with that to a smart person, to any smart person. You have to think where did he get all this energy to power the field, where did he get the developemental money, the reserch teams, the builders of the town....etc...

It's such a stuid ploy but still millions sit there watching this shit and call it quality. And don't even get me started on Reality TV, this Real World bullshit like Big Brother is really pissing me off. I miss tv with actors in it. And I miss chanels showing what they say they're going to, like MTV having music on, or at least a show slightly music related. Not dumb ass pranks and stunts and stuff like that. I can't see how the television industry sleeps at night with the way its made stupidity the norm and not thinking for a half hour the bare minimum.

Well I have to go, I have other things to do. I might update this later.

It's Like The Wildest Ride Ever...

Well this last week has been an interesting little bit of time indeed, its been scary, fun, crazy, and a little bit odd. Classes are flying by like I thought, the semester goes faster than they did in high school and I have so much freetime that I don't know what to do with it. Yes I am studying, more than I ever did in HS. I think thats a good thing, I mean I know I didn't do things right back then, and I really want to stay here because I love this place and I feel like I'm learning so much from the people here.

I talked to my friend Alaina last ngiht, she and I haven't spoken since the middle of the summer and it felt good to hear from her because she's all the way in Dallas at this Catholic University there. She says she really loves it and she loves the challenge. She was always such a smart girl and she was never the kind to brag about her ability or anything like that. She said that she feels like its a real challenge but she has some free time too. The classes are real small there.

Here their big but I like it, I don't like being noticed all of the time, its more like the real world where you'll be just another face in the crowd, I know that sounds so stupid and stuff, but that's how things work out in the world. But hey, what do I know.

Well let me try to remember what was said when I last wrote in this thing...or through the magic of the internet *ding* we can just take a trip back in time to Tuesday September 21st....its been one hell of a long week, that was about the point things were still bland. After class was over I headed home, got a call from Allison and she told me she had died her hair black, well she looked incredible as always and we were still able to go shopping. Because of my stupid credit card all of the beautiful food items I picked up were rendered--well they were left at the store because of lack of funds or something stupid, I think the card was just messed up because it worked later.

Anyway we came back to her place, hung out for a while, her roommate wasn't there yet so we just watched Labyrinth, which is a really good movie, I kind of miss puppets in movies, its like a dead art only reserved for children's shows now. Its kind of a shame that CG took over, because its not always the best idea to have the actors in a bunch of places that don’t exist anywhere and to come to find out that there’s not one real set out of the movie.

I really enjoyed the movie and all and I had a lot of fun and after it was over, we talked some, her roommate came back and Allison had to hop in the shower and after she got out they had somewhere to go. Well Wednesday was strange, I don’t know why it just was, something really sad happened that I don’t want to discuss here so I went to class the next day, just one of them, feeling really sad.

Thursday I was a little bit better, but nothing much really happened there, same with last night until like 11 when I went to Allison’s and hung out with her and her roommate. I actually got to drive again and well, me driving is always cool. I hardly ever get to do it so I appreciated it all the more when I can drive. I love to drive and I drove Allison’s Focus, which wasn’t bad. We would have taken Jennifer’s car but its standard and I have no idea how to drive that.

To make an overly long story short, I had fun, we were out till like 3, it was 4 when I got back to my dorm and umm, I’m still a little tired. I borrowed Angel Season One from her last night and I came home and watched like the first disk of it, I missed a lot of Angel eps and it makes me wish I had seen them first run.

I did see all of the ones I watched last night before, except the one where Spike comes to LA, its called “In The Dark” I think. I’ll watch some more tonight, that should be cool. Well I better get back to what I was doing, I really can’t think of much else to say right now.

The Queen Is Dead!!!

Well I had to reformat the computer the other day, so I say the Queen is dead meaning that the computer that had the throne for more than a year now has been changed to the current one. I didn’t lose much of anything, so its all good. No hard feelings, right. I did lose some pictures in a folder I had called desk, but there’s no use whining about that now.

Well in the last few days I haven’t been doing much, a lot of hanging out with Allison, a little bit of comic drawing and a lot of writing. My writing has gotten to the point where I should have been months ago, I’m writing the first major turning point in the story line, the death of Voltaire.

I’m actually happy to see it happen now, the whole thing has been taking me so long that I just want to move on and it’s a welcome transition into the next set of stories. Like I’ve said before, I have this all planned out!

But not to get off on that subject too much, I’ve been away for what, four days? Well today is the 21, that means Mean Girls is out on DVD. Man I know this sounds totally homo on my part, but I loved that movie. If you saw it you’d have to admit that it had some damn good writing, I hope to see more stuff like that from Tina Faye in the future, Saturday Night Live taught that girl well.

Even more important that than that though, it Alli comes over tonight and we’re going to watch Clerks. I love that movie and I know she does, as a matter of a fact it was her birthday gift. After the movie and Smallville I’m going to tell her how I feel and ask her out. This is making me so nervous but it has to be done because, well I’ve waited in the past and its turned out bad for me before. And I’ve lost girls I really liked to other guys and stuff like that.

I’m just hoping that all of this goes well, I don’t want to lose a friend over any of this. I don’t expect it to come to that, Allison isn’t like most of the other girls I’ve liked. She seems a little more sensible about guys because she hangs around mostly guys. I don’t know how to say it without things coming out all jumbled up.

Before she gets here I’m going to have to clean this fucking place up, it looks like someone exploded in the middle room. The hole punch dots are all over my floor, there’s hair from one of my roommates on the carpet and that’s not the worst of it all. I’ll run the vacuum before she gets here just to make sure that I get everything up.

Yesterday I borrowed a mop from Allison’s roommate Jennifer, and I was able to mop the floor for the first time. It feels good to be able to see the original color of the floor again, it used to be this color that was like beige or something. (Don’t ask me to describe the color, I’m a guy and guys suck at color—guys made up the race system and yet none of the people are the actual colors we say they are!)

I’m going to clean the shower out too when I’m done taking one, its pretty sad that I have to do all of this alone. But Allison says that she likes it over at our place, I don’t know why, you could get plague just being here. But since she likes it here, we’re watching the movie here. If I can I’m going to try for in my room, I might even close the door to keep people from peeking in here on us.

I want to be able to talk to her after the movie and if Jennifer had come then I would be comfortable enough, but with all those other fuckers gathered around it would be odd. To tell the truth I could care less about seeing Clerks tonight, hell I’ve seen that movie 100 times and yes I love it, but seeing her suits me better I think.

So tonight, its shoping, movie and Smallville all with Alli, I hope it goes well—wish me luck people!

On to the next thing, it would appear that college is harder than high school but not nearly impossible, I got a 90 on my first paper, and 82 on my Antro test, and a 75 on my History Test. I feel proud and now I know I have to study with Allison more often, helps me pay attention.

History was the hardest of the group because, I will always and always have hated that subject. I know the old sayings about “doomed to repeat it” and all that bullshit, but it really bores the hell out of me!
Okay, know what dudes, I’m just going to chalk this up to a double entry day, I’ll be back tonight or early tomorrow with the ‘scoop’ on the rest of this shit, hell I still have one test to get back. See ya!

Up All Night

Well I can't say much, considering I posted a few hours ago, this is just another measure to keep me awake. I'm trying to go all night, just like old times, I have to at least make it until 9:00 PM and that's not going to be an easy job. I can feel that things I see around me aren't percieved just like they should, and I expect until I get some food in me I'll be like this. Its a little over an hour until I can walk to the University Center and get some food, so I have to make it until then. My first class is at three, if I wanted to abort this little experiment I could and still get there on time, but thats the cowards way out, I'm going to see this trhough.

Right now I'm running off tea and the heat in my room, heat keeps me awake so I have a space heater right next to me here. I think that I'll be able to pull this off. Its funny how something like this can stem off me not being able to sleep in the first place. I really haven't begun to feel tired ye. Am I magic or something? Who knows. But I know that I have to make it to Antropology today, Allison is there and I want to see her before she leaves tonight.

In other news I drew a three panel comic last night about college life, its supposed to be submitted to the newspaper at the college, I don't know where the newspaper is made and I've never read one. I'm not really the reading type, I don't say that to sound ignorant or anything, but reading current events never interested me.

I did this comic while I was just deciding that I should stay up and I'd have to say that its pretty good work. Just before I began on it one of my roommates, Ben walked out of his room, this was at about 3:00 AM, he told me he was driving to San Marcos, like thirty miles up the road and he was going to go home for the weekend, which is pretty far. That surprised me a bit, but I guess that's what he wants to do.

I want to stay here because:

1. I dislike being home
2. Home sucks
3. I promised it to a friend

So here I am, in San Antonio, most of my roommates are headed home for the weekend, which means if I decide to have anyone over I don't have to worry about there being a mess, or anything of that matter. My roommates are like precision mess makers, its amazing to watch them work. And they can work a whole loaf of bread over in less than a day. Lol, its like some kind of storm hit the place--sad...

Well I might hit this thing back later, but I'm out!

The Best And Worst Day You Ever Had

It wasn't like I knew what to expect when this day started out, I didn't know that my computer would crash and cause me to have to reformat the hard drive, I didn't know that I would spend the night with a girl that I can tell would be the perfect girlfriend for me, and I didn't know that I do some of my best game playing ever. What do you call this, "The Worst and Best Day You Ever Had"? I call it a rollercoaster ride worthy of some brakes every once in a while. But yeah, factors beyond my control caused me to have to fix my computer, I lost a little bit of data, but it was minimal, I actually backed up all of the files and piuctures, including my vast array of music. I'm a careful man to say the least.

I had to take two tests today and they were horrible, I feared them and with good reason, I was less than prepared and these were my first big tests of the semester. First chance to prove what I'm really made of here at UTSA. So when the tests were done and fear had passed I guess all that could be left was regret and hope that I've learned my lesson. What came next was something I didn't plan on and it just jumped into my head, I called my friend Adrienne and talked to her for half and hour. She's much younger than me and had crush on me forever! I was surprised to see how she's maturing, which is always good because she's starting to realize that some of the trivial things that she's going through aren't going to ruin her life.She's learning to cope with all of the stuff that's going on around her, which makes me proud because she's become some what of a little sister to me. Which reminds me I need to call Kinsey.

After that I got the gift I got for Allison's birthday ready, an anniversary edition of the movie Clerks by Kevin Smith. She's a big Kevin Smith fan like me and she had talked about getting the movie before. When I heard her say that she wanted it I had my gift picked out for her. I think that I was dead on when I got it, and got the bag. She even said she liked it. We went out to eat and I really didn't get any eating done, I was so nervous I only had one bite of my food before I got it boxed up. But I could tell from the way I was feeling, how my heart felt like it was going to come unhinged that I was starting to fall for this girl.

I know I might have said it alot since Ive been here, and maybe its just because I'm away from home. But I think that she and I have connected better than anyone else I've met here, I mean she just called me the nicest guy shes ever met. She said there should be more guys like me and then she said some other stuff I can't remember because its now approaching dawn, but I remember that it was good. I really can say that I feel happy today over all because of the two hours I spent with her, I mean fuck the other hours of the day spent with the computer as it crashed over and over or with my neck hunched over a test. I had more fun with Allison and Jennifer and hanging out with Casey, and playing games with Brandon, and talking to Chanele than I had trouble getting to all of that fun.

Does anyone remember the line from Clerks when Dante said that all life really was is a series of down notes? Well I think its right in a sense, I mean no matter what you know things have to come back down, there's a reaction to every action, that's just how God made it. But even then you can tell that things will always get better, you can always look forward to the upside. This is the upsdie to all of the tests, the sitting in class hours on end.

I guess I have something to really be thankful for, I can look forward to later today when I'll see Allison, when I'll hang out with more friends and when things will go up and down like today...

The City of Never Sleep

To say the least today has been very different, I didn't go to bed until 6 AM, I just got back from Chili's, thats where we had lunch. Its been a slow day today, while yesterday couldn't seem to slow down. And while things are at least going good here at college I can't say that I'm doing as good on my own. My decsion making process is totally out of whack and I seem to want everything to happen too fast. Maybe its jsut being away from home now and not having anyone to say, "Hey you can't go there". I can just do things for myself for the most part. I've got some freedom.

Last night was, well it was fun, I went to the movies, saw Resident Evil 2, which was great and hung out with some people until about 4 AM, I spent two hours after that playing Grand THeft Auto Vice City (this is becoming a trend).

I guess that all I really did yesterday was sit around before that, except that I did watch Mean Girls that I downloaded from the internet. And if you think that makes me a bad person then listen to this, I saw it in theaters and I plan on buying it in nine days when it comes out on DVD. Not all people who use bootlegs are just trying to get by on the movie makers. I just really enjoy the movie.

Last night, I did something really good, or maybe it was really dumb. I bought a movie for this girl I like because it was like her favorite movie and it had a scratch on it. I offered to fix it with the CD Doctor, but that didnt work so I want her to have a real copy of it. I ordered it off Amazon. It was actually under ten bucks in all. But I hope that she likes it since I just did it to surprise her with.

Well I have a paper to finish, stuff to read, I better get my ass off here...

Hell Yeah....

Making Head Way

What can I say about the last few days? I don't really know if theres anything that I can say to sum up all that's happened. I can start by saying that there's been alot going on. For one we're all been spending more time together, I mean me and my roommates, its becoming more family like here. We clean up together, and last night we sat around for hours playing Grand Theft Auto Vice City. It reminded me of being home again, playing games and laughing it up.

Even better than that I wrote my paper and the people who had to review it in class really enjoyed it. It was on punk rock if I didn't mention that already. I did alot of research and checked into alot of conflicting leads to get it as true as possible. I don't bullshiting my way through papers when theres time for me to do research. I finished the paper quickly to say the least and I had to do some work for politics, looking something up. Since Ashley had been so busy with work that week she hadn't had time to find enough information, so while I was getting my stuff, I grabbed her some too, just so that we she didn't get in trouble.

We have this assignment thats for extra credit where we have to come up with a campaign stratgey for our candidate. Ashley and I are on the republican side, so we have to pretty much propose Bush's plans for the next four years. She was trying to find info for Bush's stance on education, and I was working on the war on terroism. I have a really easy subject to research, I mean its like flooding into every aspect of popular culture.

Muscians are singing about it and there's even a video game about it. So my research is easy. I mean how many songs are there about Education in the U.S.?

Before class I had drawn Ashley a picture, I said it was because she gave me rides home, but its not the real reason. It was like the one she said she liked that I made of her before. I drew this one on a huge sheet of Bristol paper and colored it, which is usually a nightmare for me, but this came out really good. I wish I had a picture of it to show. But i gave it to her already and she loved it. When I told her that her eyes looked green to me her face lit up and I felt really nervous because she seemed so happy. But i'd have to say that they are greenish brown. Kind of like how Tiffany's seem to change with emotions, it must be some enzymes collaborating to make some kind of mixture or something...

Well I better get off here, everyone's getting back and its getting rowd, gotta go see whats up!

Labor Day

Damn, I'm sorry about the updates to this thing, or the lack there of. I spent the weekend back home for Labor Day, well really I just went home to get more of my stuff. But while I was there I saw some more of my friends who seemed to miss me alot, some of them didn't I guess I really haven't been gone that long. But its cool, I'm back here now trying to get some my paper on punk rock done tonight. And praying to God that I get to hang out with Ash;ey tomorrow. I decided I'm going to do a picture for her to take with her, one of my first on Bristol paper since I got ot the college.

I have a book to return to this friend in my class and some software to return to the student store up at the center of the university. I had a pretty average day, played some GTA Vice City. Yesterday was alot of fun though, I hung out with Chanele and Casey alot and we went to the store and got some ice cream. Rightn ow I'm a little pre occupied with this paper so I'm going to wrap it up here.

Knockin' On Heaven's Door

Well I feel a little bit better now, I don't know why I felt bad in the first place, tomorrow by this time I'll be home, able to get in my own bed and all that jazz. But thats not really all that exciting, I'll have my shit back, thank God, I can ride my bike places now. Thank God for that!. Well this will be my shortest entry yet! Well I'm out.

"Does Ben Have to Stab a Bitch?"

What's Wrong With Me

I've been feeling more and more shitty since around this time yesterday, I don't really understand it, I walked to class fine, got there, dozed off, Ashley found me and woke me up, and I talked to her some, from there it all went down hill. Its felt like I've been sliding down some kind of slope and I don't know why. Nothing happened, nothing so bad to make me feel like this. Well one bad thing happened but I don't even want to go into that.

Yesterday was normal enough, as I said last entry, less than 24 hours before this, but right towards the end of the day something happened and I just felt bad from then on. I'vew drawn some today, even wrote a little, and this random guy came and played games with me because he just saw me playing. Nothing made me feel better, none of the normal things I do. I really just want to crawl in my bed and stay there.

Well I'm going to go do something...

Blah

Today really wasn't all that interesting, I saw Ashley again although the terms seemed much less, well lets just say that it wasn't bad but nothing phenominal happened. Even worse I was suddenly stricken with this bout of saddness near the end of the day, I can't explain why but it just felt like there was something wrong with me, but I didn't have anything wrong per say, it was odd to say the least. I really think that there's alot of potential to be a good friend to her and maybe something more, I really am fond of her, to say the least and I would be interested in taking things further.

Of course she has to want to do the same, so I think I might try a little harder next week to get some kind of sign from her, because right now all I get is mixed signals. I did take a picture with her, she's probably very photogentic, I mean most pretty girls are, so I might post that when the rest of the roll is up.

I mentioned earlier that I was celebrating the anniversary of my very own story, well I realize now that I need to get back to writing that very story. I've been away from home and in woder for so long at the fact that I'm here that I forgot my duties as a writer. I mean its a career like any other, even though I don't get paid its just as real, is it not?

I can tell already that this is going to be a short entry so I'm going to toss a bit of my first FBI story in here:

The headlights of the car sliced the darkness as the car sped down the winding country road, great arched trees towered above and hung out to make small bridge ways across the street. Pavement appeared as the light collided with it only to quickly drop under the car and give way to more pavement.

Above in the sky clouds dipped and twirled, moving around the dark heavens in an endless dance. All around the Impala the trees seemed to hold fog, like moss caught in their branches; the fog rose and fell on the ground as if it was some sort of entity itself.

The car leaned slightly to take a heavy curve; Justin leaned with the car some, but was forced to slow down some because of the fog that hid the curve. The lights of the car seemed to be reflected back into the cab of the car.

Justin ran his hands over his hair real quick, suddenly glad that he was driving and not any of the others, not like he didn’t trust them. But he knew that they might take a little bit longer to make it into town.

He and Special Agent John Elledge sat in the front seat of the car. In the back seat was Tiffany and her boyfriend, PJ. They were lucky to have a lot of room and not have to sit all on top of each other in the car. All of them were quiet as the car rolled down the road towards its final destination. It was beginning to rain now.

The fog became thicker, slamming into the car like small raindrops that hovered above the ground. There couldn’t have been a thicker mist, and as Justin took a curve slowly he noticed that the fog started to look different from any fog he had ever-lay witness to. Like the clouds above had done when they were still visible the fog twisted and leapt with an almost ghostly property.

Fingers of white cloud like mist forked out and touched the car from far ahead. The others seemed to be so tired that they were oblivious of the situation; music had held their interest for a while, but after Justin had played through his collection of rock CDs, they found out that most of what they found on the radio was static filled tejano stations and country stations.

The Impala jumped from a fog bank, the road was clear of fog for now. Then the car slid around the next corner, slowly Justin took the sharp curve and the wheels slipped on the wet road. Just as the car came out from around the curve Justin saw something in the fog, it looked almost like a face that was screaming out in pain, he slammed on the brakes and the tries screamed making the face seem like it had some volume now.

Tiffany shot forward in her seat and latched onto the back of John’s seat, her red hair flashed forward and slapped at the back of the seat leather. She yelled in panic, “What’s wrong!?” The car slid to the side, skidding a little.

Justin could see the fog bank over take his car from the side, and the face slammed into the car emitting a light screaming sound. The car jolted and lifted up on two wheels; the car slammed back on the ground and PJ and John yelled out as Tiffany screamed again. The car rolled over into a large hill on the side of the road, the trees now gone and replaced by some sand.

Tink—tink—tink. The car made a sound as it sat there still running and shoved hard into the side of the hill. Justin looked back at the others and rubbed his head, “Is everyone okay?” He asked. They all nodded, “That was brutal.” He added.

“What happened?” Tiffany asked for the third time.

Justin turned around and looked, almost as quickly as they had crashed the fog was dissipating; spinning into smaller and smaller water vapor. “You didn’t see it?” Justin asked. “The face in the fog?”

John put his hand over on the wheel, “That’s a sign it’s time to switch drivers.” John joked. Justin just looked at him.

PJ stroked his goatee, he looked over at Tiffany and then at the door, “You think this thing will work?” He asked.

Justin opened the door and cool winter air flooded in, Justin stood on the side of the car looking down at the tires, he hollered back into the door, “The rims aren’t bent, I think the motor should be fine, it didn’t hit that hard.” Justin said.

Tiffany held her phone up, “Should we call the insurance company now, and file a claim?” She asked. “That’s going to be a pretty odd reason that you gave—“

“Like something out of an LSD trip.” John said.

Slowly getting back into the car, Justin ignored John, “Thank God this car is going to make it, I haven’t seen another car drive by us for about two or three hours.” Justin said.

“That gets kinda creepy, it gives you that feeling that your all alone.” PJ said.

Justin pushed his CD back in and turned back to see what the others were doing, “So what now, do you think we should head on into town, get this thing fixed and rent a car?” Justin asked.

Tiffany looked at the front end of the car, “We can’t drive back to Houston like this…we’ll have to get it looked at before we decide what to do. And about your face—that might be from over working yoursel—do you see that man?” Tiffany pointed to the other side of the road where a man stood at the edge of the road, barely visible.

John was the first to stand up out of the car, his short brown spiked hair poked up into the cooled night air, Justin and PJ came after him telling Tiffany to stay in the car. They made their way across the road, without looking and John called out before he reached the man, “Federal Agent!”

The man stood there just looking at them, and Justin passed a flashlight over him. They could see now that the man was old with red sun damaged skin; he was Hispanic and wore a black hat, dusty and dirty jeans and a green shirt. His hair was white and jutted out from underneath the hat and his eyes were narrow with the wrinkled edges that come from age. John stopped in front of the man puzzled and Justin and PJ stopped a few steps in front of John, “Sir, are you alright?” Justin asked.

On that note I think I've shown how far that I've come in three years because that little bit of writing licked balls. I sure hope nothing I've written since then has licked balls so much. Well I have to be off to go write, I'll hit this thing up later, awe who the fuck am I kidding, I'll forget like always!

Date With Ashley

I guess I should get this out pretty quick, since I need to be leaving for class in just a little while and I need to stop and pick up a copy of Office 2003 from the bookstore. Well what can I say about whats going on, we finally fixed one of the things that was broken in our room, the toilet, the door was fixed that next morning as I think I mentioned last entry or the one before.

All and all I'm aching for the day to come down to one thing and one thing only, Policital Science class, because that's the class where I get to be near Ashley and maybe even talk to her some afterwards. I don't think I've ever enjoyed school this much and despite the fact I was up at four AM trying to keep my ass out of the flames I plan on making this work and getting my time managed better.

Alot of my time has been taken up by cleaning, the first time I cleaned it was so Ashley wouldn't come and find the place in a mess, which she still did, the second time it was because it had gotten so terriblily out of order that it had to be set straight. Today its back in a state I like to call utterly fuckitized, there's things everywhere, mulitple cans on the table and coffee tables and there's paper and wires from the damn X-BOX everywhere.

The fact that the thing in the middle room, the gaming system of evil, X-BOX is there, is a sure sign I had nothing to do with this shit since I am a rabid hater of the X-BOX and all its empty promises. I'd rather stick with one of Gods systems, PS2 or GC. But off that note tis not a pretty picture, hell for once my room is the cleanest of those in the entire place. I feel proud, I want to stick my chest out and hold my head high. But there's not time for that now.

Classes have been challenging and interesting enough to keep me occupied, I have two Anthropologies, which I like both of, and I have History, Politics, and Freshman Composition. Like I think I said, all of my teachers are really nice, nothing like how you hear about the evil college professor only out to get students, I'm sure that there are some of those in real life, but I'm just talking about how mine are nice.

One of my teachers is newly graduated, shes only 24 and she's relaly pretty. But besides that she seems to really know her stuff, all of the other men in the class gawk at her and make snide little comments that she can hear because its a very small class, just 35 people. In my second Anthropology one of the girls thats a friends roommate usually sits next to me, she's very pretty and sometimes I think I might come off as flirting with her when I'm really not trying or when weird things just happen. Her roommates tease me about it and call me a homewrecker because she has a boyfriend, but like I said I did nothing to really lead her on.

Yesterday I went to dinner with Casey and some of her friends, their all very hyper upbeat girls and they seem like they have alot of fun together, I was quiet for the most part and I think its for the best because the more you open your mouth in some situations the dumber you look. But I had alot of fun and I got to sit with her while she studied too, which was cool, but hard because I had to keep my mouth shut and I think I made her a little mad by not doing it.

Last night I called her up to tell her goodnight because I hadn't gotten to see her before bed, and I think she found that a little cute.

One more thing that I did yesterday is I started a writing journal, one for just things having to do with my writing of stories, music, whatever--I wrote in it while I was sitting at the table with Casey while she was studying. Most of what I wrote was just observation but this may help me out some. I plan to write in it daily from now on. Its about the be the anniversary of a very big day for me as a writer, about three years ago today, just before September 11th, I started on a story just to set out to write something realistic (not fan fiction or too far fetched) but also having to do with the paranormal. What came out was a story named Phantoms, it featured a select group of FBI agents that quickly grew and morphed, until they are the group that is commonly seen in my stories today, (Justin, Megan, PJ, Tiffany, Robin, Kathy, John, Stroud, Matt, Melanie, and many more).

One interesting fact, Jodie was originally a worker for the DOD (Department of Defense) and in the newer stories she is one of the White Hats an ingenious computer programmer group that tries to expose govermental wrong doings. Also one huge change was Stroud, he was a bad guy, and now he's a good guy. And his entire background changed, not to mention the added accent and the hair color. The only reason I added Stroud to the new one as I did is because I needed more male characters, but look how far he's come! Another little known fact is that the story has a title that the whole series is under, The Turks, I never got down to putting it anywhere, so I think I'm the only one that knows it. But the old story did say it.

In the immortal words of Ashely "That's so nerdy!"

Peace