Slippery Slopes And Other Fine Ways To Bust Your Ass

I have a class in two hours and I have pretty much pulled an all nighter on the basis of I couldn't get to sleep. I guess the fact that I spent most of the day lounging around in my new bed has something to do with it. I had a good day, hung out with friends, ate at IHOP, talked to Persephanie, watched Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle and all around just hung out. There's not much more to it than that, right, so I am just going to go right into it.

Now I have something I would really like to bring up, its just something that has been on my mind a little lately. Does it appear to anyone else that people are bored with sex? I mean I look around and there are people out there going through partners like I go through potions in a battle with Emerald Weapon (little Final Fantasy VII reference for you). But seriously there are other things going on. Like someone on a forum I go to posted a news link about the world gang bang champion, now most people would think that she slept with like eighty to one hundred men in one day...but most people would be so wrong my friend. Those numbers would have been graceful by all means.

This girl slept with six hundred and forty nine men! Let me say that again six hundred and forty fucking nine!(649) That is the sickest shit I have heard of in recent years, this was all in one day and the guys just lined up and came at her.

Then I was reading about cannibalism for some story research, you would think with me, "Now there couldn't be anything about sex in an article about cannibalism, right?" Wrong, wrong. You are wrong again, there was. And this time I think I threw up a little. Some people apparently have a cannibalism fetish and fantasize about being eaten during sex, or eating someone else. I know we're not supposed to judge, but allow me to play Devil's Advocate here. You can't say that any part of that makes sense. You can't consume people, most animals don't consume other living animals of the same type! I mean its different if its for survival like in the movie Alive. But this is just for shits and giggles. This goes further than all of the hair-pulling, spanking, biting, blood drinking and yes even the necrophillia.

The point I am trying to make here is that it seems to me people are just getting crazy bored with sex, something that is meant to be fun and exicting, while surving a purpose (procreation, I know some people hate to hear that, but its true) and is meant to be special. Sex has become sort of a willy nilly thing you do, its like Marla Singer said in the movie/book Fight Club, "The condom has become the glass slipper of our generation."

I think that where the emotion is gone, that the other crazy stuff has to come into play, obviously with Necrophillia and the Cannibal thing they emotion is really gone for those people or they have some kind of mental disorder. But I mean for the normal everyday sex fiend who can't make it one weekend with out chasing tail or trying to scheme on someone at a bar just for a one night stand, that has to kind dull your emotional sense of sex. Just like how I like Pizza, but if I eat pizza all of the damn time, I will get bored with it, I will get to that point I don't like it anymore.

Its tough to say this, sex is a sensative subject, you mention it in public, little girls get squimish, people cover their kids ears, old ladies throw bags at you and dogs dart around in quick circles...but someone needs to say it because realistically we're setting ourselves up for a society where love has no place in sex, and I don't think that will hurt love it self, but it will make us wonder why anyone used to call it making love. It'll just be fucking and fucking isn't anything good. Most of the time when people use the word its not for good things. Now obviously we don't want to get making love mixed in with the eating people or sex with dead bodies...I mean if someone told me they were going to make love to a dead body, I'd quietly step away and break into a fast run.

But society as a whole needs to place some value back in things like love, its so easy to cut out the middle man and go downtown and pick up girls at a bar. But then who's to say that its not just easier to go cruise down the street out here and pick up one of the hookers, I mean you don't have to spend all nightr trying to get them and buying them drinks just for them to turn you down, right? Where I am going with this is that its all a slippery slope, and most people who are on it aren't going to want to stop. It's like some guy said, "To me, ass is ass." Yeah alright, Aristole, but try not to forget its attached to a person.

Shirin's Stalker

Shirin has a stalker friend...and I told her, the trick to getting rid of a guy you don't want is to tell him the truth, half of the problems women have with men is they don't want to take care of the problem, they want to leave it alone and let it boil down. Only with so many guys it seems to over boil and cause them to hate women in general. I think this quote from bash.org provided by PJ put it the best:

PJ (12:18:31 AM): A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

What happened with Shirin is that she gave the guy from this anime club she is in her number, and later called him to invite him to a party...so what do most guys make of that? He couldn't go because he was sick, but he later invited her to coffee. Now she is ignoring him. The thing is that all of these things can be seen as her liking him too and thus are signals.

It's true, Shirin gave this guy her number, and invited him to a party, that's fair game to make a guy assume that he is liked. Not only that, by ignoring him and making him think you are angry, he will further believe that he is liked and that you are just mad or punishing him for not coming to the party. Unless you clearly tell us you don't like us, we don't know what you are thinking. Ever heard the phrase mixed signals? Look at the signals she is sending him, don't they seem to be conflicting in some ways, but then in others they seem to be telling him that she does in fact like him.

For me, with guys and girls, you will know I don't like you. I will put you off, I will try and distance myself. I don't flirt with someone I am not attracted to. So here are a few pharses that could help Shirin out:

"Leave me alone, you creepy fuck."

"Die a horrible death."

"Stop texting me, I don't like you like that or at all for that matter."

"I don't want to touch your meat stick."

"I don't have time to date because of all my bastard children."

And if she has to lie she could go with the classic,"I am a man hating dyke.". Points are given for grabbing the nearest woman and kissing her, tongue is a plus.

That's all I have to say about that.

God Must Be Generous

I am going out now, I have to because I can't be in this place right now. I wrote someone a choice email, something very personal and to say the least, I don't know what to expect, I know it won't be the worse possible thing that can happen, but I don't know what will happen and isn't that worse sometimes. On top of that another friend of mine is going through tough times, she won't tell me what's happening and she has always been there for me when I was feeling bad, would take me out and buy me soda when I was down and the like, I want to be there for her too. So tonight, I am going to go out and try and have some fun, try and have something to myself. I hope I find some peace, I also hope that I'm not crazy for liking someone I don't really deserve and I know it, but then again we don't deserve half of the blessings God lets us have...he must be generous, because I know if he wasn't people would be fucked a lot more often.

Day

Looks like I've fucked up my Call Ripken like perfect attendance, not that I really had it in the first place, I have missed almost a week in here before, probably more. Also I am feeling much better than I have been in previous days. Needless to say that a lot of liquids and rest seem to be the best ways to combat the common cold, if that is even what I had.

There is a lot going on right now, and while I am doing this I should be writing my story, because it has been suffering from lack of me touching it. Even more so I should be shooting some photos. But I might have to get up and go out and do the photoshooting so I have something that I can actually work on developing.

My Konstantine

I feared her knowing how I felt so much, that I buried it deep inside, and it along with other things took their toll. Let me go on to say this right here and right now: if you think I am stupid for saying this or thinking this way then you shouldn't fucking be here because this wasn't meant for people like you. I'm not like you, I don't want the things that you want and I don't want you to think for a second that anything you say or do is going to change my mind.

With that having been said, I told her what happened to me straight up, but I didn't tell her any kind of ultimatim, I didn't try and bargin some meaningless friends with benifits relationship out of it. I just did what I needed to, I said what mattered, not for my sake, but for hers. I spent so long worrying about protecting her, and I really just want her to know that she is really great and that any guy would be a fool not to want her. That's what really caring about someone will make you feel. She needs to know, even if that means she's going to hate me for it, I know she won't but the last girl did and you know, she totally wasn't worth my time.

I told her the truth about the other dates I went on, the shitty way they all ended up and the way that through it all I thought about her. I am certain this isn't going to turn into us dating or anything like that, but I had to let her know for my sake and hers when I think back on it. I had to be truthful most of all. And how do you know anything if you never try?

Nothing

I feel so unwanted here, like it wouldn't matter if I was here or not and that's just the tip of the whole thing, where the hell do I belong then. What's my place in all of this. I really don't feel at home like I used to around anyone. The girls that I like never regard me as more than a friend, most want nothing to do with me at all, other girls that are just friends pretty much could care less about me most of the time unless there's some kind of favor I can do for them. Other guys either end up hating me because of the fact I don't let them walk over girls and sleep with them at will, or they end up just being distant, I'm in the middle, I don't fit in well enough anywhere.

Really I try so hard to be nice and be good to others, I try to hard when no one else seems to care, and in the end no one cares about the person who was checking on them when they were drunk, or ran to the store to get more of this or that. I am not good with others maybe, but I try, I don't do things just to satisfy my own ends.

But why do I even bother to do anything, I don't want to be helpful or nice to people anymore, look where it gets me. No one cares what you think when you aren't ignoring them or being really rude, if you like them they have no reason to worry about you. When you ignore someone they want your attention so bad that it hurts them and they try their best to get it. But what do I really have to look forward to? A life of lonliness? I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to be here if I have to be like this all of the time, if I have to suffer just for being nice, just for speaking what I feel is right or telling the truth. I've never heard of anyone speaking out so loud and yet having no one even look your direction.

Right now I want so badly to give up on everything, maybe I already have.

Hole (Faulty Souls Pt2)

Maybe this isn't what God intended for us, seeking others to be coupled with, huddled together in the darkness looking for a light, for anything we can use. Just searching for warmth in each other, searching for a way out of this tormented state. Maybe orginal sin and all of the things that have followed it built up. Maybe we're responsible for the sins of our ancestors, the rape of cultures, the crucifixion of Jesus, all of the countless wars, betrayls and wrong doings. The lies that could probably stretch throughout or own history more than once; maybe all of these things are as much our own as they are those of the people that perpatrated them.

Maybe because of this our souls are imnperfect, I have to ask the question again, "Were we engineered like this, with some kind of hole in our souls to keep us longing for a closeness that can never be achieved here in life?". Centuries of sin stacked up and burrowed through the center of our hearts. There's a hole in our soul and we didn't even notice it, how could we let this go unchecked? And the end result is that we're going to let it grow wider and deeper...

End Of An Era Pt 2

Not since the disappearnce of the DuMont network in 1955 has a telelvsion station just ceased to exist. But now in September of 2006 we have lost two at the same time. That's right, the networks UPN and the WB have ceased to be, instead they have formed into one network, the CW. Shows from both of the networks will make an appearnce, however one of the longest running shows from the WB, "Charmed", will not be returning, see "Charmed" ended its run after eight long seasons. "Seventh Heaven" which was long slated to be ending after ten years on the air, was actually renewed for a tenth season on the CW.

The reason why I write all of this in here is because the WB and UPN are not only networks younger than me, but they are networks I can remember getting their start. The network Fox and I are the same age, its actually a few months younger than me, it was launched October 9th. But for a generation of kids born in the mid to late eighties, early ninties; FOX, the WB and UPN were our places to go for network television. All three of them catered to a younger crowd, and all three of them have housed some debatably great shows. Most notably "Simpsons" and "X-Files" on FOX, "Star Trek: Voyager" and "Moeisha" on UPN and "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" and "Seventh Heaven" on the WB. It's also funny to note that all of these shows with the exception of 3 have gone almost ten seasons.

So why am I giving this little recount of recent broadcast history? Well think about it, for the first time since the heat of the Cold War, a network has been dropped from the rooster. It might not change our lives but some of the defining shows of our decade were made on these two networks. Some of the defining actresses and actors of our generation have come from these networks. Seth Green who earlier appeared in the movie "IT" got his big break on "Buffy", as did Alyissa Hannighan and Sarah Michelle Gellar. The UPN carried on the legacy of Star Trek through three spin-offs of the series "Deep Space Nine", "Voyager", and "Enterprise". I could really go on with this, but I think you get the point.

With all these being said one of the most promising shows that we saw last season on the WB, "Supernatural", will be coming back (THANK YOU GOD) and that makes me happy. I only hope that it has a place the season after next, as this is a last ditch effort to save the two networks. As for those of us 15-20 years old, we'll be ending the era of those growing up with Moeshia Mitchell, Hanging with Mister Cooper all over again, fighting along side Buffy Summers, and watching the Camdens grow.

I know I bitched a lot about UPN especially, and I got mad with the WB canceled my favorite show, "Angel". But this is really sad to have to say, these networks have no more history. It looks like the curtain has fallen on Michighan J. Frog...and the house lights dim.

A Picture is Worth 515 Words

Time has flown by so fast, I started this blog in the summer before I moved to college. I learned to much about myself in college, its been two years now. I have met so many great people, and even more not so great people. Looking back I can tell you that there has been a lot of ups and downs. The picture I posted here is basically two of the people I have met while in this city, Debra and Heather.

When I think back on Debra its funny, I used to have a crush on her. I went as far as to say that she was the most attractive girl I had met at UTSA. While she didn't have the things I usually consider a dead winner (red hair, green eyes) she did have something else that counts more, a great personality. She was always cheerful and friendly. She was just cutesy, a little ditsy and just all around fun. I am happy to say that even though almost everyone I talked to Freshmen year pissed me off multiple times, she never did.

Heather I have only known about a year, but what a year it has been, she has changed so much and seen me do the same. And to think that if I hadn't met her I wouldn't know Persephanie, Greg and a lot of the other people that I now know. Back when I met her I really didn't know much about her. She came to dinner one night dressed up really nice and I figured she was one of those girls who was really shy, prim and proper. She wasn't really shy at all though. Heather was loud, she was like bottled up excitement and she can always make someone smile.

I bring these two up because I really wanted to go and explore some of the other things that have happened since I got to college. Soon after getting here I made the comment that college is like a Hurricane, its unpredictable, it can change at any time, and you never know how wide the path of destruction might be. While I love college, because of the way you are grouped so close to people, you tend to have a problem with things moving too fast for you to even be able to define them. When I first got here I made friends in a matter of days that it felt like I had known for months.

It was like we were in an alternate dimension or something, things were just moving too fast and what seemed like a friendship was nothing more than an acquaintance sometimes. That's important to remember. I would also like to think I felt what true unrequited love felt like for the first time. And it really hurt, it did a number on me. Thank God that I can somewhat trust again and understand that not every woman will be like that. So much has happened, I don't know what will come next, but I do know its kind of exciting to think.

Was Once An Angel

How am I still putting up with this, now that things have become so different, everything has changed so much this year and I'm still here; still trying to just do things the way I see them being done around me. So you think, guy meets a girl and girl tells him to talk to her later that things around to go good. She gives me her AIM and goes off on her merry way. Why block me after going through the trouble of doing all of that stuff. What the hell is that going to accomplish? And when you finally explian, your excuse is so stupid and so worn out.

"Well I don't want to have to teach a guy what goes on in a relationship..."

There's the story of my life, not enough experince. I don't care anymore, I don't want or need this. I try so hard to be nice to people and to treat others the way they want to be treated. Well apparently I was wrong, others want to be treated like shit. They want you to ignore and neglect them rather than be a little 'inexperinced'.

Experince doesn't count unless your in a gunfight or playing an RPG...I'm done giving people chances.

The Chamber Maid: Sex vs. Intimacy

Intimacy versus Sex, or more importantly casual sex.

Let me explain, I see sex inside of marriage as the most legitimate form of sex, then comes sex in a relationship, a distant third is spontaneous sex between two people outside of a relationship, but who know each other. I say that because at least they know something of one another and care about each other. Lastly, an even further out there one is casual sex.

Now intimacy is not exactly the same as sex, although sex can be intimate, not all intimacy is sex. A lot of things can be intimate, I can be intimately close to a good friend even, I have had very few friends I would use that specific word for, but it can happen. I feel like some people group these two things together. Greg did just that the other day. I was talking about how seeking sex with an underaged girl just because she has large breasts is wrong, he told me that I was in the same boat.

I won't explain who he was referring to me liking, but I will say this, its not the same thing. Me really, truly liking someone goes much deeper than this desire to "bone" them, as someone so quaintly put it. When someone compares you really caring about someone, with someone just thinking that someone would be a good fuck, its a little offensive to have someone tell you that, to even accuse you of that.

I know that I may sound pompous trying to say that, but its just not the way I want to view every girl I see. And I don't think the first thing that you should try to come up with when you meet them is a reason to sleep with them. I'm not the kind to look for that in a woman. I want to make sure that everyone out there knows, that casual sex with someone you don't even know, just to get off isn't intimacy, its two adults licking each other's wounds. And if you only got to know them to create an avenue for sexual interaction, its the same thing. Don't fool yourself, because when its all said and done that other person is going to be like the chamber maid. They set up everything, leave until you're gone, and come back to clean up the mess.

People Induce Vomiting

What is it about the interaction between males and females that makes me sick? On one hand you have the guys, trying to feed their carnal hunger but they don't want the girls to know because they figure that no girl is going to want to just sleep with them, no strings attached. And then you have the girls scared to do anything, or just too stubborn. They want every guy that is bad for them, or every guy they can't have, when the right guy is right there in front of them the whole time, or not. When there is no right guy, they take the worst possible guy that they can pick from.

I don't have the energy to deal with all of this anymore, I really don't. How can you fuck someone you don't have any care for, how does that work? How can you date someone just because they look like this, when they treat you like total shit and belittle you all of the time? I'm done trying to help others out, because I watch them run into the same stupid mistakes, girls dating guys that have cheated on them multiple times before, using the same lame excuses to try and get out of it. Guys fucking anything that moves and even making up reasons to do so, acting like they need to have sex like its eating or drinking water.

It's just people who want to be adults, who don't know what real intimacy is; people in a society oversaturated with contradicting views of its own people. How can you call a girl a ho when you are dating another girl while sleeping with her? How can some girl say no guys are ever nice to them when the only guys who are they shove away just because they aren't cool enough. I have one more of these to do...another blog, this one will be preferred list only.

Give Up

I'm stuck thinking about someone, and I know that some might call it sad or call it pathetic or any number of things. Tonight I was hung up on things, I was replaying things I wish could happen. Moments I wish I could have, just sitting with someone, watching a movie, talking face to face. These thoughts took priority in my mind, they controlled my night.

I hate to think about it, because I know that these things will never happen. For some reason I know that they can't because I doubt I could ever be that lucky or well off. What do you say to that when you're just twenty and you know that the things you want most in the world, the important things, you can never have?

What's left to work for if you never get anything you want, you never get to have anyone to spend time with? You just give up on everything else right? It feels like the easy way out of all these things.

My Job

I know that its early, well not early in the sense of time, but early in the sense that I do not usually do blog entries at this time of day. And even then there have always been exceptions. Like if I get crazy good news that I just have to put out there while the excitment is still fresh. Well today it's just the opposite. I have bad news to share, but I guess that depends on how you take it. But the whole story I'll retell for you all below, because I think it just stands out as something that can teach everyone just how bad it can be when you work for an unknown company that's a small business.

Well you all know that a month ago I quit my job, I wrote about it , not much though. Because I really just wanted to put it all behind me. I waited a pretty long time to go back and check up on my money. But what you need to know is that I worked for this company almost three months, I was a Security Guard, I lost a piece of equipment that was at least six months old, had been worn from use and what not, they wanted me to pay for it and docked fifty dollars out of each check for it.

Here is where things get interesting, after this point in time I go yelled at on a weekly basis by a supervisor who worked there. He used to come out and accuse me of not being vigilent, used to accuse me of all kinds of things like sleeping, not working and stuff like that. When its obvious that I never once feel asleep on the job, and while I was in my car when the equipment got stolen, I was wide awake watching the cars, which is what I am supposed to be doing.

I quit the job when my brother did because I knew they would take his quitting out on me, so fast forward to just a few hours ago, I went up to the old office to turn in my other equipment and pick up what was left of my last check. Well I went in there and they told me that my last check was zero dollars and that I still owed them two hundred and six dollars on top of that.

Well I started to tell them that I would pay the money back, so long as I got my last check, but they told me there was nothing left of it, they had taken it to add it to the other money I had owed for the lost equipment. Well then I informed them that my brother had found the same equipment for less money, the boss first told me off about mentioning my brother and then got onto me about how they weren't going to take some shit I found on the internet because there was no warranty (his words, not mine).

I then tried to tell them that I needed to get some money, and they told me if I had quit with two weeks notice they would have no withheld my last check, but I know that's not true, their malicious to people all of the time for quitting, but they will just as soon fire you for no reason. Well as I was asking about something the boss told me not to talk over him, to which I replied, "Fuck that".

Why should I listen to someone who is talking down to me, he actually had the nerve to say "I need to replace my stolen equipment that was taken while you were half asleep in your car". Bullshit, I was wide awake in my car, or in the back of the propety, it doesn't matter. They never told me how much the thing costed or not to leave it alone, I knew the radio was expensive, hence why I never left it alone. But I had never been trained or anything, so when I was done, I left the other piece of equipment in the Golfcart. When it was stolen I could have been any number of places. The fact of the matter is, I was doing my job the whole time.

So I got my check, it was for zero dollars and here I am now without my money and they are threatening to take me to court over it, but who knows I might be able to prove my case and tell the judge, I was never trained, there was nothing in the book on how to do the job about locking gates or the like, or the cost of equipment. On the off chance that they do win the case, I have a contengency plan. I am going to offer to buy the equipment myself from where ever they want. Why? Well simple, their business is in trouble, this way I can make sure I don't allow them to use my money for anything else but this stupid equipment. I mean they replaced the thing the next day.

That's just going to be how it goes, I don't want them using my money, even though its not that much in the mind of a company, to help them out. I can't let them because they did too much stuff to me over the months, this will be my way of making sure they don't get one more.

He's Just Not That Into You

"He's Just Not That Into You" was the popular book to hit shevles back in the year 2004, I know that might seem like a long time ago, but it has just been two years. The thing about this book is that it didn't even address the title topic in a way that you could be sure what you were reading was true even part of the time. But let's face it, the book was based on an episode of Sex In The City by the same title.

What I want to talk about today is something that really just goes by the same logic that the title of said book would have you believe that it goes by. He's Just Not That Into You is something I think a lot of women need to realize. I get so tired of seeing my friends dating guys who seemingly don't care much about them. But not in the normal way of a guy just using a girl for sex. But I mean emotional abuse, the kind of things that a guy will do to any woman who will let him.

I have seen guys take a perfectly good girl who could do so much better and belittle them and treat them like crap, and its really the girl's fault I mean "Who else is the one staying there with the guy?"

There are so many guys trying so hard out there to find a girl, or just waiting for the right girl to come along, and maybe even ask them out somewhere. I think any guy thinks that having a girl ask him out is immasculating, thing he wasn't very masculine to begin with. Remember when I made my post on real manily men? Most of you probably don't, but I talked about the things that I think make a real man, and none of them were being macho for the sake of being that way or belittling others.

I know so many girls that have everyone screaming for them to leave their boyfriends. And not for little things like drinking occasionally with his buddies. But I mean guys cheating, or hanging out with their ex-girlfriends alone, when they have cheated before. Or for getting caught up in heavy drugs, yelling at them or hitting them and serious stuff like that.

And yet every time you talk to them, they are trying to find a way to win this guy back, to please him and make him happier with them. Grow up and get some self-esteem. I mean I know I have low self-esteem, but if some girl is sleeping with other guys and doing all of that other stuff, I would have to say that she's not worth my time. It's like that line from Naruto, there's trash and then there is worse than trash.

A lot of guys fall into that worse than trash category and their not that into you.

The War

This is my basic declaration of war on atheists, not the kind that you see who just don't believe. While I believe differently than them, I don't mind it if they don't do mean stuff to me. If they really feel like that's what they want to do, then so be it, but they don't need to bad mouth me or any one else who believe in God or whatever other people believe in.

The reason I am saying this is because I have noticed that on the internet, especially at Anime sites, there are so many atheists, and not the normal nice kind. But the vicious kind that just say mean shit because they think its cool to be anti-religion (especially Catholic and Muslim). I would go as far to say that there is a difference between being "atheist" and being "anti-religion". The anti part in the "anti-religion" shows that you are proactively trying to be mean or rude and trying to change what others believe.

I do believe that people should spread God's word, but for the sake of all that's out there, don't be a dick about it. What I mean to say is that one of the things these atheists do when I see them on the forum a lot is they insult Christians and other religious people. One of them said that all Christians believe that the Earth is six thousand years old. They call us out for wanting women to have no rights, and for being against abortion. Well of course we don't like murder, if you don't want to have a kid then don't have sex. If sex is soooo worth it then deal with the consequences.

They tell me that belief in God is no logical, well that's funny because to me, thinking that billions of molecules that could have gone an infinite number of ways; to think that in something like the Big Bang if the power of the blast had been off 0.00000000000000001 % none of us would be here right now, leaves me to believe that belief in "atheism" is illlogical. I wouldn't get so mad at this if they didn't advertise how stupid they think the idea of God and Christians are, if they didn't insult who created them, look at the terrible shit they say!

These are all actual quotes:

"But then hey, in order to be religious you need a certain logical gap in your brain anyway, so I guess I shouldn't be too suprised."

"I wasn't there, I don't know. To me Jesus is something people make fun of over the net in several photoshop pictures, cartoons, jokes and theres a picture of him and Pikachu having sex (what the fuck?).
EDIT: Ah yes, also when people get suprised or hurt in movies they go "ARH GEZUZZZZ!11"."

"But you just said that God has a grand plan and all those are parts of it, so how come those people are evil, if they simply follow God's plan? *din* Thats the sound of phail!"

"Ha! Logic lessons from a theist. Don't preach logic when you believe in the illogical."

"
I'll answer your question anyway. The God of religions is impossible. A being can't be omnipotent, omnibenevolent, and omniscient all at the same time because these characteristics counter eachother. And Hell conflicts with an omnibenevolent God. Omnibenevolent means 'all-good'. Would an all-good being condemn people to Hell for eternity? The fact that there are hundreds of religions makes me skeptical, too. Every group claims to be right, every group has a holy book, yet none can back themselves up. Why believe in something with no solid proof/evidence?"

All real quotes, so from here on I'm going to work on taking them down a peg, many of the ones I run into that are like this are narsacistic and just plain wrong about half of the word diarehha coming out of their mouths. Here showing people that even if they believe something, they need to respect others.

"..."

If you don't want to talk to me, then don't add me, if you think that I am not "cool" enough or "hot" enough, then don't bother. I don't want to be your friend anyway. You know there are a lot of things I don't need right now, there are kinds of people I don't feel like I want to meet or know. And I try to make it a point to let everyone know what I am about. You say you want guys that don't play games, but when you find one you play little games, you go out of your way to either run the guy off.

You do things like try to trap someone by saying you want something more than friends when all you wanted was friends in the first place. I really would like to know why things are expected to be one thing from guys and another from women. I try to be nice, I talk to women and I tend to generally care about people. So how come every time I turn around there is some girl running right back into the same stupid shit she has done before, sometimes with the same guy.

How come when I am honest and truthful with a person they lie to me, and are nothing but deceitful. Don't tell everyone that you want this or that you want this or that you are doing this only to not do it at all yourself and to try and take advantage of guys. Don't be uncompromising when we try to compromise with you. When we try to make you feel better and try to just be around you don't push us away. Other people have been hurt in the past too, prehaps even some as bad or worse than you. Don't call us only to play your loud music over the phone, I can't hear your music because phones weren't meant to play music.

I can say all of the terrible shit that I want to about men, how they are dogs and that most of them are just after sex. But I can say something about a lot of the ones after sex, they don't try to make it any secret. They tell you what they are about and keep telling you. Some of them tell you they don't even like you. I'm not saying that this is the right way to be, I don't want to be one of those guys. But I also don't see why its so hard to talk to a girl and get the truth.

And I am not talking about all of the girls I know, I am just talking about some in particular. And if this is about you, you would know. I am sick and fucking tired of being led on and messed with, I don't want or deserve this, I know I deserve better. And when you ask why I don't want to be friends or don't seem like I want to, then you should know, its because all of the lying and shit you did before shows me just what kind of a "friend" you are and I want no part of it.

Burden To Bare

There's this thought in my head, wrapped tight around my every reverie. It's something I know I shouldn't think about, something that I need to just forget. It's the only thing I want right now. There's another thought in my head, one that I shouldn't have to bare, one that I should have never known. Maybe putting all of this down here will help me sort it out.

But then again, I don't think it would do anymore than crying, and I'm not going to cry over this. One of these things I took on by choice, and the other, I promised I would reveal if I felt that it had to be that way. Are things supposed to be this way? Am I supposed to carry these things with me like a lock box, never to let them out even though the pressure builds each time they pass through my minds eye for closer observation?

Two things I want to say, and because of these two things my heart feels like its bound in chains, maybe if I can hold out a little longer one of these things will pass on its own, its unclear which will come first. But then again, I am not sure that I want the one to pass, because that will just make letting the other out that much harder.

Our thoughts to our thoughts, God please let me know if its my place to let this one thought out, and let me know if its my duty to hold onto the other to make sure no one hurts; because either way I'll hurt from it.

Memoria

What are we chronicling anymore? A lot of this feels like it was for nothing, and a lot of this feels like something is going to come of all of it very soon. These days I am working and I am writing; I am all in all trying to make something happen out there, I am trying to make something noticed. It dawned on me that life should be a commentary, what you should give should be a better future for those you leave in your wake.

Don't get to thinking I am wanting to start some stupid, clean the Earth program. But what I am saying is that we all make mistakes, we all do things we wish we wouldn't have. And you know Hell I can say this right now, some times it sets us back for a long time. Some times something happens and there's no getting over it, or so it seems. I still think that about some things, stuff that happened to me years ago still has an effect on me. The other morning I sat and watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

If this movie tries to stress anything, its how important memories are. I mean when you think about it, all we are is vessels that are the sum of our memories. All we have to offer the world is the lessons learned from our mistakes, left for them to find in our wakes as we dance out of this world. While there are some memories I think I could do without, some times of my life that when thought back on cause nothing but pain, I know that to get rid of them would essentially be me getting rid of myself.

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot?

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,

Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd."