Hideo Kojima...You Lying Bastard!

This man can't stop himself, he should be put in a Rehab Home...

The Topic At Hand...

Read the link...that's right.

By the way...best quote on the page!

I'm starting to think that Snake and Kojima (like Dubya) have no exit strategy planned..."

Quitter

I quit my job today. I couldn't go back there and when I finally just tried, I decided I needed to just give it up and go back to school. At that point, they were going to fire me anyway if I went back because I was late. And I really wasn't happy there or with most of those people. Most of the time I felt like I was really worthless there and people made me feel as such all too often. My one supervisor that I thought was really cool called and asked me what was wrong. I told him in a nutshell. An older lady who worked with me answering phones also called. I felt really bad for telling her, because we've lost four people in the past month, we only had nine people over there to start with.

I can't function with the way things were. Any things, in the last day or so I've done things that were drastically hard to do, but needed to be done. Even if I technically just didn't do anything with the work situation so they were going to fire me. I can't be healthy in the situation I was in before though. It was making my physically sick. So I had to make a change.

Adjustment

I wonder how much longer I can keep my mouth shut? I want to say something that I think won't come out right or go over well. And its in my nature to say something like this all of the time. The words come up, uncontrolled and unchecked. They come straight off my heart and through my mouth without being run through my mind what so ever. I think that might be the wrong way to do this.

My life has been all about adjustment, I think everyone's life is. When you crave those changes and the difference, its a great thing. But change is hard to get used to and its scary. Some of us would rather go through the same miserable routines than change. Right now I am stuck in that place in more ways than one. And I really don't know what to do about it.

Complex

There's some complex stuff going on right now, but its all in my head. I am trying to figure out exactly what it is I want to do next because there's not a clear path to follow and there's no easy risk to take, you know. This has been a long year...life's thrown a lot of curve balls (as I think it always does). But right now, things seemed to have calmed some, and I seem to have something on my mind that just won't leave. I'm starting to wonder if this was all one big mistake.

Something That Produces Results

You're trying to grow up and learn. Oh so that's what you call it. I'll never understand the mentality that people have to take all of the wrong steps, to repeat all of the same old mistakes. To cry out for help, only to ignore those who seem willing to actually help and run head first into the person who is least qualified to do anything.

I am done helping those who I think need help without being asked, maybe even begged. Its not worth it because it never turns out for the better. This last time is just more proof to that, I just have to not watch some people, not care for them or look after them. They'd never do the same for me, anyway.

You say, you want something the produces results? Then actually be open to something that's real instead of surrounding yourself with people who don't know what you're going through, with people who want you around for the wrong reasons and grow up.

Care

I spent the past week and a half trying to be nice to people at work and trying to be all friendly and all that other silliness and I see it just means I get walked on. I am sick and tired of the people who I have had to deal with and what I have been stuck with doing. I have gone from doing my job to doing about three jobs and then getting told that I am "A waste of man hours". I have seen most of the good people leave because they realize its bullshit.

I was really depressed, stressed out and sick about a week ago, so I tried to use my two sick days to get off work. Not only did they not pay me for them like they were supposed to, they suspended me for three days which caused me to lose more money. Keep in mind this is all stuff I can't control.

Then I go back in there like a sap and act all nice a friendly, while people are get all rude with me like I am doing something wrong. This one asshole hates me just because I talk to some girl he likes and is not even dating...then he ends up in the hospital with some issue. They asked me to sign a card for him, I just told the girl, "I don't hate him, but it doesn't mean I care..."

And that's exactly what I meant to say. I'm really sick of being the only person who cares about others when no one even wants to return the favor.

Texas Responds to the World Court

To those who don't know, a Mexican national who helped to rape and brutally murder a young girl was killed just before midnight last night. The Mexican National who had been on Death Row for years tried to appeal by saying that he wasn't given a chance to appeal to his home country before the trial because he didn't know he had the right. I guess we put a new spin on the words "Ignorance of the Law is no excuse".

This is a message to rapists and murderers that sooner or later they get what they deserve. When Bush tried to intervene, because the man has been a pansy lately when it comes to foreign policy, the Supreme Court told him to step down and it wasn't in his jurisdiction. Likewise we showed how the World Court has no power over our constitution and Supreme Court...when we adopt a treaty its up to the Supreme Court to interpret it.

And while the World Court has nothing to do when it comes to millions killed over diamonds in Africa or the civil rights violations in China, they can't stand us killing murdering rapists. I think the State of Texas said it best in this personally addressed memo to the World Court.

When Hell Freezes Over

So I made a little wager with Chris from work today...turns out that he wanted to invite me to his birthday party despite the fact he was pretty sure I wouldn't come. Why? Because he's having it at a strip club...not even just that, but a full nude bar. I promptly said no...even when he said a girl I like might come.

He then told me that he was going to invite Max, who is currently on leave from the military. For those of you who don't know, Max is Tiffany's husband. And for those who don't know Tiffany...she still gets uptight when I say fuck. So you can imagine she wouldn't like the idea of her husband going to a strip club. When Chris said what he said next, I laughed.

He told me he's going to get Tiffany to come too.

I must have looked like a lunatic, I laughed so hard. So here's where the wager comes in. I told him if he gets Tiffany there, I'll come. I'm so confident in Tiffany's core morals that I will go to a strip club if she does. I still won't let anyone dance on me or anything (I might buy an eight dollar coke), but this is a large move for me. I've never set foot in a strip club and have no desire too. But I had to get in on this, just because its such an outlandish thing. Tiffany at a strip club...no, not going to happen.

Perhaps the saddest part of this story is the fact that if I am forced to go and that girl I like is there, no matter how many nude women are running around the room, I won't be able to take my eyes off of her.

Burn the Weather Man At the Stake

I don't believe this shit...they said last night on the news there would be nothing Tropical here for at least the next two days...then I go outside today for lunch and its raining. Now there's like a forty mile an hour wind whipping around outside my apartment...

Should we be able to fire these assholes down at the weather service when they mess up like this. I expected a quiet night at home drawing this picture and being lonely and now all of a sudden I am dealing with a thunderstorm warning and the neighbors kids crying about the bad weather...

I shouldn't have to take this kind of treatment, if this were freak storm...it would be one thing. But this is a named Tropical Storm. I mean, remember Hurricane Allison (yes I know it wasn't a Hurricane but saying that a Tropical Storm caused that much havoc is saddening)? That storm snuck up on us and completely washed this city out...twice. They didn't even see it until it was six in the morning the day it was hitting. We had a like four hour warning.

I am getting tired of this. How does the city with some of the worst weather get the worst weathermen?

Sick

So I was forced to leave work today on account of the fact that I was afraid I was going to throw up there. I came home, slept and laid around most of the afternoon. I talked to people here and there, but for the most part I just waited around. I think that only one person really worried enough to call and ask what was up. I kind of liked it that way. I'm allowed time to sit here like this and starve this sickness...it doesn't seem to be working yet.

There's been a lot going on this week. Right now though, I can't even bother to think about all of it. I just need to kind of step back and try to get some rest.

My Brother and Barack?

This is a little bit of a shocker that I received the other day.

Who's that? It's my older brother, Jeff and Barack Obama...not sure how he even got the chance to meet the guy, but I wish I had been there. I never get my picture taken with celebs...