Met a girl at a party the other night thought I don’t think I have the means to really chase after anyone right now. The Russian girl and I are pretty much done because she didn’t understand that I couldn’t drive seventy miles to come see her every day after I had been at work ten hours.
But enough of that, I got to debut the new camera at the party and Rickey was debuting his new costume. Here is how things turned out.
Carly was the first dog I had that was honestly my own. She was a puppy when we got her and her sister and she was always the adventurous one. She loved to climb and was friendlier and sweeter than her sister Tina.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog with more personality. There were her little quirks like loving to ride in golf cars or tractors or putting clothes in her own water bowl for whatever reason. She was just a really odd dog, but she was smart and loved and anyone who came over couldn’t help but play with her.
My mom called me Saturday to say Carly had died and we really didn’t go to find out how. But I knew I needed to bury her. I couldn’t touch her body I had to have a friend help me and I put her out back on top of a small hill (she liked to be up high). I think I feel a little silly because I miss her so much and its embarrassing I guess but I don’t care, I really loved her and she was just a great dog. I went out with friends Saturday night to help me not think about it but its bothering me and it will for a while. I really, honestly loved Carly and people might find it stupid to say that because they think she was just an animal or she probably didn’t understand love.
But Carly had a way of acting like she understood. Back when Tina died years ago she was so sad and she wouldn’t go outside in the dark alone for about a year and a half because that was where something got Tina. If you said Tina even years later she would just look at you. And when I was down she would come and just cuddle up and there’s some comfort in that. So here’s to Carly, you’ll be missed girl.
I went ahead and purchased an iPOD and a Canon SLR camera, both things I have wanted for a long while now. The thing is that I want to get back into photography and that was what held me back, lack of a real camera. So expect this place to become more laden with photos. Except pretty girls, couples, kids laughing, beaches, shitty sunsets, very little of my stupid face and a lot of new stories.
I’ve lined up some friends to help me in the form of models…lets see how this works out.
I’m in and out of the house it seems like a lot more lately. I think that part of it was not having a computer to anchor me here for that little bit of time but I think there’s something to be said about the other things I’ve been trying to do now.
The whole dating thing is okay, that’s the only word I can use for it. Okay. I mean it occupies time but I can tell as of right now my heart’s not in it and the only girls I seem to be able to fall head over heels for are the ones I know right off the bat I can’t have.
For the weekend I stopped writing because I was just stressed and didn’t feel in the mood to deal with tearing my own work apart and dissecting the subtle nuances of something I wrote. I need to get back into the swing. I need to come out with my hands up and knock this one out of the park because its all I can do.
Work’s taking a toll on me though. I used to be able to maintain a pleasant demeanor through anything but people seem so careless and there’s no end to their difficult nature. They want you to help them but don’t want to listen or do anything. They want the problem fixed but hate the solution no matter how simplistic…
I’ve run out of false sympathy for people who can’t get a remote to work because they’re too dumb to follow instructions.
This is just an update, just a little bit about how I’ve been. So I guess that’s that.
Well my computer, jokingly named Monica, finally kicked the bucket about a week ago. If you’re wondering what I am typing this on…let’s just say its her younger, hotter, faster sister. Though as of yet she doesn’t have a name yet.
Luckily I retained my files and monitor (I have two of them side by side now) and this new computer is actually pretty fast. Only issue is my old hard drive locked some of my files to protect them and I can’t get at some of the pictures and videos.
This also slowed my editing process down a lot. I printed out the first copy of my novel a while back, the most expensive copy anyone will probably every buy of it. (It cost me 30$)
It was done at Kinkos/Fed Ex and its basically a spiral notebook with fancy paper my novel is printed on. I actually think this will be my new editing tradition. As of right now, I’m at page 125/199 so I’ve made good progress!
Around this time of year I always feel renewed and just so alive. Its because of the cold, I know. I work in reverse. If I have seasonal depression it’s the sun and the heat that take their emotional toll on me. I feel like a new man when the mercury dips below sixty for that first time and the whole world feels like magic.
The date is tomorrow and I’m excited. We talked on the phone some tonight and I feel like if I can pull this off then I can make it through another week of Hell at work.
Sorry, but my job feels so meaningless. Like I’m doing the same thing, solving the same problems and I can look right there and see the person has been calling because they keep causing the problem and even if they never call again I will get the same problems over and over.
I’m good at my job dammit, but there’s not much to be good at. I can do most things without the aid of the steps and scripts and that frees me up for working on plotting out writing and occasionally reading. Things will get better. I know it.
I met a girl.
She’s twenty-two and moved here from Russia about two years ago and she seems really nice. There’s a slight language barrier but its not enough to keep me from talking to her and its definitely not enough to over shadow the fact that she’s pretty and sweet.
With my latest ventures in relationships being kind of failures every since the break up…whenever that happened. I don’t remember all that well, but since then I’ve had a hard time attracting the right kind of girls until now.
Sometimes I worry that I don’t care enough about certain things. When I was broken up with, I went home and played games and talked to my best friend, I even forgot to tell him at first. Some of you still don’t know because I didn’t bother to make it a big deal. I have a better memory when I last talked to Maddy than when I broke up and I guess its just because my friends who I have known a while mean more to me.
But then when someone hears that, they feel like I’m in the wrong for not being all sad and getting down on myself. I didn’t get mad at the girl or try and fight to keep her. I just said okay, its fine. And that was it. I wonder how I would have reacted four years ago?
This new girl seems really cool and I’m going to the zoo with her Sunday. Her idea, you all know how I hate being outside and animals larger than myself.
In other news I think I might assemble a review blog, find people to help me review stuff and use it to get my opinions out there. I wish I had thought of this before this season of Doctor Who, so now I’ll be stuck reviewing American TV…oh well.
