San Antonio

I went there for a wedding this past week and it just already feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, or at least it did. Then I come back to the real world and I just feel like here I don't want anything to do with most of the people and like there's nothing new or interesting or fun here for me to do. I want to move back but I don't even know where to begin.

Care?

I never knew how little I cared until I thought back on all of the things you put me through and I thought back to the times where I bent over backwards to really make you notice me. I have to blame myself for some of it, because I could have, should have stopped. But I think some of the blame rests with you for your own actions.

Someone Get All These Damn Kids Off The Internet

Maybe six years ago it seemed like the internet was a more mature place, I could get on and have intelligent discussion with other. The first thing that an immature person seems to want to do is try and make you see they are mature by talking about sex, how they have sex and how sex is the best thing ever, especially when sex is handled in an immature way. That's what seems to fit the entire thing that I see going on right now. As it stands right now there are some people who I think should be left on an island to perish.

If you can't consider the feelings of others when you engage in relationships, why do we need you?

Funeral

There's a funeral for a family member this weekend, its someone I barely know and they were very old. I didn't talk to them ever and I usually avoided them because I didn't like going to the town they lived in. Now it seems my Dad is mad at me because he thinks I should go. I hate funerals, I hate going to them especially when I don't know the person involved and it makes me feel awkward because I don't have anything comforting to say to anyone to help them out and I don't think things will be helped by me being there. I'm not a comforting person, not in the least and I don't see how I could be when the people who's family member it is seem so bent on not liking me. You see, I'm not directly related to the person who died.

He's related to someone who married into our family and I just can't go to a funeral for someone I don't know because it just seems like a chance for something to go wrong. Hell I remember when I was at my brother's funeral I wondered to myself "why are some of these people here, they never semed to care when he was alive, so why fake it now". I don't think that makes me an asshole or anything, I just think that makes me truthful.