So far here are the names that I will use to describe people; Auska, Darius, The Hutt, Shinji, Rei, The Minstrel, Kramer, Barbie, Marisa, Gluttony, The Director and Cait Sith. I’m not going to do anything assheaded like go back and change the names of every one in every post, if you can tell where these names came from and you know the person they apply to then it shouldn’t be too hard to figure it out.
I mean some of them are obvious at times, but this is what it has come to, it has come to me turning things inside out, and I’m not even sure I will keep them this way. It might be too much extra work.
Now on to you’re scheduled blog entry, already in progress…
Have you ever heard a song dozens of times, and then because of the recent events that you have been in, you finally really hear that song as if you’re hearing it for the first time?
Well I did that with “Play Crack The Sky” by Brand New. I mean this lyrics so apply to my in some ways. From the very start I think ‘this is what its like to have these feelings’. I mean look at this.
We sent out the s.o.s. call.
It was a quarter past four in the morning when the storm broke our second anchor line.
Four months at sea, four months of calm seas to be pounded in the shallows off the tip Of montauk point.
They call them rogues; they travel fast and alone--
One-hundred-foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong.
What they call love is a risk, 'cause you'll always get hit out of nowhere by some wave
And end up on your own.
Is life really about risk like this, is this what’s really happening when you start to fall for someone.? How many emotions can claim to have the power of this one, how many can just over take you’re life and sink everything you know.
Hit out of nowhere… Amanda talked about this the other day, she said that she was hit out of nowhere when this guy opened the door for her, she said that she was just slipping into love and it continued for the rest of the night.
Is that kind of loss of control a good thing? Do we like it? Can we take it? When you like to be in control would you want to be like a small ship at the mercy of a large ocean?
A hole in the hull defied the crew's attempts to bail us out.
It flooded the engine and radio and half-buried bow.
Your tongue is a rudder.
It steers the whole ship, sends your words past your lips, or keeps them safe behind your Teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you, come off-course while you sleep, sweep your boat
Out to sea or dashed to bits on the reef.
The vessel groans; the ocean pressures its frame.
To the port I see the lighthouse through the sleet and the rain.
And I wish for one more day to give my love and repay debts, but the morning finds our Bodies washed up thirty miles west.
They say that the captain stays fast with the ship through still and storm.
But this ain't the Dakota; the water's cold. (so cold.)
Won't have to fight for long.
Can you really fight against who you fall for? Can you really just stop yourself from ending up like this ship, going down with a crew that’s fighting to keep you afloat. Does our tongue really hide words safely behind our teeth. Our tongue can sink or save the ship, just like the rudder, can’t it. It can steer us right into someone’s heart or it can dash you on the coastline of some forgotten isle and leave you stranded.
If you do try to resist the feels just pressure your hull until you can no longer take it. Its hard to resist for too long. And the Captain stays with the ship as it goes down, the band plays on—but this isn’t the Dakota, this ship won’t come home battle scared, but ready to fight another day. This is the ships last voyage. And its hard to tell if it was for the best or the worst.
It’s hard to tell if you really needed to just give up and let it go down, or if you needed to fight against the current. Sometimes life is just as bad as can be and it pulls you in any way it sees fit. Sometimes love is more dangerous than Quicksand, it will pull you under and the more you struggle the faster you sink, the faster you realize that the struggle was in vain, because you really wanted to sink in the first place. And you only struggled to speed up the process.
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