A Woman Far Away...

Got up early, I know for anyone who knows me

personally that's hard to believe. But I guess

going to be early does help the process a lot. Kind

of hard to see how I got up with the way my backs

been hurting after I moved all my stuff. I'm

reeling from a dream I had last night, I just think

dreams I have are almost always sure to be

crazy.

So this dream last night, what did it invovle?

Well it started out with going to Austin to see

Marisa, that's always good. I mean I have yet to do

it and I am sure that the first time will be odd

and a little bit awkward.

I mean last time I saw this girl I told

her how much I liked her well it

wasn't the last time, and I didn't exactly go into

how much I liked her. The thing is that some

girls seem to work on this system that things have

to sink in.

I know that Marisa works like this, she has

proven this to me on several occasions. One of the

most easily remembered is when she was cleaning up

her room and I let her borrow my mop, when I was

over there watching her clean I just started

mopping.

I mopped her whole floor three times over, once

with water, once with bleach, and again with the

water. She was getting sleepy by the time I

finished so I just left when I was done.

The next day she called me up randomly and all

she said was, You mopped my floor. I was

just replied Yeah. She repeated it again,

and I replied Yeah, Marisa, I mopped your

floor. She seeemed to be in shock despite the

fact it had happened over twelve hours before.

I was kind of surprised that it had that effect

on her, so what I'm afraid of is what happened in

my dream. The rest of the dream is, well I

go to Austin...

As I've probably mentioned I hate and

despise the city of Austin. It is so, just

wrong. So here I am in this city I told her I hated, and I also told her before she left that the only reason for me to be there is to see her. When I see her the reaction is not what I expected.

She's shocked at the fact I like her, she's shocked that I feel like I feel about her. But of course the reaction to what I told her has taken more than a meager twelve hours.

I guess this shouldn't scare me, but it does, things catching me off guard scare me. I hope that some day I do get a chance with Marisa, I don't know how—women seem so distant. And just like was said in one of my favorite show, the Japanese symbol used for she means a woman far away.

No matter what, women will always seem to be so far away. They'll always seem to be on a distant shore seperated by a wide Gulf...Marisa, while closer than most women, more mature than most girls of our age at the same time, is still a woman, still way out there.Guess I better find a boat or learn the breath—stroke...I'm not going to let this go. This is just something I feel strongly about.