What do you do when you can't get someone out of your head, when every second thought in your head is on that person and you know that you'll not be able to shake it. When I woke up this morning I really thought that I would be able to get out of going through this by default, maybe she would have plans, maybe I would get cancer...who knows what would have come along to save me.
Here's the thing, I would usually sit down here and just let my mind flow, but after tonight, after Starbucks and the Friday's I just have one thing flowing from my mind, and it is going to drive me insane if I don't get it out. Rught now all I want to do is tell her how I feel, how I would like to be there for her and help her through everything.
It's just why does it have to be so hard?
I want to just sit here and try to relay how I think; I really don't think I can get a girl like this, I really don't think I deserve it. I know that in my mind if I could just reach out I could try my hardest to balance everything. Because that's one thing that I think I can really do. Then I want to know how do I tell her, I know she's not every other girl, and she's not the same kind of girl who has walked off from me in the past when I just uttered anything about how I liked them.
I really want this, but I am starting to wonder if there is any way to do it, how would I go about it. There are just so many things to wonder about and I can't sort them out to make a coherent thought. I just need time to gather my mind and think things through and weave these thoughts into something solid.
I have so much of this in my head right now, not to mention that there are things in there having to do with school, money, and just general friend issues. I know after the things that got revealed and done this break that life here will never be the same.
So later on I want to call her and tell her, I want her to know. And this day will roll on like the others. And maybe just maybe my mind will let me rest.
2 comments:
so, did you call...?
Who is this?
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