The Healthy Medium

I’m sorry but this post was forced, I don’t know what to say here because anything I say could be read and taken to mean several different versions of one thing. I’ve been struggling with a problem of identity lately, I’ve wondered if I was going to be able to act like I used to, to say things with total disregard for what others were going to respond with.

I’ve been walked on too much, and while I will say there are people who are going to be immune to me saying a damn thing to them, most of them will not be. When it comes around next time, when someone takes a shot at me again the gloves come off. I can’t let how I feel get in the way of me being who I was, in that there are times people need to be told off, its become expected of me and that’s not why I’m doing it.

I’m doing it because I seemed to have things easier when I never backed down, when I stood my ground in arguments and when I let it be known that there were people who could fuck with me, but most people can’t.

I know that just days ago I was saying about how the new nicer me was fine, but at the same time I am seeing that its not as okay as I thought. People take kindness and self control as weakness. I'm tired of being taken advantage of. This is that healthy medium, right between total asshole and nice guy, I'll only act when it needs to be done, but there won't be anymore of this not acting.

Feelings will get hurt, but they’ll only belong to those people who I think deserve it.