The Last Curtain Call

After today I can forget this past month and write it off as just one of those times when everything seems to be wrong. Nothing can explain what was going on throughout the month of February and I doubt anything really can. Maybe there was just a lot of things going on for so many different people and with the weather way it was, overcast and dreary, people just had an excuse to be a little upset.

I don’t think I’ve ever had an enjoyable February. I guess that’s because there’s really nothing going on in there that’s fun or cool to me. I don’t really like Valentines Day, in fact I think its one of the worst holidays right up there next to Thanksgiving. But that might have something to do with my normal state of affairs around that time of year. All I really know is that I just don’t like how this month seems to go. There are some good times spread out over it all, but for the most part, its just bad.

Now, I don’t like to dwell on things like that too long, so I’ll have to move on. I’ve noticed something about myself lately and I don’t know if it’s a conscious effort on my part, or just something that happened, but I seem to be a lot nicer than I was last semester.

I’m not sure what brought about the change, there are a few running theories, one of them proposed by Nicole and the other by Rickey. And while they both could hold some water, the only one I want to validate is Nicole’s.

All and all, its apparent that I am nicer now than I was at the beginning of this semester and all of the last. Now I’ve made my peace with Lauren, Hannah, Shana and Eddie, because their not bad people. I mean, there’s flaws in us all.

But then there are those who try to exploit those flaws just for the sake of starting shit. The other night is a prime example. I basically got called on wanting to be the center of attention. Well anyone who knows me I hate any kind of attention being on me, well except one kind. But that’s a story for another day.

Last semester I wrote a post called The Greatest Show On Earth, the contents of which talked about how Rickey, Eddie and some of the others said that I had total control over what the conversation was doing at the dinner table. I denied this up and down, left and right, a, b and START. But in all truth, they are right. I used to be able to do that.

Now, I have to say that at the same time, I don’t like that kind of thing, so maybe that’s what has caused me to back up from that whole persona. I mean, I was pretty rude, and it did get a lot of reaction.

So maybe I naturally shied away from that. I mean I don’t want to be that guy, I want to be normal, liked, I want to just blend in and not have to worry about getting noticed too much.

So when someone who shall remain nameless calls me on wanting to be the center of attention and then pulls another little stunt to push my buttons I have to just try and cool myself down. After all, this is the new, improved nicer me. And lo and behold, I kept my cool, didn’t blow my top and barely even responded to it. Of course if I had responded I was sure to believe that it wouldn’t be nice and that it would probably hurt some feeling so I left it alone.

To tell the truth I was actually proud of myself for that, I didn’t have to curse someone out or even make a rude statement about them. All and all, a good thing.

I need to hit the Wal-Mart, my new HDD awaits!