In an odd change of events, I had more time to sit and think about what was going on around me today. I was supposed to meet Allison for coffee at seven o' clock, I called her at seven AM, not knowing that she meant PM. After a very drowsy Allison explained to me the way that time worked, and that there was two sevens and there was one of them she was never up for, I fell asleep.
I woke up around, oh I'd say about eleven thirty, the sun was peaking through a crack in the blinds and I knew that it was time for me to start moving. I got out of the bed, and went straight to the computer to talk to Juliet and take a quiz in History.
The quiz turned out to be total crap, I sat there staring at the screen for what seemed like an eternity. I wondered about how I was every going to be able to do anything in my final exams. I just think I suck at tests. As I glared at the test Ricky called, he wanted to go to eat at the University Center. If I had a choice of where to go I would have been like, "Fuck that..." but you know, its hard to pick a place to go when you have no money, no car and no real need to get off school grounds.
I told him to wait up, there was the quiz I needed to take.
Well he showed up here, I forget the exact details, but stuff happened and we ran into Brandon, Eddie, Shana, Matt and this ctue girl that Shana knew. We spent most of the rest of the afternoon watching Linkin Park and Jay-Z. Evan was there for the first few moments of the DVD, but he hates rap and Linkin Park, so he quickly aborted the attempt to watch it.
Eddie really gets into the musical stuff, so he was really enjoying the DVD, thats the vibe I got off him when we were all watching it. Well somewhere in there, the things I wrote about Usher came up, well I have to say this, I still feel the same. And I will go as far as to say that even though Jay-Z and many other rappers talk about cheating they don't try to justify it...they just say stuff like yeah I did it because I did it. Not let me whine about it and maybe you'll take me back.
If the girl wants to take a guy back that's her business, it just takes a very strong woman to do that or a very weak one. But there's no good reason to cheat, so don't try to justify it.
Anyway, I think I've gone off on that tangent far too much. Allison and I never got to have the coffee, so I ended up at dinner just feeling a little weird, I was so quiet the whole time people kept askign what was going on and stuff. I don't particularly like getting that question, and yet I feel compelled to ask it sometimes. Its just one of those things you can say if there's nothing else you can say to a person. Like a conversaton opener when you already know there's a problem and in some cases know the nature of it.
On the way to dinner I had a very odd feeling, it was like running some kind of guantlet of people that I knew, I ran into Casey and Chanele, then Megan and Jamie, and then Desiree and Brent--all of them in pairs (well Brent walked up to me and Des when we were talking.) Its fun to know so many people, especially considering I couldn't claim to even have more than a hand full of friends that were men back home. Here I've got Evan, Eddie, Ricky, Brent and yes, even Brandon.
I have trouble being friends with guys because the second they make some heartless comment I'm on them like a fat kid on a donut. I go off when guys say something that I disagree with, like when I have to hear someone complain about something their girlfriend yelling at them for some shit they shouldn't have done. No you're right, she shouldn't have yelled at you, she should have stabbed you.
Well if I had a segment for cool things that happened I would have to say that one stands out in my mind, after dinner, we were supposed to watch Evangelion, but we had to go to the store first because...well snacks!
On the way back from the car to the dorm, Eddie made the comment that the table is like a circus and he's not part of it. I thought that it was cool and decided to elaborate on the idea, I mentioned that there was no ringmaster.
Then out of the blue Ricky, Eddie and Brent decide that I am the Ringmaster, don't ask how that works, I've never had charge of anything in my life. And I feel less than commanding considering how bad I seem to have it for this girl, and how I have undoubtly taken on more than I can chew.
I will say this much, I have the power to push Lauren's buttons effectively, and to exert force through threats of throwing food. Even if Lauren were to attack me like she does Evan so often, she wouldn't get much, because I can defend against any girl that sits at our table at any given time, or any girl that ever has. I know what their weak against....with the exception of two....Desiree, because she's basically my weakness, and Casey because she, like the Legendary Solid Snake, fights as if possessed by a devil.
To tell the truth, I don't want to be in charge...I mean who wants to be the Ringmaster of Bitchiling Brothers Three Table Circus? I know...not me. Well I have to get on. Need to try and get to bed, I actually feel tired now!
I'm out....
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