Home

I realize now that this place doesn’t really feel like home, its hard to explain but I got a feeling just last night. A feeling I haven’t had in this place in a while, the feeling was short lived at best but it felt so good. I was sitting talking with Desiree on the couch, and I kept thinking in my head, this is what home should be like; this is what it’s supposed to be.

It’s not just her, I realize I don’t stay home much because it doesn’t feel like home, this dorm doesn’t, my house at home doesn’t. I feel more at home in my friend’s dorms than I ever do when I’m here. Home shouldn’t be me in this tiny room at the computer, over a book or in the bed. Home feels better when its me, Casey and Chanele talking on their couch, when me and Ricky are playing a game. Home for me is when I can sit and talk with Eddie about music, or Brent about Anime. It feels like Home when I’m swapping stories with Desiree.

I don’t know why this place can’t be home, I don’t know what it is about here. All this dorm seems to convey is loneliness, a sense of extreme loneliness. I went to dinner last night, surrounded by friends, ten of them I can call close friends probably—even though some of them may get on my nerves from time to time, I can’t call them much else besides friends.

I talked to Eddie about this the other day, I think he was shocked that I would say all of this. I guess I go deeper than I thought, it all just came out when I started talking, I have a knack for that.