Sometimes we get the liberty of falling asleep to dream or think of things, we may lay there for any amount of time and just think back on several events. Tonight I wasn't given that liberty. I was made to come home and just reflect on everything, only to notice how I feel about so many things. I need to do some serious searching for what it is I want, when it pretains to everything. And sometimes, like right now, what I really want I don't even really want to say, because I am still too scared of what might come out.
Other times, what I really want just seems to far out of reach. So what can I really do about all of this? That's what has been on my mind almost constantly for the longest time now, and I am seeking a way just to survive all of this. I don't know any other way to be. Things are getting harder and harder it seems and it seems the more I look around there are more tests to face. Most of them I tend to see coming or somehow just be prepared for them. But not always and some of them catch me totally off guard.
I'm not sure what do or say now.
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