I feared her knowing how I felt so much, that I buried it deep inside, and it along with other things took their toll. Let me go on to say this right here and right now: if you think I am stupid for saying this or thinking this way then you shouldn't fucking be here because this wasn't meant for people like you. I'm not like you, I don't want the things that you want and I don't want you to think for a second that anything you say or do is going to change my mind.
With that having been said, I told her what happened to me straight up, but I didn't tell her any kind of ultimatim, I didn't try and bargin some meaningless friends with benifits relationship out of it. I just did what I needed to, I said what mattered, not for my sake, but for hers. I spent so long worrying about protecting her, and I really just want her to know that she is really great and that any guy would be a fool not to want her. That's what really caring about someone will make you feel. She needs to know, even if that means she's going to hate me for it, I know she won't but the last girl did and you know, she totally wasn't worth my time.
I told her the truth about the other dates I went on, the shitty way they all ended up and the way that through it all I thought about her. I am certain this isn't going to turn into us dating or anything like that, but I had to let her know for my sake and hers when I think back on it. I had to be truthful most of all. And how do you know anything if you never try?
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