My Precious People

I am starting to think Shirin is right, I don't quite understand it yet, but Sandra thinks I'm somehting special. And I don't even get it really. I don't think I ever have been anything special to anyone. I like it, I like someone who thinks of me in a good way and I like having someone just happy to hear from me. I feel like I've been useless before now, I mean I have wasted so much time on pointless ndeavors, things that meant nothing.

I wish I could say that I have done great things, I wish I could really say that with truth and mean it. But I haven't, I write, I draw, and I do both of those things alright. But I would like to think there are times where I have a power, not a power that you can see in strenght or anything, but a power to really help someone out who needs it deep down, not all of the time, but I have it when its need most, when it counts. Problem is I never have help myslef, I never have anyone there to make sure that me looking after others doesn't take its toll.

I think I have that sort of now, I have other people who care for me. And I care for them, its not just Sandra, there are others, and then there are those of you who have been there all along, PJ, John, you know who you are. I think that in a way stories can teach us so much, and in a story I am thinking of a certain main character tells a foe where his strneght comes from, it comes from the precious people I protect. As long as you have someone to look out for, someone who will look out for you in a pinch, it will be okay.

My parents called the other day and I told them about the trouble I was having here, and what I wanted to do, I told them how scared I was they told me that I will make it, many young people have the same problems I am having and I just need to do what I have to do, and I know inside what I have to do. Yeah I do, I really do and I have been afraid to admit it all along. I still don't think I'm quite so smart. But maybe I will be proven wrong. Maybe my old man is right and maybe no one here gives their 100%, but I know there are things in the future I want that would dictate I do give my all.

There are things that I want for myself, for my family that mean I will have to do the best. That's my Reason Why, I know the future is a scary thing, and its an unsure thing. None of us are promised tomorrow. None of us are promised the next second. But if we all thought and took that the wrong way, if we all figured that we might not be here instead of trying to see what we can prepare for. Shouldn't we also think that None of us were promised right now...and here we are.