Hopeless

Everyone is walking around trying to tell me things like I have no reason to feel bad, like things are just as good as they were before, the last week or the week before. I'm sorry to say it but you're wrong. Right now I feel like life is over because everything I ever put any hope into falls apart for me.

I am done hoping, I am done trying to wist that things would go the way I want them to, because they don't. You can pray or be good all you want but it doesn't work that way. I'm living proof that you don't get what you put into something back. If you get anything back at all, consider yourself lucky.

I feel like in life it might just be in your best interest to quit while you can, just to get out. Hope is something that we were all taught was real and taught to believe in. Hope is only as real as stupid things like karma or luck. And I gave up on those things a long time ago.

This blog was about hope, I blieved that I had to be strong because someday I would meet someone that I would spend the rest of my life with and I could share this with them, I could have imporved and all of this would be a joke for us to laugh at. I also used this as my reason for trying to improve, I wanted to be ready for when that happened. Now I know that's not going to happen.

I need to let go of hope because holding onto something false never helped anyone. We're even told not to hold onto false hope well I am here to say, all hope is false.

That makes the entire last year and a half of writing in this thing false.