I am so pissed right now that words can't even begin to describe it, I've been trying to be nice and trying to be pleasant this week but everyone seems hell bent on making me as mad as possible. Th reason why I'm so pissed is because I was supposed to move into my dorm between Friday Afternoon and Sunday night, but my mom has decided she wants to go up there Thursday, because she has to go to work Saturday. First off, I don't want her going up with me anyway, I can hardly stand to be around her, why the hell would I want to spend four hours in a car with her.
Second, I can take myself, its not like its something I can't do, she has to act like I'm incompetent or something, or like she's going to miss me so much while I'm gone. I could care less if she wants to send me off to school, because I don't need her help to do it, and its not even like she's really my mom. I can go on my own just fine, I know my way and I think I can move myself in.
Third of all, how come everytime it comes down to something important its always about what's important for her, I mean God forbid we inconvinence my step-mom, that would be a travesty, a heresy! This all goes back to the many times when I had a little bit of a moment in the limelight and my mom decides that what she wants is more important, or what someone else wants. Case in point, my graduation party where my mom decided she wanted to scheldule it on the day she wanted, a day when only one of my friends could come, but all my mom worried about was family who doesn't even like me and talks about me behind my bac. So I had to sit there with no one to talk to but Alexis because she was all that could make it.
Another example, my seventeenth birhtday when my mom threw a graduation party (in March, mind you) for my cousin Michael, which I had to clean up and help prepare for. She had the whole family here helping and invited 50+ people, alot of them his friends that seemed a little shady. Then when I asked to have a birthday party with ten friends she refused it until I begged, then when I finally got to have it I had to pay for food out of my own money and clean up the whole house myself!
I think I've proved my point there, I can't really think of much else that would help better than those two examples. But here's just a few more things my step-mom loves to say and do:
- That I'm sleeping with all of these girls, girls who I've never had a relationship with.
- That All I do is lie, and that no matter what she says, she's always right.
- She once left my diabetic father outside in a car with no battery, food or his medicine for three hours in Georgia because she wanted to take my nephew bowling, even though she had told us she would meet us back at her little apartment (this was when she was at the army base there). Whe we had asked for the key before we left, she refused to give it to use telling us she would meet us there, assuring us. When he got there he didn't have his medicine he's suppose to take after eating and he got sick. Her cell phone was in her purse, when asked why she didn't answer, she said she didn't feel like it. My dad, by the way got sick for a while.
- I've heard her call me fat, I've heard her talk badly about my sister in law (whom is a sweet woman by the way) and I've heard her talk badly about my friends. Once she accused me of drug use because she found gun powder I was playing with and though it was weed...how dumb does that sound?
I've decided that I just won't deal with her, I won't call, I won't come all the way home Thanksgiving, I can stay at PJs or Jeffs, and I'll show her that I'm not just some little tool to use to cause family gatherings where she can show off the kid she "raised". I can play dirty just as good as anyone and she's not going to just walk all over me like she does my dad.
I have to go, I'm too fucking pissed to end this like I normally do.
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