There's too much for me to say that I can't say, but there are a lot of things going on that I don't agree on. I can't say them, I can't tell anyone because I have been sworn to keep all of this inside, and I hate keeping things inside. I like at the issues there, I see them all around me and I have to bite my tongue. When is it too late to bite your tongue? When have your looks spoken the words that your teeth won't allow your tongue to form?
In the back of my mind there is so much going on. I went out earlier tonight, I went to the Shisha place with Brandon and all of them, it was earlier than we normally go and the place was empty. By the time we got back I just felt like talking to Sandra for a while, but my fucking stomach told me otherwise. I felt like if I didn't eat there would be a repeat preformance of the other day when I went home and threw up twice on the way back because of the medication.
They say on a full stomach for a reason, if you take it any other way it will destroy you! I am serious kids. So tomorrow the plan is as follows, I want to be out of here by around four o' clock and I want to be on the road. Acompanying Neemo and I on this little excursion will be Brandon. Almost everyone else that we tried to bring couldn't come or backed out on us.
This all promises to be fun and great and stuff, but in the back of my mind I hope we can get the money together by then, the money I was supposed to get didn't come yet this week, so I will be checking for it before I leave tomorrow. And I really want to go home, not just so Neemo can see Shirin, but I want to see Sandra, and stop and help my mom get the rest of this stuff put in the attic, I just feel like I need to do that and I want her to meet Brandon and Neemo, she seems to think all of my friends with the exception of PJ and John are pompus assholes and I want to show her that's not true. That I have good friends like Neemo and Brandon.
I have always held to the fact that since I have been here I think that the most decent people I have met at this school have been Neemo and Brandon I said this because of the fact that I am so critical of the way people act towards others. This is the main reason thatI want nothing to do with the group that plays games over there, not just because of how they play, but because they don't make things fun. Fun to me means that everyone has to have fun. If you're being overly mean to others in an unplayful way, I don't want to deal with you. And if you think that fun requires we always be parked in front of the television I do not want to deal with it.
I want to put this up, I think I'm growing as a person. A while ago I would have just stayed there with those people, I would have put up with their shit and I would have toughed it out and thought about being a man. I think being a man includes knowing when to walk away, and I think it includes knowing that it's just a game guys. Knowing that real life with real people is what matters. I think I want to just be able to talk and hang out with people. Hanging out with Brandon, Tarin and Frank tonight showed me that, I had the most fun that I have had in a long time. I want things to be like that more often.
I know that they can't be that way all of the time, but sometimes its nice to have people to talk to, people where everything is not about games and anime. I mean I like those things, but I think sometimes we alienate others by talking about them. Its okay to do that when the group is people who are taken to that kind of thing, gamers, anime watchers. Or people who enjoy either to a point. But when its us in a big group of people who have no interest in those things, its best to try and steer the conversation away from that type of thing.
Steps down off of his soap box.
I don't know what got into me there, I kind of took it upon myself to get a little preachy, but the point is, I need to expand my interests in things, or at least explore my other interests a little more. I think it just counts to be a well rounded person.
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