I have noticed more and more when I fail to take my medication that I am just not in the mood for certain people, I don't know if that means there's a problem with me or the other people. It's like I don't have any desire to sit around and play games with these people if I am not going to be having fun. I have no want to go out of my way to please others. Are these really bad things? Sometimes I wonder just what the hell these things actually do.
Yesterday I got into a weird mood, I just didn't want to be around some people and I realized how much that these people annoy me, utterly. I realized that I didn't want to talk to some people and I realized that I didn't even want to deal with their shit anymore. I wasn't sad about it, I might have been a little mad but that was it. I'm at that point where I don't know what I want to do. I'm tired of always being the last person that anyone thinks to call or do anything with, this is why I don't generally go anywhere with people.
It's been decided that htis week I don't go anywhere I don't want to, I don't do things I am tried of doing just to make others happy. I don't really want to do it anymore. Things I did to fit in and because I wasn't sure, no more of that. It doesn't matter in the long run.
So now I am about to head to bed and there's a lot on my mind. But I don't need to have to worry about what other people want me to do.
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