I understand it now, I really do, I hate being here. I don't know how else I can describe it, its lonely, even lonelier than at home because I have to look at everyone else having fun, then I have to deal with getting let down every fucking time that I think that something is going to go right. I stayed here not because I wanted to but because I can't afford to drive back to Hosuton, hell I can't afford to drive around town. My parents saw to that when they neglected to send my money last week.
So now I'm stuck here and I could think of things I would like to do but I don't have the money to do any of them and I can think of places I'd rather be but fat chance of that happening either. The only fucking thing that I wanted to do, that I looked forward to was going to Louisanna this week and that was because Heather was going to come, but she backed out because of all this stuff and now I'll be stuck going somewhere that I hate with my dad whom I don't feel like spending over six hours in a car with.
I hate having to be stuck here bored all of the time, and the fact that no one ever wants to go do a damn thing when they are here or they create excuses why they can't. I want to wait for this person to get back,
We need at least one more person to do that
It's too late.
Fuck this place, it's not like I had this much trouble finding things to do when I was back in Houston, at least between school and friends I had something to do most weekends. Now I'm lucky if I go two places a week.
I'm done fucking around with people and waiting on them to do things, I don't have them there when I need them and I can't even get people to go along anywhere with me. I've been blown off so many times in the last week that its not even funny. I hate being in town here, theres no one to do anything with and no one really here and when they are here they still don't want to do anything. Fuck this.
1 comment:
Hey... I've been so wrapped up in my own stupid problems that i've caused... i haven't even read your page in a while. I'm sorry things are going so downhill for you, too... i know that i defend robert against a lot of the things you say about him, but i still appreciate your opinion and advice... overall it's just really nice to hear someone say they don't think i'm a bad person, or a b*tch like he's called me... but it really does suck to be akward with people... i'm quite akward myself. i don't like guys being interested in me, but i love attention... i don't like talking and i hate the phone, but i love listening and i love a conversation... i hate being in crowds, but i love being in the middle of mosh pits (when the crowd beats you up and you beat them up too)... i hate pain and sadness, but i'm not whole without love (which causes most of those things)... i think i'm going to stick this on facebook, actually...
anyway, i don't know what i'm doing for spring break, but it might be going to south padre island with some friends... if it ends up that way and your spring break coincides and you have the free time... maybe we could swing by and you might want to come along? i don't know... i'm still not sure if it's a definate... no one seems to be doing anything or their spring break doesn't match mine. i figure you could use something fun, too... but don't let it stop you from making plans, cause this is going to be one of those last minute if a bunch of people have nothing to do but want to do something kind of things.
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