I've got work to do and in the back of my mind there is so much going on. I'd hate to say that as I sit here and write this I can barely keep a handle on what I am doing, something seems to be missing. Something so important seems to be missing. How am I supposed to know what's going on when I can't even figure out what I need?
Things have been less than favorable around here for me, aside from getting yelled at by parents and being treated like I am doing something wrong when there really isn't anything that I am doing. It hurts to know that you're not trusted at all, and it hurts even more to know that you can be cast aside. I don't think I have ever been important to the people I felt were most important to me. Maybe that's why I hate myself so much, because the people I hold in highest regard don't like me either. What do you call that?
Maybe I'll get lucky and some friend will step up and stick with me, maybe I'll meet someone that I can really just trust to be there for me, but until then. I have to learn to keep everyone out, lock everyone out and stay safe, and that's hard to do.
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