I don't know what to say about today except that I am really tired of being treated like a fucking child, realy bad stuff happened today, and my parents decided that I had to move back home. Like I said, I hate being home, even more so, I hate being treated as if I am some kind of kid. After finding all of this out I called Heather, because I figured that if anyone could cheer me up it was her.
Well she invied me to church, and normally I would decline, but I went. I went because I really felt like I needed something tonight that sitting around here wouldn't get me. I needed to just be near people, but I didn't want to admit it. So I went with Heather, and I actually enjoyed it, she was right. It wasn't that long and not boring at all, which is how most people think of Church, but I never find churcn boring. I ran into Greg while I was there.
Gerg and I planned to go to hang out afterwards and did, we went out and hung out until about 12:30 and, not that late. My brother told me to be back here by 2:00, so when I came in at one I figured I was more than fine.
I came in and sat down here, I was planning on doing some writing after messing around on the net a bit, then my brother calls and gets onto me about how I had to get up early. Why the hell should I have to, I don't want to get up early, not only that, there is not a reason to. Then he goes on to tell me that I should be off the computer by 2:00.
Yeah I'm not a little fucking kid, I can judge when I am tired and need to get to bed. And one a night where I slept until noon, I think I can manage to stay up later. Especially when there's not shit to do later today. He talks to me longer and tells me fuck me and my reasons for not wanting to get up. My reason is that my old roommate works and will not be up at eight in the morning when my brother wants to go over there. There is no reason for this, I have most of the day to get that stuff and I don't need help.
My brother asked me what I accomplished today and I told him I was just drawing most of the day, what am I supposed to accomplish, I'm not in school, no one gave me shit to do, why do I have to keep busy with what he thinks is work all day? I mean I might feel like I am uselss, but I'm twenty and I don't need someone constantly bossing me around, especially when there is nothing to boss me around about.
I know Heather and some other people want me to stay here, I want to stay too, but I can't if everyone is going to treat me like this just for going against what they think is right. What they think is not right isn't right for me, I feel like I belong here in San Antonio, and there's no reason I can't get a job and live on my own.
But no one believes enough in me for that, not even me.
No comments:
Post a Comment