I can tell you this right now, if you're dating someone, talking to them, or anything, make sure that your intentions are well known before you decide to upgrade or downgrade the relationships. This means that you don't just expect them to understand you want more than there is now and you definitely don't just stop talking to them all together.
This happened to me recently, a girl decided that she didn't want to talk anymore. And really I am tired of it. You really try to take things at their pace, you try to be nice and care about them and they don't even give you the benefit of telling you that she is not feeling like this is the right thing. I don't even know how many times I have had girls tell me some off the wall story trying to make me feel better instead of just coming out and saying we shouldn't date anymore, or even what they are doing with you right then, isn't a date.
If you were asked out on a date by a guy, and you don't want to date anymore, just tell him. Don't try to let him down soft or whatever you want to call it. That's when things get complicated because a lot of the time what a woman calls letting a guy down soft is just her way of dodging the issue. If you didn't want to date the guy, then don't accept the offer, if you get on the date and realize its not right, then tell him.
This girl and I never got to go on a date, we actually met over myspace. So I never even got to meet her in person. But when we talked she seemed normal and interested. Problem was when that ran out, she just took off. It's not like I had invested much in it, I don't invest much in people these days let alone relationships. I just thought maybe she would actually be fair about things.
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