The Way We Were

I need to try to get back into using this thing, I've been so busy in my own thoughts and emotions that I really haven't had time to do anything else but think. I mean I do get a lot of drawing in, and I mean alot. It's practically all I have been doing. But I need to get back to how I used to be, I need to start writing again, I need to start going to bed and getting up on time. Today was one of those days where you just kind of did things because they were there to do.

I kind of wished that something would come along, that I would hear from someone maybe or that there would be some kind of real conflict. Life here has been boring and I'm tired of hearing the same old things over and over again. Really the highlight of my day was when Mandi returned my call and I got to talk to her.

She really is the only person that left here last year that I miss, she was like the only person I could go to for comfort after Allison left. Then Allison is leaving next year, which sucks because she really just got back and she is the last person I really trust around here.

I hope that I find someone else I can talk to and hang out with on that same level. Its hard to really take people seriously around here. People are so rude, so quick to forget things you've done for them and who you are. Talking to Mandi made me realize what I miss, having somewhere I could go and just sit and have someone to talk to. Someone that would talk about things going on with them and make me feel better no matter what. Allison kind of does that, but its hard to find her and she's hardly every home unless she's watching tv.

I think tomorrow unless its a very few certian people I will just not answer the phone. I really don't feel like dealing with others. It'd be best to just keep to myself and that's it. I'm starting to wonder if I am really meant to deal with people, I'm not good at it.