My Fall Cleaning

I took the time to sit down yesterday and take stock of all the numbers in the phone. Some of them might be people I haven’t called in years and some of them are good friends who I hear from almost daily.

It’s a tough thing to just delete someone out of your phone, it feels like deleting them out of your life. Some I’ve kept, despite their being wrong and in the case of my brother, though he’s dead I still like that his number is there in my phone. Call it foolish, but its the truth.

You can’t scroll through your phone and not dredge up some memories and sometimes even a few instances of “who is this?” here and there. I feel like the technology has really become imbedded in our lives, these experiences with face book and cell phones weren’t common twenty years ago…they were less common even ten years ago.

So I’ve plucked out the people whom I have no place for anymore. I’ve stripped away those who I can’t talk to, won’t talk to and especially those who won’t talk to me. Sometimes I wonder why I added a number when I see it, it was bound to never get dialed, many of them weren’t.

But as I do this, there’s something odd about some of the people you cut out. Maybe its that I look for a common pattern in things where there really isn’t one. Some of them shaped me so much, whether good or bad, some of them I just have no desire to talk to and I think that inside I know that it ended because I was tired of carrying us. I was tired of being the only one who could pick up a phone when they didn’t need something.

And then there’s the good. I can honestly say I don’t have any of those friends right now, all of them are there for me in some capacity. I don’t have to be the one to initiate conversation and that feels great.