Response

Thanks to them canceling last minute overtime I got to sleep a little longer than I would normally have. Though it only seemed to barely matter.

As it turns out, I think I am ready to just give up on talking to that girl from work. She seems to be the kind of person that I just wouldn’t get along with and on top of that she has a nasty habit of ignoring me and I’m not going to spend my time trying to get some girl’s attention…

The way I see it, ignoring someone whom you don’t know when they speak directly to is a pretty childish thing to do and if someone doesn’t have the common manners to act on the base instinct to respond I don’t think I will have the patience to put into her.

I don’t want to go the route of that one friend of mine and act like he’s God’s gift to women and they should all come to him bearing gifts. But when I try and make normal conversation with you the least you could do is respond.

And I know that the way things are with the internet and text messaging, culture has become about when and when not to respond. But it seems like she only added me on facebook and responds to me at work so that I won’t ask why she didn’t respond or pester her. If the case is she thinks I’m pestering her well then I guess we don’t need to talk anymore.

Prison Term

Before any of you jump on me about my support of Obama, let me say this is not about that. This is about the racism, hatred and bigotry often directed at him in a way that is undeserved and just outright stupid. I claim no political allegiance and do actually agree with some conservative ideas. But I feel like these people are not just a bad representation of Conservatism and Americans...they're a bad representation of human beings.
This is a real post from facebook and these comments have not been doctored in any way. It was posted on my wall by someone whom I've deleted from my friends list but I thought it was important that people online see what kind of people are out there and understand what racism and hared look like.
And this is actually publicly shared anyone with or without facebook can see it:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2079629109537&set=p.2079629109537&type=1&ref=nf

BTW, anyone ever notice the direct correlation between being a racist and being bad at photoshop?

Give and Get

Just that fast I feel like I can actually function again. I slept for the better part of a day and took some Nyquil, that worked out very well for me.

So I was looking over some things on Facebook and I noticed someone whom I used to be friends with was posted in a picture by another person. I haven’t spoken to her in years, though we used to be friends. I drove her to work and even developed a crush on her roommate. What was odd about the whole thing was the way it ended.

I gave her and the roommate gifts for Christmas, sweaters. I had only wanted to get one for the roommate, but I decided to do it for both. Some boyfriend she had at the time got jealous and angry with her over it and she blamed me for her boyfriend’s lack of confidence despite the fact that she knew I had no interest in her. She later said it was my fault that we weren’t friends even though I never tried to stop talking to her.

What I find odd about all of this is how people will be so quick to forget any good you did for them and any of the fun you had. I even tried talking to her years later and she completely ignored me, even when a mutual friend asked her about it (I didn’t tell him too, he did it on his own).

Not really sure why I should even mention this here. In all honesty I wouldn’t want to be this person’s friend anymore and I ultimately gave more than I ever got back out of her. I guess what bothers me is that I feel like the kind of thing that happened sort of reflects a lot of the relationships with friends I have had over the years. This one not even being the most noteworthy.

Sick

I have been sick since Tuesday, but the last two days have been the worst over all. I had to stay home from work because I just couldn’t muster the energy to move around and I couldn’t see straight. I had a fever and I haven’t eaten since about thirty hours ago because I just don’t feel hungry. I know I need food, I understand that but all I seem able to really want to do is drink things like water or juice.

From about six in the morning till nine at night I was sleep. I don’t think I’ve ever moved around so little in my life. I feel like I’m on the up swing from it all right now. My body isn’t quite as sore and besides a mild headache and a cough I feel much, much better. By tomorrow I need to be 100%, I have to work five till ten.

I guess I had better attempt to find some food.

Uneducated Guessing

The problem I have with discussing things with people online is the high tendency that they have toward saying something that is a completely uneducated guess.

Please, don’t use logic or reason when talking with me. Just throw all your crazy in a blender, press purée and see what comes out! 

Soldier On

The with which I am floored by something still shocks me. The things that open old wounds are astounding. I was using my phone today and in going through one of my apps I ran across something that just caused me to sit in the car and think.

It’s hard when you remember someone or something you don’t want to. I’ve lost friends and family and sometimes even just thinking about a time when you had something you shouldn’t have squandered can temporarily tear you down.

I came home on a mission after that.

I had to get some work done. I had to make myself get back on my feet and continue to plow through it. Despite the sore throat and my lack of desire to eat due to the sore throat, I can still put my fingers on this keyboard. I can still write.

And now the novel has surged past the one hundred thousand work mark again. Looks like its back to trimming.

And back to soldiering on.

Luther Review Part One

I don’t usually review anything, I thought I wouldn’t be one of those blogs that did that but then again I have had this thing for several years now and maybe I need to switch it up a little bit.

I’ve watched the first three episodes of Luther over the last few days and am working my way through the fourth right now. All I can say is as a police procedural its brilliant and as a show its brilliant. The basic gist of the show is that John Luther played by actor Idris Elba is a detective who gets too passionately involved in his cases which has caused him to have a history of instability in both his work and personal life.

Probably the single greatest thing I can say about this is that its unpredictable at times. I am usually good at seeing what’s up around the bend but this one throws some unexpected punches in there. The acting is fantastic and really the atmosphere is too. I would say anyone who loves a good thriller, a good psychological drama or a good cop show will love this.

And when I finish the first season I will tell you my thoughts.

Home Stretch

I’ve been working back over the story slowly and there’s been something jumping out at me all over the place. My story has the thematic makings of a Cosmic Horror story more than I could have ever imagined.

About a week ago I made the choice to go that route because I noticed a few things that matched up. Now that I am reading back over this I keep finding more and more.

The actual editing is going very slowly because I find it hard to read my own writing. I am better about it and more impartial all this time later. But the more I look into it the more I realize I need to get cracking and really buckle down to get something done. Most novels, I would imagine, die at this stage. There’s so much work in editing and most of writing seems to be in the editing.

So now I’m actually on my way to making this work. I just have to keep it up.

More Writing

I am thinking I need someplace to review the stuff I watch. I have a lot to say and it seems that watching some movies and shows really puts me in a reviewing mood. Doctor Who was amazing and it really has got me thinking that I might want to get in on this web reviewing thing, why not.

I will try and think on that a  while and in the meantime I’ll work on my own writing.

Lately I’ve been reading a lot of Neil Gaiman, the man’s a master of using a little but making it go a long way. And watching Doctor Who and Sherlock recently has really taught me that writing and shows and movies just need emotion. Bad ass plots and characters will get you a long way, but emotion will elevate you to an entirely new plane.

Reading has always helped me to write better. It’s kind of like it charges me up. Part of me has garnered a new respect for the Cosmic Horror Story and I want to incorporate elements of that genre into my own writing. I think that it really fits with the backstory that’s already there and it would make sense with what I’m doing.

But the really important thing I want to do is make sure that the emotion is there, because without that I don’t think anything else matters.

Well Drawn

I was hunting around Danboru the other day for a poses and came across these. Not sure who drew them, not sure what they’re from but they are very, very well drawn. Not sure if there is much else to say about it.

The Death of Thinking

It’s becoming so obvious why we don’t have more smart television. The viewing audience is entirely too stupid to understand what they’re watching most of the time. When you look back at the popular shows over the last few years they have been rather devoid of intelligence in a lot of ways. Take Lost where they really didn’t answer half the ideas that they poised.

It’s worrying because Doctor Who is starting to suffer the same fate as so many other smart shows, the fans are revolting because of it and some of them are calling things plot holes when they’re just missing the plot…entirely.

Writing my own book has caused me to worry about the whole “is the plot too ambitious” thing and I really think that its sad you have to worry about that. A lot of the time what you’re aiming for isn’t that lofty. It’s just that people are so used to pretty graphics and plots filled with clichés being spoon fed to them to get them through their TV time.

Thinking is something that’s dying out in entertainment media. 

Team TARDIS

I just wanted to post this gif because I love it:

I still hate Tumblr.

Just a Preference?

“It’s not racism, its just my preference—I don’t date X men/women.”

You hear people say this, see them say it on sites and some obviously think it by how they act about things when it comes to race and dating. The “its not racism…” opener usually means you’re about say something at least vaguely racist. Saying “I’m not racist but Chinese people are mean” doesn’t make you not racist.

I understand preferences in looks, we all have them. But you mean to tell me that if you met someone of a certain race that was perfect except for they were a race that’s not your preference, you would drop them based on that one thing. There’s attractive people of every race, so its hard to say you couldn’t find one in that race. And the idea of worrying about what others think about you is actually rooted in racism too.

When you look at the preference thing, I usually don’t find far eastern Asian women that attractive but if I found the perfect women for myself and she happened to be Asian I would be a fool not to speak to her based on race.

I think people need to get out of their boxes of conventionalism and look more to being open minded in ways that actually mean something. “Not my preference…” sounds like an excuse for you to be racist without having to say so and if you’re not willing to at least give someone a look because they happen to be white, black, Asian, Hispanic, Arabic or whatever…then you should just call it what it is.

The News Cycle

The twenty four hour news cycle is destroying America.

Doctor Who

I am beginning to think that Doctor Who is my perfect show. I just can’t imagine it being better than when I’m curled up watching Matt Smith and Karen Gillian run around.

Unattainable

She is smart, quirky, gorgeous and personable. Her creative side is alive, flamboyant and in-your-face. She’s got a following of friends and a good-girl past that’s sent ripples through the surface of everything she does. I’ve never witnessed her being nasty or rude to someone and she’s always been respectful and nice to me.

The woman is unattainable perfection. That awkward duckling who grew up to be everything I crave in a friend and another person. I can’t tell her this because for the past six years or so we’ve been pretty much just friends even when we were out for Valentines or talking on the phone late at night.

There are the kinds of friends you feel like you deserve and the kind of girls whom you think you could get, she’s never been either.

And what keeps me from hoping for more, truthfully, is the fact that she and I are unfathomable together. But she’s a good friend, supportive, helpful and true.

It seems like when I’m dealt someone truly amazing that I want to keep around its always got these dire consequences attached.

Daughters

For as long as I can remember wanting to get married and have kids, I’ve always wanted daughters and not sons. Now I know that to most men the idea of having a daughter isn’t want they want to do. For some it might be because they fear the bad karma of what they did to women coming back on them.

I really can’t say I’ve done too much to women.

The scary thing to me about having a little girl and the fact that she would have to grow up is the kind of things that happen with boys, the kinds of things kids do when they’re in love or when they think their in love and the need some other kids have to take advantage of that. It can hurt being a guy, but it always seemed like the shame that was lumped on my friends that were girls was always worse than it would have been in the same situation for boys.

And that’s what scares me, the fact that in 2011 the world is showing no sign of being where it should be where women are concerned. We have cases of women being cheated out of their money in the work place, we have cases of young girls being made to apologize to their rapists in person and we have a society that shuns a man for engaging in dog fighting and champions one who has beaten his girlfriend to the point she goes to the Hospital.

I don’t want my little girl growing up in a world like this one. Hell, I don’t want my little boy growing up in it.

The Problem with Video Games

At least in the modern sense, video games are moving more toward the multiplayer online genre than they are the play at home alone games. It used to be something that you did alone and there was sometimes a story, sometimes it was you versus the computer and that’s it and sometimes you even learned something, that was rarer. Recently though the whole thing is about playing against others in competition and really I feel like it’s a bit of a waste because there was so much potential in the stories that could be told and the things that could be done but its often squandered on these new games without any story at all. So much so, that games that do have stories throw something together just to sell with the multiplayer component.

It seemed like I used to put so many hours into a game…and get something cool out. What do I have to show for winning against a bunch of people I don’t know? There’s no story, the characters are usually clichés or archetypes propped up to give some appearance of character or style.

I feel like there’s little to no incentive to make a story when the average person only plays the game to unlock something. It feels like an entire aspect of a medium is dying…

Pandora

Not the planet from that shitty movie.

I’m talking about the music application and website. Its seriously one of the best inventions in recent years online. I would say since You Tube. I mean I spend so much time listening to it and its easily better than the real radio. For one I’m not subjected to endless commercials or bullshit I don’t want to hear.

Pandora is the future.

Good Things [Don’t] Come to Those Who Wait

I can’t really understand the whole thing people say about not looking for relationships and that’s when you find them. It’s the common little phrase, “once you start looking that’s when you find someone.”

It’s bullshit, you don’t normally find anything by not looking for it. I think that the only way to get something good is to work for it, not sure why relationships would be any different.