Alone

If I was afraid of social interaction and scared to talk to people, it would be understandable. At least from the standpoint that I could say I have some kind of social anxiety or some other thing that I am sure some doctor out there has made notation of in a book.

But no.

What I have, if I can be said to have anything at all, is a growing need to be alone. I’m best left to my own devices and, save for a few people, I strive to deal with no one on a day to day basis. It started locally and spread to the internet. I spend my days phone off, MSN concealed behind the cloak of Appear Offline and it feels best when I do.

I try and do what others would suggest—talk to people, get out. Go places. But it feels lackluster with a few exceptions. I would say I need to fix something if it felt like I did. But it doesn’t. When I have to interact or do, it doesn’t come difficultly and I can be engaging.

I just don’t want to.