I Am Jack's Freedom of Thought

A long time back I would have filled this blog with things that it really wasn't my place to care about...why do I say it wasn't my place to care about them, well I find that the people they involved couldn't have given a care about me in the first place. I realize that now, looking back I wasted a lot of energy on things that I shouldn't have even had in my head.

I'm trying to figure out what I can do to make up for lost time here, but I can't because this place is supposed to remain as is, that's just one of my things. I guess for now I will pick up where things come in this week.

Not much has been going on this week, I have a test this next week so I need to get ready for that. But in news that does not concern the depressing mess that is school. So many things have happened outside of all that, and some of it will sound very familiar although the tone that it is in will not. Once more Brandon (my old roommie) has made another girl mad, although I don't really think that this is his fault, I mean he really didn't do anything that she herself didn't guess he would and she was told by several people.

I don't see how a girl can get mad when all you're guilty of is doing the exact thing she did to someone else. It doesn't make sense but I just see a lot of irony in the fact that this same thing happened with Brandon and another girl around the same time last year and I was all on the girl's side last time.

I haven't changed my stance on women and men, but I have changed the way I look at things. That's why I type all of this here, I have changed to the point that I see how a lot of things that women do are at times wrong. Recent events have helped me to see this, being accused of things I in no way did, and being cast out for the simple fact that I was trying to be nice. Right now I really don't care for many people.

There is however one girl I think I like enough to try something, she seems really nice and sweet. Funny thing is she's kind of like Mandi, well when I say kind of, I mean really. She looks like, acts like and has this whole Mandi aura around her. She's not quite as excitable maybe, but anyone who knows Mandi and saw this girl would thing, Wow, she's like Mandi.

I really don't know how to approach her, she seems like she might be a little nervous or something. But I'll probably figure something out. I'm at least good at thinking on my feet.

I talked to an old friend a little while ago and something came up that interested me. I was saying how no one was around so I might just watch Firefly all day. My friend, Amanda from my old high school suggested that I watch the CSU game (I have no idea who that is). I said Eww, I'm not watching sports and she asked me why and I told her that I never watch sports, she knows all of this.

She went on to say that every guy that she knew would be watching some sort of game, and I told her that I'm not trying to fit in with every guy. And then she said something that shocked me, she was just like And you never did, that's what makes you unique. I was proud of her for something, I mean four years we hung out together and went to school together and I never thought that she realized I was any different from the sex crazed drunk jocks and poser wannabe gangsta's that ran around our school.

While I wonder where I belong I never try to fit in with someone just because they are there or because its the socially acceptable thing to do. I basically do what I want to do, I've realized that most of my life I have been a free thinker, I don't follow into crowds. Like when I think about how I was in elementary school and junior high and even high school...I did things that I wanted to do. Like in high school people wouldn't hang out with a certain girl I knew because she had a reputation for doing bad things and just talking to her was socially unacceptable. I talked to her because she was a really sweet person and always nice to me. We never did anything wrong together, but she was always there for me and I was there for her.

Amanda made me realize that I never have been one to fall in line and just follow like many others do. But there was a time last year when I did just that and I'm glad that I've gotten over that. I hope that I can stay this way and keep my head above the masses. Well I have to head out. I've typed on this far too long, but there's one more important thing to mention. Jo, a friend of mine has started a blog here. Go check it out!