The Internet is for Complaining

I am kind of convinced that the internet is becoming a place where people can bitch about things that really don't need to be bitched about. Maybe this started because many of the first big voices on the internet were the people who really hadn't had a forum before and were able to share ideas. Maybe this is where this rise of complaining came from, when these people got into groups they would talk about how they hated things in popular culture.

Or this could be partly due to the popularity of Maddox back in the late 90's and his way of complaining about everyday things in life. But I doubt that anyone really took him seriously when he said these things. These days a lot of people feel the need to complain about everything from music to movies. And a lot of times it seems like they are doing it just to stand out or get attention.

When I said to someone who wanted me to watch the movie Crash with them that I would rather super-glue my asshole shut than watch that movie, its different than me getting online in a place where people are talking about the movie and blasting it without any real reasons. I can back up my hate of the movie Crash. People who are running around telling me that they hate the movie Transformers because it was made with more people than just the fans in mind need to just stop and think about what they are saying.

You want them to spend two hundred fifty million on a movie that probably one hundred thousand people are going to go see? That just doesn't make sense. Just because you didn't like it doesn't make millions of others wrong. Especially if your reasoning is that millions of others liked it.

Charade

Have you ever met that person that everyone else just seems to like but you can just tell there is something wrong with them, like their logic is flawed, their morals seem a little debunk. You can tell that this person is not as good as everyone thinks. And most of all no one but you seems to notice.

If you do try and tell someone what you have noticed you are usually met with the opposition claiming that jealousy is making you see things that way. But there is something telling you that this person is wrong, that they are not good. I know this guy, he is the goatseed anus of a nexus that everything bad about other guys pours out of (if you don't know what goatsee is, don't look it up. He is the guy who says one thing to the girls and turns around to his buddies and tells a totally different side of things.

He's what gives us a bad name.

I can't say to much else about him, because this will be on facebook where he can see it. But just know that someday everyone will see you for what you are, the charade won't last long.

Picky?

Allow me to be a little introverted here, something I normally don't do on this blog but I think that for what I am talking about the idea is appropriate. This time the focus is on me and the subject is one of preference, or taste rather. All of this is in response to a recent allegation that I am picky. I have to admit the idea of me being picky kind of caught me off guard. I don't think I have ever been called that.

Here are just a few things I have to say on the subject of my taste in women, I know many things I like aren't the norms; like how I love legs or girls with beautiful hair. At the same time I don't know why I like some of the things I like; like how I have this strange love for redheads. These things are just like that some of the time and we have to accept it.

Now all of the things above aren't factors for me not to be able to date a girl, but there are some things that a girl cannot have or do if I am going to date her. I think that everyone is like that because realistically you have to have some standards. For instance I wouldn't date a girl who took it upon me to bad mouth my religion. Basically you don't have to be Catholic or even Christian, but respect that I am and that its not some fairytale.

Now I think that this is totally acceptable, as are the rest of the things I look for in a person as signs not to date them. Why is that? Well simple, because I don't believe in dating someone just to date them. If I date someone its because I want to get married to them, otherwise I don't see a point in us wasting our time on each other. That might sound harsh, but its the truth.

I don't see it as a problem that I won't date someone who drinks too heavily or who isn't at least a little assertive, these are just things that I need to have in another person to be with them. If I know I can't spend the rest of my life with a person why should I go through the trouble of dating them. Dating isn't supposed to be for you to get more ass and rack up booty points, its a screening process for marriage. And if you try to argue with me otherwise I'll lay you out cold on with a retort.

I think that is the problem people have understanding me when I say certain things like how I would break up with a girl for asking for a threesome. You're damn right I would, and don't call me cruel. She was basically looking for a roundabout way to cheat on me. I'm not a picky asshole, really. I just have strength to stand up for what I believe I should have in another person.

WTF?!

Two blogs in one day? That's right I'm going crazy it would appear. I am excited though because its almost August and I am hoping I get to hear from Persephanie again. It would mean a lot to have that back in my life, to just secure things since I have lost so many friends for various reasons recently.

My friends have been some of the most important things to me over the years and to lose anymore would really just hurt. But actually gaining a real solid one back, someone I really cared for is the best possible thing right now. I might sound like everything this negative right now and all of this, I know some people might be pissed about the things I say and I'll say it before as I have, I don't usually care when people think I am saying something that pisses them off.

But I also don't think you should care so much about what I say. I continue to be nice to people despite the fact that I get walked on, I continue to try to make friends even when so many of them walk away, that's life right? Probably the best news about me in my current state is that I seem to have become the writer I once was. My writing has become crisp again and maybe heartache is my inspiration? I would hate that to be the case but who knows.

And to Kara: I try my best to never generalize as if its all women, I know several who are great people and don't do things like that...you included. I could name a lot of others. But one thing I will say is that women like you are hard to come by, people like you are hard to come by. There's not many good people left in the world and when someone says their a Christian or when someone says that they believe lying is bad, or that people should be straight forward its not always the case.

None of those things mean that the person believes what they are saying. I'm attracted to a certain type and it seems that some of them say the above things (I especially like religious women) and don't actually follow through on them. I know its sad really. But don't feel like I am talking to you when you read things like that. You have never been mean to me before and you're as far as I can tell the perfect kind of woman to date. Unfortunately there's not even enough of you out there...

Double Standard II

Someone tell me a good reason that women are allowed to be cowards? Tell me why some girl telling me that that I need to grow balls is allowed to turn around and cop out like nothing happened? I'm not sure if this has ever happened to any of you, most of the time when I ask someone out, I ant to do it in person. But there are circumstances where it must be done by e-mail or some other form of communication.

Without fail, almost every time that I have asked a girl out on an innocent date like this I didn't get a no, I got nothing. They never replied. When they world finds a person unappealing or ugly it looks through them like this, the same way we look through the hobo on the side of the road begging.

A simple no is all that has to be said, what do they think not saying anything at all is going to do for them? How much confidence does it take to tell some guy no? I mean I get told I need to get more confidence...why should I work so hard when it seems every girl I come across doesn't have the confidence to say no.

I work so hard to get something only to be ignored or disregarded and tossed aside, I don't want to get it then in the first place. I feel like I would be better off with a woman who wants to find someone with out resorting to these stupid fucking games.

My Kind of Trouble

It's not hard to find trouble, everywhere you look its there. Trouble is one of those things that no matter how much you want it to go away its always going to be just around the corner. Trouble is discouraging to us, it makes us just not want to do things. Depending upon the severity, things will be more and more effected. September 12, 2001 I just couldn't bring myself to draw. I didn't pick up the pencil for about six months after that. I don't know how that's connected, but drawing just didn't seem right. I had been drawing when I found out about the attacks.

My point here is that trouble is all around us. But at the same time trouble isn't the same for everyone. There's an opposite side of the coin, when things are head for one person or group, they might be tails for another. There's lots of good examples for trouble. Case in point, Jesus for the Romans. He was trouble, but the kind of trouble that brought them out of their period of excessiveness. In the same way, the United States was trouble for Hitler, but we stopped his tryanical reign. I think with just those two examples.

Well I am going to say this in the most awkward way I have heard it said. I actually saw it on this t-shirt. We need to strive to be the trouble we want to see in the world no revolution ever got started and was successful without creating a stir. A little trouble can be good for someone else. Taking the moral high ground doesn't have to mean that you get walked on, it doesn't have to mean you can lay down and let wrong be done.

Stand up and speak out when you see something wrong happening. Most of the trouble in the world that we don't want is furthered because no one speaks out. But it doesn't have to be the big things. If you see some jocks picking on the nerd, get in there and tell them its wrong. Tell someone what they are doing to someone else is wrong if it truly is.

People who know me know that most of the time in most situations I am good for speaking my mind, or just speaking without fail and unstoppably. When I take up a cause I think is right and know is right in my heart of hearts, I don't lay down easily and I might not do for myself, but I can do for others. Maybe that's what I am meant for. Boondock Saints as a movie is a good example of how we need to stand up for the right thing, even if the methods are taboo.

Go out there and be the trouble you want to see in the world, rattle cages, and tell people the truth. Most of all just because someone doesn't agree doesn't make you wrong, even if most people disagree, doesn't mean they are right. It seems more and more that most people don't do the right thing anyway.

Update...

I really haven't had anything that I have thought was worth writing about in a while, but a little bit of good news. I heard from a friend I hadn't heard from in about three years the other day and that was really good. I have only talked to her a little but needless to say I am pretty happy to hear from her again.

I have been drawing again and writing, doing all of the old things that I used to do and I am not sure what cause me to do them really. I sat and did six pages last night at a Starbucks and I realized that part of my problem is I need an environment like that to write well. I need to be out of the house.

I am wanting to move out now, not sure where or when yet...but I need to be a little more independent. I need to have some time to work on things and get some writing done. I am going to start working on what to do next now though.

I guess the most unsurprising thing that I met a girl, I don't want to say much about her but I think she seems pretty nice. I will tell more later.

Never Cease

People never seem to be able to stop being a disappointment, they waste countless amounts of my time and their own by forging things only to throw them away at the drop of a hat.

You Might Be Trying to Be Nice, But You're Still a Liar

I'm going to tell you exactly why women shouldn't ever try to talk about how much guys lie. It's actually quiet simple and you can sport it all over sites like facebook and myspace. To put it all in very simplified terms, just look at your profile; do you see where it has the marker for relationship status.

Now, you would be hard pressed to find a guy who has that he is looking for dating or a relationship who would turn down a girl whom he is attracted to. If he did turn down a girl for any reason he would more than likely just tell her no. He might give a reason.

What you don't do is give some reason because you think it will make a guy feel better. I am going to tell you straight up, some of us maybe pretty damn dumb, but all of us using these sites can at least read, or maybe its that words elude you. But last time I checked you having Dating or a Relationship under looking for meant that you can't tell some guy who asks you out "I'm just not looking for someone right now."

I mean no matter how you try and spin it, you're a liar. Either you lied on your profile, or the more logical choice is that you're lying to the guy. Let a girl ask me if I want to go out with her, I'll tell her no if I don't want to. It might hurt her feelings but she won't be running around thinking there's some chance. And if you right after that start dating anyone else, they're going to know you lied so what's the use. Just stop thinking you're doing someone favors and tell the truth. It reflects bad on you. Learn to say no and be a damn grownup.

Ruin and Creation

After working on it since September I am happy to say that the first book in my series was finished last night around eight at night. I would have posted this last night but I got so happy I ran off to play Final Fantasy XII, promptly got my ass handed to me, and remember why I had stopped playing FFXII in the first place...

Anyway the story came out to be exactly seventy pages long, deals with the introduction of most of the major characters that will be seen in the series, starts off the first story arc, and introduces the main villain of the first story arc. Overall I am happier with this one than I have ever been with the other drafts of this same story. And I am ever happier to say that it's my very first completed story written entirely in first person. My new found confidence last night caused me to stay up until almost four in the morning playing Final Fantasy and thinking of a promise I made to get this story done before August...and here it is. Done.

Maybe the abundance of thought is why my playing was such shit last night. I realized while playing that even though I know the Final Fantasy series like the back of my hand, my mind as a strategic fighter sucks ass. I could never command forces in the military or anything like that. I mean I can't keep track of three people who I have control over totally with time freezing when I go to menu select...

Guess this is why I stick to writing. I have mind that allows me to see storylines and events in my mind and keep all of this stuff in order. Well needless to say I am a little happy about this...if anyone wants to take a look at the story just ask me. It's not refined yet but it's readable.

Now its on to the next in the series, which I wrote a draft for earlier and didn't finish and now I'm just going to start over from scratch...wish me luck.

Busy

Suffice to say I really have had much to write about lately. Things aren't great but they aren't super bad either. I have been writing like a mad man every chance I get. Planning and doing things as fast as I can get them down and the more i do the more I have to take note and make sure to remember for future stories.

I made a new friend the other day, kind of spur of the moment too. She's a pretty cool person and someone I think I can talk to without all of the bullshit that usually ruins friendships. And the thing on my mind most now is that it's July, and August is next month. August its going to be very important for me.

Yesterday I met up with Becca and took some picture, a lot of them came out great and I am just looking over them right now to see which ones get to go into photoshop first. I have been drawing some too, I am supposed to do one for Becca and some othere people but here's what I have so far.

Album Reviews - Like Vines

1. "We Intertwined"
2. "A Dark Congregation"
3. "Sweet Tangerine"
4. "Lions Roar"
5. "Lighthouse"
6. "Don't Wake Me Up"
7. "Where We Went Wrong"
8. "Magnolia"
9. "Wine Red"
10. "Out Through The Curtain"
11. "You Are The Moon"

Artist - The Hush Sound

Album -Like Vines

Genre - Indie Rock

Release - 2006

Label - Fueled By Ramen

Summary: The Hush Sound is an Indie Rock quartet who found their beginings in Chicago, Illinois. The founding members Bob Morris and Greta Salpeter met in when she was in the seventh grade and he was in the tenth. Bob being a bit of a rock performer and herself being trained in classical piano, they were seen as a bit of an odd couple. Both Bob and Greta sing. When the band officially formed in 2004 their roster included two new members, Chris Faller who was on bass and vocals and Darren Wilson also on vocals while serving as drummer. Greta plays piano and sings, while Bob plays lead guitar and sings. This means everyone in the band severs a dual purpose. The bands first album was called “So Sudden”.

Review: I remember the first time I heard The Hush sound, I was on the myspace of a friend’s little sister and a song was playing. ‘Wine Red’ was the name of the song that I heard and its actually track nine on this album. I was blown away by Greta’s vocals (she takes lead in this song) and all of the parts of the band coming together to seem like one singular unit. When I first heard the song I thought that for sure this would be the only thing to stand out on their album. With a few downloads of some of their other stuff I was proven wrong, “Where We Went Wrong” solidified my assurance that Bob Morris was also a good vocalist and that the bands somber and hauntingly beautiful sound was prevalent throughout their music. I think one of the highlights of this album are the back and forth singing of Greta and Bob near the end of “Where We Went Wrong” with the line ‘hey come back to me’.

I purchased the album in December of 2006 with some money I had for Christmas. It was so important to me I braved the Best Buy the morning of December 26. When I listened to the rest of the album so many other things stood out. The mellow songs and their soothing sound has graced the six disc changer in my car every since that day, only being removed to accompany to other cars and in my CD player. Probably the most stand out song of this collection is number five entitled “Lighthouse”. The song tells a story and is mostly piano melody and Greta singing. It wafts from your speakers carrying with it a torrent of emotion and feeling that just pull you in. I remember being captivated as I listened to it the first time. Other highlights on this album include “A Dark Congregation” and “Sweet Tangerine” (which actually has some special meaning for me). All and all I love this whole album and am lucky to have been pointed in the direction of this band. I would recommend it to any rock fan, whether they like pop-rock, alternative, or almost anything else falling under the blanket of rock and roll. Actually one of the more surprising things about this album is it’s versatility. My parents like it, my brothers, my sister, many of my friends and other people who normally don’t agree with my musical tastes. I’d recommend anyone who hasn’t heard this album check it out.

Artist’s Other Works – “So sudden”, “Snakes on a Plane Soundtrack” (Wine Red)

If you liked this album then check out… Straylight Run

Taste

Here's something that I have been thinking about every since I mentioned it to Rickey last weekend when I was staying with him. He made the claim that he and I have bad luck with women and that women have bad taste in men. I corrected him that there are women out there with good taste in men. But he and I have a problem with our tastes. We have a preference for women who happen to have bad taste in men.

The thing is that sometimes the girls I like seem to have some good sense and be very sweet people, I can think of one right now. Other times I can get hung up on some girls I never should have liked in the first place. I don't know what my problem is. I think I might need to change my tastes for the most part, but how do you go about doing that.

Has anyone else noticed...but me=clueless.

...until August

My brother opened his eyes today for the second time all of the way, that's a big improvement. Shows how much my mom knows when she talks about all of her negative stuff. Today I was emotionally drained, I don't know what it is that's taking the toll on me or even if its anyone thing.

I manage to remain my usual self in the face of, well, everything. I can't say much about, well anything. I feel like I had my energy sapped right out of me, I slept from six this evening til eight and I still feel so tired. My arms can barely move, so I guess that this is the first sign I need a break. A real one. But it won't come any time soon.

But last night I started to think, its almost July, and then comes August. In August there's that glimmer of hope. And I pray that I am not stupid for waiting on someone to return. I've fought so hard to remain who I was before she went away. And when she comes back, I wonder if she will notice a change. Thanks to her, I realized I was worth more than what I thought, and thanks to her, I was able to cut the cords from some people who would sooner hurt me than help me.

Summer is in full force but I have something to look forward to. People think of Winter as symbolizing death but I disagree, winter is my most lively time. Winter is when I am at my best. I await the new school year...the cool winds, the rain and an old friend.

Mother Says

Today's not been good, the weather reflects the mood as dreary and bleak. My brother has been sick with something or other, my mother has decided to be completely and utterly negative on the subject. She and I got in an argument and she called me stupid and said I couldn't think. So I walked out of the house and went back to my place. Frankly I don't feel like putting up with that from anyone and like I said before I'm not going to sugar code things for people. I told her she needed to apologize.

Calling me stupid over an argument about a cup was out of line. I won't go into the details of the whole thing because it was dumb, but she basically told me she didn't see the need to reward stupidness by apologizing. So I stood my ground instead of rolling over and taking it, I'm not letting anyone walk on me. So I walked out.

I'm sorry to say it, but the old fashioned ways are going out. I'm not letting my kids think just because someone is older they are automatically right. What the fuck kind of logic is that? I'm going to teach my kids to look for what's right and if they do end up wrong, apologize and admit it. Don't hold on to some dumb idea.

Just because you've got further in life doesn't mean you know jack shit about it, in fact it could just mean you had a lucky draw...

A Reply...

I just want to say that I am in San Antonio right now first off, but I wanted to post this very interesting post out in the open.

Emily said...

Well, there's a flaw. You can't use it to defend actions which cause harm or have victims. Clearly there's a problem there. It doesn't make logical sense to use the argument that way, and of course nobody does.

The rest of the things you might use such an argument to defend are things which, truly, if it doesn't cause obvious harm to yourself or others, then I see that the argument DOES work. I might say 'well it is patently silly to eat popcorn with barbecue sauce, anybody can see that even without trying it,' but indeed you SHOULD try it before you know for sure that it is a bad or good idea. (actually, that turns out to be rather tasty.)

There is a slippery slope, when we start drawing arbitrary lines.

And my reply...

Yeah but who is to say that things like threesomes don't cause harm to the mind and the psyche? I mean obviously I've never had one and I am pretty sure you haven't either, but who's to say if we went out and did that tomorrow that we wouldn't be harmed in the head.

Which can sometimes be the worst kind of harm because you wouldn't know it even happened.

Sorry I didn't have time for a real blog tonight.

Don't Knock It Till You Try It

As many of you might already know, I am no stranger to arguing. If you've been in an argument with me then you know how I usually do it. I don't always win but a lot of the time I get some good ideas out there. One of the things I hate the most in arguments got pulled on me today and to be honest this kind of argument pisses me off.

I mean of course the argument of Don't knock it till you try it, this is not a valid argument. More often than not its used when in conjunction with sexual discussion. Let me throw the scene out there for you. I was talking about something with someone on a forum and the subject of threesomes came up. I simply said that this is not something that I would ever want to do because I don't have a desire to be with more than one person at a time and even if I did when you think about it, in a relationship if someone is looking to have sex with others doesn't that bring up questions about the relationship itself.

My main argument against the don't knock it till you try it mentality is that it can be used to defend anything. Let's say for instance that I am an avid member of NAMBLA, if someone were to tell me that sex with little boys was wrong I could easily say "Don't knock it till you try it."

Another good example is drugs, we're always told not to try things like drugs and cigarettes. But hey if we employ the don't knock it till you try it mentality then we should all give drugs a fair shot? Right.

Why not just give everything a fair shot, let's all try rape...or incest maybe, how about we kill a person, or burn down a small house...hey don't knock it until you try it. We can't jump on Hitler because how many of us here have gassed Jews or committeed mass genocide?

Hey, don't knock it till you try it right?

I hope we can see how this argument is utterly silly and its the dumbest way to argue anything except taste in food...

She's Got A Good Hold On Me

Been trying to write blogs that were a little bit more short and sweet lately. I guess I have more to say but I don't want to say it all mostly because I am trying to sort things out right now and there has been a lot going on. I was riding in my car earlier and I came across a CD I hadn't listened to in over a year probably.

When I popped it in the player I was shocked to find one of my favorite old Dashboard Confessional songs on there, its called Hold On and just everything about it makes me smile. But at the same time it makes me sad. Now I'm sure as a lot of you know I am a sucker for acoustic music, but the song itself is so poetic that I can't help but love it. Lines like "I never saw her leading me once, she never felt me beside her," just strike a cord with me. I don't know, there's a little joy to be had in finding and old CD and hearing a song you nearly forgot about. And for just a little bit of time, you can forget all of your troubles and slip into a happier time.

How Many Times Can You Say?

I feel horrible, I might have taken something out on the wrong person, someone I really cared about. I can't take seeing others that I care for get hurt and I can't stand to see them go through a lot of pain and get constantly hurt like that. It has an effect on me and I don't mean for it to. But pain in another person is easier to ignore if you don't know that person. I feel terrible now for the things I said.

Keeping Space

On this rainy night I can think back on all of the times that have shaped my life up to this point. I can look back and think back to what I wrote last night. I can look back and say that things have to change. They need to change now. I'm writing these words to save space, to keep time and to hold on to this spot and to mark the first day that I told someone they were wrong. The first time I told someone everything wrong with what they were doing.