Contact

It's been weeks since I've hugged a girl, I just realized that while I was laying in bed this morning. It sucks not even having any kind of human contact and now I began to think that a certain someone was right.

It's even worse when you think that thre's someone out there who's perfect for you and yet you can even have that because of other circumstances. Maybe this is why I felt off a few days ago, why I still feel off now. It's probably for the best that I am going to see Marisa today, I'll have someone I can talk to and just be around, and I miss her. She was one of my bestfriends.

What makes me kind of upset is that almost all of my old high school friends, with the exception of a few are always too busy to talk, they are always working, if I leave a message they almost never call me back and they never call me first.

Basically speaking, I miss general female contact, I thought about asking this girl out in class, just to pass some time, just to do something because its so bland around here without people. But I'm too afraid to deal with girls, I'm just bad at it.

I don't really have much to say, or much time to say it, I have to go clean the car out. But last night I got into an argument with these guys, one of them posted pictures of this girl he had supposedly had sex with on this bullietin board and all of the other male members were talking about how gorgeous she was. I thought she looked okay, but she was nothing to faint over and definately nothing to brag about.

So I simply asked, What's so great about this gir, and they all defended the pictures and were saying things like You've never even seen better in photos or in real life!

I kept thinking, that's a bold statement dumbass, but I can do you one better, I've kissed better looking girls than that, I've hung out with them, talk to one on the phone every night, I hung out with a group of them in high school.

What makes people think that just because they were on the internet they're hot shit. What makes them think that they're any than the rest of those men out there who sleep with some girl, run to work and tell all their horny, sexless pals around the water cooler hoping that boss doesn't walk by because the boss is female and she might get offended and fire them all.

I couldn't see myself running off bragging about anything I did with a girl, I would just be thankful I had her and let it be at that. If she wants to tell its her business, but I just know how the men around me would normally react so I would refrain from saying anything.