Tired of This Shit

It's so hard dealing with people, everyone has this need to be untruthful, people are so cowardly. Rather than say, Hey I'm not interested in you, or You're just not my type They would rather make up stories or ignore you. I think its bullshit having to deal with people only to have them lie to you all of the time. It hurts more than not being able to find someone, not having them be truthful at all.

This is why no one trusts anyone anymore, this is why people can't get along, because everyone is afraid to confess to anything, everyone is afraid to say things like, I would just rather be alone right now. This girl approached me on campus about hanging out some time, suddenly she's not answering calls or IMs, and when she does she keeps telling me to meet her here and there at this time or that, but then she doesn't pick up the next day or show up.

It's like, fuck you, if you can't be counted on to pick up the phone or when I talk to you provide a better excuse than my phone was on vibrate, then you're not worth the time. You had to look at your phone sometime during the day, right? There's really just two girls here I'm even interested in, one of them's really artsy and she and I haven't talked much since she was home during the whole Rita bit.

She has an excuse, I talked to her today and yeah I understand that, although I think she's not interested, but I can't always tell. The girl who I talked about from the campus, I sent her a message on my space, she never answered and claimed that she uses face book more. So I used that to send the next one, and she never answered that either. I saw that she was online, IMed her, no reply. I don't know who people think they are that they can have you go somewhere to meet them and not show up.

If you don't want to meet someone be damn sure not to ask them to meet you somewhere, its not like I asked. I find myself wanting to be around more people, but scared to even approach them because I just see another oppurtunity to be let down. The only person that I really find myself looking foward to hang out with a lot is Allison and I really only see her a few times a week. I'd be content to sit in this room and just go to class, to not have to interact with others or deal with half of the people that I deal with on a daily basis. Okay well I wouldn't call it content, but I would call it okay. I want to be around other people, I really do but they don't seem to work as I'd like them to any of the time. I go out and I just see people hanging out together and I wonder how can I be happy like that?

Why can't I?

I know all of this might sound petty to you or it might sound like I'm being childish about this. Everyone's seen those little emails that get sent around about the kind of things that girls want, then you see the bullshit guys that girls are dating right. Don't send chain letters, especially if you don't believe in them. I'm tired of seeing that shit in my email box, let alone hearing girls talk about how they want all of that stuff when they date someone who is the exact opposite of what they want.

Men may be trash that talk about women in a bad way, but at least they don't cover it up with little emails, bullitens and chain letters about how looks don't matter, its about a good mind and kindness. Most guys know that's a lie, some of them will date total bitches if they have big breasts. I'm just tired of people in general. I'm going to go.