The Safety of Routine

I have to say that things around here have been getting odd. I'm just starting to realize that I am back at school and things are really starting to kick in. Although its not that late as I write this, I will say that today was a total bust. I just sat around. I wish I could have gotten out to do something but I have no gas. It's just getting to cost too much. I waited for Allison to call so we could go to the mall and maybe take these pictures. But she never did.

Now I'm just bored here, I colored a nice little drawing of Kinsey that I did a little while back. It came out pretty well and I guess that's one thing that doesn't make this day a total waste. Strange thing, I'm around people all day long and I see them day in and day out. I think I'm just ready for a change. I might just go out and wander about tonight. It's starting to get cool enough that I can do that.

It's a crazy thing, someone really dear to me said a lot of the things that are happening now would and I'm still shocked. I'm still reeling from the realization at how predictable others are. I could sit back here and name off all of the things that are going on. I don't agree with a lot of things so I just keep my mouth shut and move along. Hell I don't agree with half of the things people do. But I think my ideals about what should happen are much more harsh normally.

Many of the things I really wanted to see happen this year don't seem like they'll be able to take place. I don't really know what makes me think that. I just do.

I was talking with a friend earlier tonight and he and I were talking about how we want girls that actually do things, that have lives and hobbies and all of that other good stuff. I don't want a girl that just kind of sits around and has no interests. They have to do something.

We were talking about a girl that he liked that was in dating this firemen and she hated how the guy treated her. But she wouldn't break up with him. Part of the reason why was because she just wanted to date a fireman. Well I came to the realization that to a man, it doesn't really matter what a woman does for a living. I mean of course there are the occasional exceptions to the rule, I wouldn't want to date a striper. But for the most part, men don't look at a girl and say, Oh, can't date her, she's just a waitress.

If I'm attracted to a waitress I'll date one. For men it seems to matter more what a woman can do. Can she cook? Can she manage her time well? Does she have what it takes to be good with children? These are all just things that seem to hinge on gender roles. At the same time, women seem to want men that have better jobs and can take care of them. Or that have jobs that bring a low level of prestige. Firemen have gotten this aura of being sexy. Especially since September eleventh. I'm not saying this to be sexist, this is just what I observe.

So what would I like to find in a woman? Well I'm starting to think someone not so much like me would be nice to hang out with. I mean that way we're not constantly agreeing and doing the same things. I have seen couples that spend all of their time doing the same things, and just being glued together at the side and it's sickening. I know its not good to define a relationship based on what others will see of you, but I think that the kind of thing I am talking about cannot be healthy.

Things have been real crazy, before I hung out with Eddie tonight I met Shana and her roommate to just talk. Her roommates name was Amanda and she was really pretty. I think she might be someone I'm interested in getting to know better. There seem to be a lot of girls I am running into that I would like to get to know better. At this time last year I was kind of in this same place. I felt a little something for more than one girl, and unfortunately I chose the wrong one to try and go for. I miss how last year Shana and I would hang out all of the time and just have so much fun. I miss that because it was one of those things that wasn't arranged like by some kind of schedule but it just became routine. I need to find a routine for this year.