For Kara

As the title suggests, this is for Kara. Any one can read this, if you take offense to these words, good. Maybe you should take a look at the way you're doing things then and ask yourself this question Do I feel secure in my actions?

Junior High is a pretty hard time in all of our lives. While things might have been simpler back then for most of us, before the threat of terrorism and the like. Life was hard because for the first time, we were feeling strong attraction to girls.

Back then most of it was innocent, and it got expressed through the wrong outlets. Most of us got as far as holding hands, maybe a kiss. But the thing was, what was the ultimate thing you went for when you went after a girl? You could hope at best to make out, no one dared to say the S word.

Almost a decade later I could sit here and tell you all kinds of horror stories about what I have seen guys do. I could tell you that guys are just looking to put their wieners in your naughty bits. Most women seem to think that already. So why is it that girls fall for guys that are going to screw them over?

Women aren't stupid, even the dumbest person by nature has a memory and can tell when they are doing something the exact same way again. The problem is guys are tricky, they've evolved to a point where they have safe guards to counteract most of the ways women guard themselves.

In the case of some guys, its just so they can get some tail. A guy doesn't think past sex most of the time. Some of them won't even use a condom, forgetting what the function of sex is actually for! But these are the guys that are easier to see through, most of them spit rhetoric that you see in movies, hear in rap songs, or read in joke books.

They're going to target vulnerable girls, the ones that are younger, emotionally unstable, or fresh out of a break up. To them, these girls are no conquest, just a means to an end...the end of a hard on. Unfortunately I knew some guys like this, all of them even drew straws over a seventeen year old to see who got to take a ride on her that night. That was how they would describe it. Better than that, the one who made his move decided to do so when she was almost completely passed out on a couch. He had sex with a barely conscious girl...

Now the more danger guys are methodical. These are the ones with a real brain in their head, that got further than second base in Junior High, learned the ins and outs of women (physically and emotionally). They're dangerous because they are adaptive to situations. They go after hard targets, women who have moderate to high confidence and some who say they don't believe in one night stands. Some of these men can function and think enough while drunk to still accomplish their mission.

I've heard of guys like this, met about one in my life. The one I met did such things as get girls who had never been kissed to sleep with him in one day and let him film it. It was more than just trickery, it was pure manipulation. It was incredible to realize that someone can have that kind of power over someone else. Even so not just any guy can do this, it takes quick thinking, wit, an adaptive personality and good looks.

In a matter of speaking, you must be an evil genius to accomplish this feat, most guys that are out there trying to get into a girls pants are trying to do it like this last guy I mentioned. Why? Because they want a prize. Some guys want a virgin, they might even tally the number they've had. I've heard guys even speak of sleeping with a one girl for each letter of the alphabet, that is to say they want to find a girl who has a name that starts with each letter. Even worse are the ones who only like to go underage...you can find all types, but the basic message here is, guys are sick monsters.

Hell, even I am. I just turn my anger towards other guys. If I make a guy cry, I feel pretty proud. Maybe his confidence dropped a little, less competition for me. Part of me wishes that if I have daughters, they're lesbians so I don't have to deal with the pain and torment the average guy inflicts on a woman.

Now I am tired of writing, I think I might go make a sandwich or something, oh and if you have any hate mail or letter bombs please send them to:

I don't really care if you don't like what I wrote.

1234 This is a fake street anyway...

Wherever, USA

Hook Ups

Since the day I left Junior High it has seemed like things were changing too fast. I remember when kissing someone was a big deal. My first year of high school I heard from the younger sibling of a friend that three girls at our school had gotten caught having sex.

Back when I was there it was rare to even hear about someone going as far as to get fingered.

Now in college people talk about hooking up as if its something completely normal and even therapeutic. I used to see examples of it everyday. I still see guys that make out with girls, interchangeably in groups, and girls who make out with each other for a guys entertainment. I have to stop and ask, what happened to you women?

The women from a newspaper, Laura Sessions Stepp has written this book called Unhooked about the decline of love and its replacement by hookups in college and high school life. If I didn't see it for myself I wouldn't have believed it at first. In my high school people were so close knit that there wasn't much hooking up in the open, everyone knew everyone.

But when I got to college things changed severely and I could see the stuff that was going on all around me. One girl I knew personally got passed around like a doobie among hippies. Guys would get together and discuss her performance and even rate her on how well she did individual things.

Stories cropped up about different crazy acts she had taken part in, one of the most notorious was her allowing a guy to use the vibrate function on his phone for purposes other than it was intended for, needless to say the phone broke. But the point here is this, hook ups, for the most part, are degrading to women and they harm the guy on the other end of the thing too.

The problem really stems from Feminism, now I know I am going to get a lot of hate speech over this, but I think the second that women led themselves to believe that sexuality was the way for them to become more independent, they left themselves open to be used in a new way. Being outlandishly sexual doesn't empower you. All of the guys and girls I know that get the most crazy sex are the most unhappy people.

I read an article that Laura Stepp wrote on Valentines Day and it amazed me how much I thought the same way she did. She wrote about how many women didn't want anything to do with long term relationships because there wasn't any time for them. Stepp states in her article:

A national survey of 18-to-29-year-olds by the Pew Research Center reported that almost 60 percent were not in committed relationships and the majority of those were not interested in being committed. Young women even have phrases for couples, frequently spoken with a touch of derision: They're 'joined at the hip,' or 'married.'

But I can tell you right now that part of the problem lies in our parents. I had a friend who had a mother who had been divorced several times, and this friend told me that "I don't see the big deal with marriage, its just a short term commitment". Believe it or not the reluctance for people to seek divorce ruins the minds of the children involved.

What I can't do is offer much help. Guys I know think they are happy to be this way, to seek out these things and only these things. And occasionally making out with someone at a party isn't going to damage your mind forever, but going about looking for this as if its going to lead you to eventually meet someone you love is a dumb idea. If the other person only sees you as a hook-up that's all you'll ever be. Even if you marry that person, expect to get divorced, or have major problems. You weren't what they had in mind, just what was convenient.

A link to the original article can be found here: myspace

Don't Get Your Hopes Up

There's a school of thought that I have blatantly subscribed to since just about the time that I started Middle School. Many probably just call it a superstitious way to think, still others might think that its just a matter of our own perception, a watched pot never boils. But in my own mind I think it is safe to say that when you get your hopes up you almost undoubtedly get them crushed.

Hope is one of the things that keeps humans going, it keeps us from being down in the dumps all of the time. Even the pessimist sometimes has hope. But getting your hopes up is a different thing entirely. Its being so sure of something that you hope for that you rule out all other possibility, likewise, you prepare for only what you have hoped for. Setting yourself up for the panic disaster of the aftermath of what would be anything else.

Go figure that I would have actually gotten my hopes up a lot of times recently only to have them dashed. And while I don't believe in karma or fate, I do believe a little in probability. We as humans have a probability to hope for the least likely, or a less likely thing to happen.

When we get that hope up too high is when we have a problem. Now I am not saying that the best way to go through life is by becoming Descartes. I am trying to tell you that maybe if we didn't put our eggs all in one basket that things wouldn't be so bad. Life is a series of events, based on the choices we all make, and how they all play in together, but on top of that there are random events, freak accidents, unexpected surprises and such; that play into this equation every day. Maybe its a little much to get our hopes up that what we hope for is going to be just what we get. Hell, it might not even be what we need