The Great Disappointment

I want to start off by asking that you keep my very good friend Jessica in your prayers. I can't say much more about it than that. But I'd be glad if you prayed for her.

Two thousand seven has thus far been a terrible year, most of the people that mattered to me most are stripped away. I've been sick pretty often, I wrecked my car and on a scale of things happening globally, there's more wars going on than I can count. Some just think that we're undergoing growing pains and that the world will come out of it shortly. I am under the impression that all of these things are actually a death rattle.

Every year seems to get progressively worse, every event that I see seems to be worse than the thing like it that it follows. Anything good or nice gets squashed as soon as it appears. The world has been a rotten place to an awful lot of people. Most of the time these are the people who never deserved it, who never saw it coming.

This world is a mess, created by God and yet thrown so far from where it should be. Not reflecting what he intended at all, and he must have known it would be this way, he is after all God.

What's the great lesson here? Everything good is so rare, its so unique and when you find something good, hold onto it? I can't ever seem to do that last part. The good things usually only last me a few weeks at best. A good feeling is something I can hardly remember now. Not feeling lonely is something that I haven't known in almost a year. And I am beginning to think no one loves. When you love someone you don't leave them. You don't ignore them or not talk to them. You are willing to fight for them.

Love seems more and more like an abstract concept invented to just keep people happy, give them an unreachable standard to live up to. If you believe God is perfect, and God is love, therefore love is perfect. If you also believe no one person can be perfect, no one person has the ability to love. And I'm betting the chances don't look to good for two people either.

For a long time I thought that I could come and help everyone rid themselves of their problems. Help people feel better and whatever else. I'm done doing that, I find most people aren't worth the time I wasted trying to help them, I can think of a few right off the top of my head but I won't name names.

As for Jessica, I will wait and try to help her, because she was the last person I remember making me feel any kind of good. She was the only one recently who talked to me and made things just a little better. I could actually smile with her. A few others of you out there I think deserve help. But to those who don't...you'll know that I've given up on you.

The Only Way To Make It Through With Hearts And Wrists In Tact...

I don't know what to say about this world, this world it seems like its taken another person from us. Another good person. I don't know what to say. Except I hope she's okay and I love her.

It's A Small World Afterall...

Well just like the title says, you would be shocked how you can go four hundred miles and find a common connection. Well first off I need to say that my first three test grades have been 84, 88, and 23/25...this I am proud of. But after getting my latest test back I was walking out of class with this girl I have been talking to some, not in that way, but she's pretty cool. Her name is Melanie.

Well Melanie was telling me she spent a semester in Florida and I asked her why, well she told me that she did and Internship with Disney. Well that is the same thing that someone else I know did, someone I don't talk to anymore, I won't name any names but...yeah.

It just seemed so strange to me that I knew two people who had done this same thing. I told her some about the fact that I knew someone who had been a part of the same program, as a matter of a fact they had even asked me if I wanted to do the same thing and I turned it down, I don't know why but I am glad I did.

This is just further proof that things aren't as disconnected as people would think.

A Rain to Wash The World Clean

"A rain to wash the world clean," that's a quote from the movie Cowboy Bebop; and that is also what it seems like is going on outside. This isn't the hard kind of rain, not the threatening kind. But the kind that you see that seems peaceful and cleansing. I love soft rain when its cold out and you can just sit and look out at everything, or sit and read, or sit and write. Any of those would be acceptable answers.

I don't think that I have had time to report that I did actually finish my first story, it is the first time in a year I have finished anything I was writing that was over ten pages. And that says a lot I guess. Some might think it says that I procrastinate. But in actuality I think it says I have been rewriting over and over because that is what I have been doing.

So now with this roll that I am on I am launching myself right into the next story so that I can keep rolling with this, I want to have two stories done by this summer, that means that I will have to have one more done.

I wanted to get to something but I drug this out so long that I will hardly have time to say it before I get too long winded. So I am going to work on writing it in another blog.