New Normal

A while back Brandon commented on something that I thought was just a small part of one of the blogs I wrote. He made a remark about what I had called 'The New Normal', that is to say that there is a new order of things that are becoming the constant state of all our lives. Life without certain people, less communication between others and certain activities just being much harder to accomplish than they have in the past.

I remember a time when I would be winding down to watch television right about now, when Futurama was on and then Simpsons and the X-Files after that. That was my normal Sunday night routine. Back then I didn't have a car, (Gas was like 99 cents) I didn't even have a cellphone, not that I needed it because I never talked on the phone much anyway. Back then there were things that bothered me, normal teen drama bullshit...but nothing like the problems I have today. And back then the world was a simpler place. I felt safe no matter what, the News was just the News, but it was hardly ever Doomsday talk. My friends and I were a solid group, I knew where I stood with each one of them, and the few people I had around me that I didn't like were so insignificant that I didn't care if they were there.

Now all of this is not the case everything has changed and not for the better. The world, my life, everything around me has just gotten darker. And I'm not sure if we can just call this growing up or some kind of growing pain. But I hope dearly that all of this is not the New Normal. I noticed that more and more banks are open on Sunday, that used to be one of the most taboo things you could do. Sunday was the Holy Day. I see more and more that people just don't care about you, or anyone else, and its hard to care for others if every time you do you get stabbed in the back.

People's lives are shrouded in fear, their entire day to day being is marked by the trouble they manage to avoid, not caring who else might run into that same trouble. Lying and cheating have become commonplace. Underhanded practices are encouraged in most businesses and even in some school. This isn't the world that we wanted to grow up in? This isn't the world we wanted for our Children.

I hope for their sake this is not going to become the Norm.

Like Yellow Does On Blue

Right now I am sitting in the hallway at the school, typing on the lap top and just wondering, what I can do to get back on my feet. I'm so tired right now that I am sore. I am actually trying really hard in school this time around. And I know that it is going to take a lot out of me. This weekend was pretty bad, I won't go into details but out of all the good jokes that came out of this weekend, it really still wasn't worth it.

The only things that I really got to do this weekend were get a few things and drop of Persephanie's gift, I saw my friends, but it got ruined, by myself of all people. I really just want to avoid everyone right now, or most everyone. I really don't feel all that great.

I talked to Persephanie on her birthday, by the way happy birthday to her, and she made me feel a little better. She's always pulling for me, there are a few people who are. I wonder if I really deserve with the way I have been lately. I owe a lot of people apologies that I'm not willing to give them in person. I'm not even willing to look them in the eye.

Things are, to say the least, very confusing right now. I'm lost and without a map. But something happened on the way home from San Antonio, I heard something in a song that made me think back on how much I depend on some people. How much people depend on us. I rely on one person especially for support. The line from the song says it perfectly, "I can't deny that I've relied on you, like yellow does on blue".

The prospect of losing this person has come up, and the reasons aren't in my hands. 2007 is quickly becoming a contender for the title of shittiest year ever, but then it has to go up against high school (2000-2004) which was a four-peat and lets not forget the shitfest (shitstorm if you will) that was last year. If this keeps up I might just Falcon Punch somebody.