A Wall

I'm at the end of my rope with this, it really doesn't do me any good to keep chasing after people who obviously don't want to be friends. For all my effort and pushing, the lack of friendship I get in return is just horrid. I feel like an idiot for trying this long, for entertaining the thoughts in my head so far.

What I honestly thought to be a good solid friendship wasn't the same to the person on the other end. People are fickle and will forget any thing thats right in front of them. You're only good it seems so long as you have a use and when that use has run out or isn't there, what reason does anyone have to keep you around? You used to be so kind to me, say such nice things. Everything is so forced now, so coarse.

I hate how you ignored my obvious friendly gestures and keep try to keep things as impersonal and sterile as possible. It makes me feel like I did something wrong, like I wasn't good enough. Which is a feeling I know all too well and I would spend days trying to just think of what to say to make it better. Did you mean to do all this, did you mean to make me feel as if the person I thought you were isn't really there at all? I'm wondering if what I am seeing now is the changed you or the real you.

Either way, I don't think I can have any part in it, I think I was ready to accept who ever you were that came back to me, except for when you're like this. Because really, all that seems to be happening is you're trying harder and harder to push me away. And its working.