Eulogy

Those of you who know me know that, writing or speaking, I am not often at a loss for words. Preparing this eulogy was not easy for me. This is indeed a sad day for all of us. My brother meant something different and special to each and every one of us. In loosing John we have lost a son, a father, a brother, a husband, an uncle and a friend. While sharing our grief with one another will help us ease our burdens, I think John would prefer we remember the good times.

John was a man with a schoolboy's heart, a novelist's eye and an artist's soul. He was the kind of person you could talk to about anything because he would never judge you. He lived his life by is own rules and made no apologies for it. You either GOT John or you didn't. He was fine either way. He could be immature at times but the truth is he never lost touch with his inner child.

He was my big brother. Being as close in age as we were John and I had many of the same close friends. We were two years apart in school and even shared some of the same teachers along the way. In at least two cases (Mrs. Washington in fifth grade and Mrs. Johnson in high school World History) John set a standard that I was told, in no uncertain terms, I could not measure up to. Those two ladies GOT John.

Our closeness might have created a fertile environment for sibling rivalry. But our Dad always told us we had to stick together through thick and thicker and we did. As a child I remember him as both a guardian angel and a co-conspirator. Depending on the day we could be the dynamic duo or Frank and Jessie James. We laughed, cried and sometimes fought together the way all brothers do. But even when we were at odds we always knew we had each other's back.

I followed him in the Army Reserve and we served for a time in the same unit. We were brothers-in-arms as well as brothers. John was proud of his service and regarded himself as a soldier all his life.

He brought that same devotion to his friendships. As those of you who were friends with John know, he was not Will Rogers. He met people he didn't like and he wasn't afraid to tell them. On the other hand if you were his friend then you were his friend until December 25, 2007. He was a very loyal friend. He always found time for his friends; they held a special place in his heart and he would go to the ends of the earth for them.

So many people have asked what they can do to help ease the pain of this loss. The answer is nothing. You see this isn't the first time I have lost someone who meant the world to me. So I know time will ease the pain but it won't go away. I will draw closer the brother I have left, my family and our friends many of whom were like family to both John and I for so many years. That won't take John's place in my heart but hopefully it will fill the space.

While nothing will erase our pain, I will ask you all for one thing on John's behalf. I know my brother left lots of things undone and there are other things he never had a chance to start. He was a young man living, like most of us, with the belief that he had plenty of time. My request to those of you asking what you can do to help is simply this: Do something you keep putting off. Go on that once in a lifetime vacation. Run the marathon. Learn to ski. Go dog sledding. Whatever it is take the time and do it. Do this in honor of John and for yourself.
Leave as little un-done as you can.

Finally, let's be thankful for all the special moments that my brother has left us and for the way that he touched each and every one of us and changed our lives. I hope that John will continue to live on in all our hearts and minds.