Kind of pissed, I had this long thing written about my job and about how I like it except for a few things. It went on to say that I was kind of weirded out by how guys think that its a bonding ritual to talk about how bad they want to have sex with girls they see. But whatever, it doesn't matter.
I'm miserable and its not due to work or anything to do with the people there. For the most part I plan to keep them kind of separate from most of my other stuff in life. But it doesn't really make much of a difference. Right now I feel like people that I cared a lot about don't care about me, if they ever did they don't anymore. They pretend to it seems...maybe to help me keep things together but I really think that deep down inside I have known for a long time. Why must we deny things that are so obviously true?
Why do I want to hold on to something it seems I never had. I wonder how many times I can bite my tongue and keep from saying, "I told you so." I've bitten it till it bleeds it seems now and at this point if I wanted to talk I don't think I'd be able to. I confirmed that I'm pretty sure these people are using me...why do I keep jumping through hoops to let them do so?
Oh great...facebook is wigging out now...just great
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