There is really so much going on that I don’t think I want to go into it all. I know I never mentioned this when I wrote the last entry. I guess back then it just seemed like it would be a one day thing, and at most I would be done with it by Saturday. Well things always catch us by surprise.
Shortly after dropping Cassie off at her house on Tuesday when I was coming home my car broke down and I was forced to wait outside for my brother to get there and then we were forced to wait for a wrecker, one of the gears under the hood came off and the thing controls power steering, coolant and the cars ability to recharge its battery as it drives.
The dealership, where we had to get it fixed promised it would be done Friday or Monday, I wanted to be out of this place Saturday, if it had been done Friday I wouldn’t have cared and would have been on my merry way.
Now its Monday night, and the same guy at the same dealership is saying tomorrow. I should have been on the road no later than tomorrow, I should have been on the road like nowish but I’m still here in Manvel, Texas without even a car to get me out of this hell hole. The only thing worse than having to be here is not being able to leave.
Right now I just really miss having my own space, I’m going to go back and work hard at finding a job because there are things I want, there are things I want to do and I know now that I can’t do them here with my parents. I can’t even live in this place more than a weekend or I get sick. Its like you get soaked in something and you just can’t get it off until you’re out of it.
I can’t even type on this thing effectively, I can’t run the air I can’t leave to visit friends, I can’t even be treated like and adult. And when I ask them why they treat me like this they say because I’m depressed and because I’m on medication. The other night my mom called me when I was out and told me I should be in bed by now, it wasn’t even 10:30 and I’m nineteen years old. Who says? Who says I should be in bed by now? I wasn’t in bed by that time most nights three years ago! Why should I do that now?
I’m tired of the questions, especially from people who I know that if I started going into any detail with that they would zone out or just talk over me. I don’t want you asking how I am if you’re not really interested because even if you are I’m probably not interested in telling you. And if I am then I will want to talk about it, I will come to you. There are those of you out there who know I talk to you about stuff, others may have just stumbled upon this and not know what’s going on.
Here’s the gist of it: I’m stuck at home, a place that I hate, my parents are being none to supportive about my depression right now, I’m kind of at a loss as what to do next and I’m just ready to have my car fixed and be back in San Antonio, besides, a five hour drive will do me some good, a little bit of alone time to think and the like.
Right now I have to go, I have things to do, I should be back in San Antonio tomorrow, until then goodnight.
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