More Pictures

For Someone Special :P

Sick

So I am pretty sick, not deathly ill but the word Swine Flu has been uttered. Waiting for this whole deal to happen:

Anyway, I haven’t been writing, but I have been planning and that says something. A friend spoke with me this weekend and we talked about our writing endeavors and what we wanted to do and the like. She helped A LOT. So that’s nice.

I did want to show this little tidbit off, its something I am making for a forum Icon. It’s only part of the way done but you get the idea.

It’s going to say CTK.

Brainstorm

Looks like I finally have enough to go ahead with the writing portion of my novel and the like.

There’s still this sort of anxiety I have with going ahead and writing what I need to do, but I think it will pass with time and I really need to get out there and keep working at what I am doing. I need to dig up some of my older books and notebooks and things like that and go through them for some idea on what to do.

Seems like I have some names to make up and other things to change, but we will have to wait and see.

As for now, there is this little tidbit a friend showed me. It relates to the picture that was posted in an older entry.

We Interrupt This Blog…

Well I can’t say that I wanted to try and continue on with something near and dear to my heart, redheads…

Okay, as I was saying, I found this girl on flickr and wanted to share:

American Priorities

What can I say, I was shocked when I heard this and maybe I am a little late but:

When did it become alright for young women to hope on stage at the motherfucking Teen Choice Awards and perform an act which is generally reserved for men in strip clubs? I don’t know how far this little debauchery went, but I’m ashamed that I didn’t see more outrage that this was planned for something shown on a children’s channel.

Flash forward to a few nights ago, Kanye West’s silly outburst at the VMAs, an award show that by all accounts is little more than a mid year dick measuring contest for the music industry. An industry which seems to have for the most part lost the idea of artistry in videos.

Kanye interrupted the show to talk about who he thought should have won and on the internet and all over the media blogs he has been getting blasted for being a cruel heartless bastard. This is only months after Zach Effron releases another set of his ex-girlfriend’s nudes to the highest bidder (Effron is supposed to be a children’s star too) and no one seemed to be upset about it. In fact they all seemed to rush to gather up the nudes.

But Kanye says something on a stage, interrupts an award show and he’s bastard of the year. Where was the outrage the when this shit happened at the Teen Choice Awards? Where were the internet watch dogs when porn of a barely legal girl got passed out?  Kanye didn’t whip his dick out, slap her in the face with it, he didn’t curse and he wasn’t all that rude to her in his verbal tone or the manner of his words (even telling her he did good) but something leads me to believe if he had fucked her, took pictures and posted them online it would have been more acceptable than this.

Although someone posted on another blog that they think all of this was motivated by the fact that she is a woman and he is a man and it perpetuates this male stereotype of the controlling man. Another person on that site claimed it was racially motivated…

I can’t decide, but I would have to say, its not the big fucking deal its made out to be and I am more worried about a sixteen year old girl pole dancing for little girls all over the country to see and Zach Effron peddling his ex out as porn than someone saying a few words on a stage.

Reprint - Rain

Those last two entries were from The Requiem of Time, for those of you reading on Blogspot. People on my account on Wordpress, disregard this little part.

What am I going to post now? Well its not going to be simply a picture day, but I would like to post one:

 

I saw this girl and didn’t realize who it was…its Ashlee Simpson. I would have to say that’s a very dramatic change from when I remember her.

Now, here is a little snippet of the novel – this is from the first one in Chapter Three: Rain -

A beam of light cut through the darkened living room as Holly pushed through the front door of her loft. The side of her body was pressed flush against the door as she fought to free the keys from deadbolt. The entire building was newly renovated; things hadn’t been completely smooth with the move in.

Her front door jammed. It took her body weight to make it budge. The keys would get stuck in the lock and it could take several moments to free them. Over all it wasn’t a bad place, it just had its quirks. She spun the keys away from the wall, then back and pulled them free of the door knob.

The whole place smelled of fresh plaster, paint and lumber. She slapped her hand to the wall searching for the light switch as she slipped out of her heels and kicked them off to the side of the door. With the switch flicked the room was instantly illuminated. She scoffed at her own efforts with the moving process. She’d unpacked only the essentials in the three days since the last of her things had arrived from England.

Great towers of cellophane wrapped cardboard rose up around the room. The boxes were stacked and arranged in such a way that she could make it through the room without having to walk around anything. There were no boxes where her flat screen television hung on the wall and none directly in front of the couch.

But the kitchen table was covered in containers that were filled to the brim with cookware, dishes and nonperishable foods. She’d been too lazy to make the effort to prepare food at home, so it had suited her for the time being to eat out. She made her way through the room, her feet slipping on the smooth tile some as she walked.

As she moved past the television she cupped her hand underneath it hitting the power button. The station was tuned to the BBC, it was too late for her to catch the six o’clock news and she didn’t want to wait for the later showing.

Holly stopped next to the small counter that fenced off the kitchenette. She arched her back forward, bracing her hands against her lower back and trying to stretch. Her back gave a few short pops and then she stopped with a sigh. She undid her shoulder holster, placing the gun upon the counter with the harness still attached.

The news reporter droned on about trouble on Israel’s West Bank as she unfastened her shirt and slung it over the kitchen chair that was still wrapped in cardboard and cellophane from packing. She stood there momentarily in her tank top and examined the wound on her arm. It had already sealed up and even scabbed over to the point it was completely closed. She figured it best to remove the gauze and let it breathe now.

As she went to discard the materials that had dressed the wound the sparkle of the city out her back window caught her eye. Her dinner table was situated right next to the big window and patio she had, the patio itself hung out into the air six stories up and overlooked a prominent Houston neighborhood.

The sun set earlier, a sign of winter’s approached. The sky was already shrouded in darkness when she arrived home that night. But as she stood at the sliding glass door to the back patio she noticed for the first time the distant burning lights of the city and their beauty. Each skyscraper in the distance was only discernable because of the multitude of lights that formed its outline, like a man made constellation.

I might be back here later,

Cardboard Tube Knight

The Nine Levels of Emotional Hell

Every guy hates getting rejected but what's even worse than rejection are the girls that are too nice to just tell you no upfront, that they're not interested. These too nice to hurt you girls are actual the ones that will torture and drag you through all nine levels of hell and leave you as quivering desolate shell of a man.

The 1st level of hell is when they drag you along trying not to hurt your feelings all the while you're feeling ignored or that you’re bothering them.

The 2nd level of hell comes when you ask them about it, they deny it, make up excuses, pretend that everything's cool, all the while knowing in the back of their mind that they aren't attracted to you, and probably never will be. But alas they are just too nice to straight up tell you that, instead they slowly torture you with kindness. You're left insecure and confused not knowing how the read the signals. You ask her out on a date, she accepts. You pay for everything, you share laughs, exchange anecdotes, and like any polished gentleman you don't dare to even try to attempt to kiss her. Instead you simply hold doors, pull out chairs, walk her to her car and/or to her front door. Upon which you give her a hug and bid her goodnight.

The 3rd level of hell starts when you guys go out a few more times all on your dime, she's now laughing more often, getting more comfortable around you. She might even lean her head on your shoulder or accept your arm around her. So you're feeling like everything is going well, and you decide to dispel the ambiguity and tell her how you feel.

The 4th level of hell is when she replies, "look you're such a nice guy but I'm sorry I don't feel the same way, I just want to be friends". And of course it hurts but you carry on, you don't call her anymore often than you did before, except now she's not picking up the phone. She doesn't respond to your text messages and she's never online anymore. You might hear from her again or you might not.

The 5th level of hell is reserved for the the really nice girls you do eventually hear back from. Reluctantly she decides that she's too nice and doesn't want to hurt your feelings so she opts to do the more noble and human thing and continue torture you with kindness. Things will be awkward at 1st but within a few weeks everything will be back to normal.

Thus begins the 6th level of hell, the illusion that everything is okay. She will be closer to you than ever, perpetually leading you on, you may cuddle or even hold hands, but in her mind that's okay because it doesn't mean anything and she's already told you how she feels and expects you to respect that boundary even though she willingly keeps crossing that line.

Now the 7th level of hell comes comes when she starts telling you how wonderful you are, and how you're so sweet, and how any girl would be lucky to have you. And by any girl she literally means any girl, except her. Then eventually she dates some douche bag whom you can't stand, you express to her how you don't think he's the right type of guy for her. She firmly disagrees. She later then proceeds to f*ck his brains out and further more tells you about it. She had too much too drink and of course she calls you, you don't try and take advantage of her but instead do the proper gentlemanly thing get her home, safely in bed. You stay to take care of her, pulling her hair back as she pukes all night long, you help clean her face. And she ends up falling asleep curled up in your arms on the couch. You never really sleep more than an hr or so at a time. You stare at her sleeping in your arms, and you feel like a portion of heaven's grace has been bestowed unto your care. Your happier than you've been in very long time and all seems right with the world.

This euphoria is the 8th level of hell. Its bliss is preparing you for the unimaginable agonizing anguish you are about to experience. After all true hell would could not be as hellish if you weren't allow to taste heaven 1st. Two dicks, three douche bags, and one jerk latter she's still confiding in you. You try to explain to her that she is worth so much more than these losers she's been settling for and that she needs to date a man who will give her the respect and adoration she deserves. Then you explain how much you care about her, and how much she means to you. She shares equal sentiments with you about you.

The 9th and final level of hell comes when you tell her that you love her, that you’re in love with her and that you want to be with her, and she says, "I'm just not ready for a serious relationship right now". You lament and yet again carry on a broken and contrite man having just been spat out by the kindest demon you'll ever meet. Like Lucifer frozen in the lake your heart becomes cold the whole while knowing that you're probably exactly what she needs and you know she's exactly what you want. But you're both stuck in misery because she won't even give you a chance. She would rather have her heart repeatedly stomped by random strangers at a club or men she meets online. She would rather be another man's f*cking bag that your beloved princess. She's willing to constantly give all of herself to a mysterious stranger but won't allow you to care for all of her she's already given you.

You're role in her life can only be compared to that of a bomb defusal specialist by which you can see the threat months before it happens, but not matter how hard you try the bomb always goes off, you're never able to cut the right wire, or flip the right trigger to defuse the situation in time. So you become a forensic scientists picking up the shattered pieces of her tattered life, but before you can completely put it back together again, you've got another bomb to run off and try to defuse. She is not happy because she is not loved, and you are not happy because she won't even try being loved by you. The worst part about when a girl takes you through all 9 levels of emotional hell is you tend to repeat this cycle because you are so utterly broken you are damned to relive the same scenario again and again and again. Until you either find a girl who loves you, or you become the ultimate jerk. I stand by my claim that truly perfect assholes are not born, they are made. The most epic jerks are the ones that were turned from nice guys having been through the 9 levels of emotional hell one too many times.

I don't think that emotional hell is limited to just men, I do believe that woman have their own stages of emotional hell as well. I also think that the biggest bitches are made and not born. I would love a female perspective on what the 9 stages of emotional hell are for women.

Special Messages 3

11. Cardboard Tube Knight- You may not remember this, but I actually remember talking to you in a random thread a lot earlier before we were actually friends (as I consider you at least) and I remember thinking that you had good opinions and I liked how you defended what you were saying, even if I didn't completely agree with you. Anyways, it was ironic how we really started talking recently, and I'm glad too since it was one of the few good things that came out of the situation-edramaz I was having with other people at the time. You're a really serious person in general, which I appreciate because I'm more often serious than not when I really have a conversation with someone. And you have so many opinions and are interesting, so that's really awesome about you as well, plus just being so honest. So I'm glad that we did get to start talking and that you continue to talk with me, even when I sometimes fail at responding (esp. the past few months since I was gone for so much of them). Overall, I think you're a really great person and I hope that we continue talking more <3

I Am Jack’s Return

For those who don’t know, the “I Am Jack Titles” started back in 2005 when I was really big into Fight Club, they are back now because its been too long I would have to say.

Some would say its been a long time since I wrote and actual blog. Others would note that its been an even longer time since I have consistently posted in my blog this long. I had a lot to write, but didn’t want to write it all is I guess what you can take from this.

Started writing the second novel the other day and I remember how hard it was starting the first. What’s amazing is that this is the week Hurricane Ike struck…the same week I started writing before. It’s funny how it all came full circle like that, but that might be my good luck charm.

This week has been marked by good conversation and kind words (which you can see posted in previous entries). What has not marked this week are high word counts and brilliant ideas.

There have been a lot of changes to the second novel, both in structure and scope. But the overall goal remains the same and that is for me to pick up where the first left off, make the story relevant and make the characters true.

One of the shittiest things about many sequels is there isn’t actually anything relevant. When you look at some trilogies, like The Matrix its easy to see that the second movie is largely wasted time and a lot of it could have been incorporated into the third movie. In the movie business, things come in threes so trios are expected if you make certain types of film.

But all too often the trio wears thin by the end.

I am not planning a trilogy because I don’t think I should fit all of this into three books and I don’t like the idea of the trilogy. But I am settling in for the long haul when it comes to the length of continuation.

So here are just a few of the changes I made to the novel this week:

1. We’re going to see an Angel of Love, in fact several Angels will appear
2. The novel will be a three tiered story with each smaller part of the book having its own rise and fall in climax, albeit smaller than the last one.
3. A lot of writings I deemed standalone before are now incorporated into the novel.
4. Half of the Prologue has become the first part of the first chapter.

That’s just a little taste of things. Well I am going to be signing out but here’s a little taste of a picture I picked up today:

Beauty

Just some beautiful pictures:

Dedicate…to a friend :)

Supernatural Season 5

Well my favorite show is back, Thursdays have meaning again. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who didn’t really have time to see it yet but its off to a big bang of a start. Some of the things I am hoping to see this season are an Archangel, God, more badassness from Bobby and more brotherly love and family issues.

Can’t wait!

Other Special Messages

This was written for me just a little while ago by a friend of mine:

Where should I start. I've been knowing him ever since my noob days, and started talking to him via PMs. I do recall greatly admiring him for his writings, excellent blog, and talent for drawing. The fact that he likes me and considers me a friend can only make me glad, since I wanted to befriend him as soon as we started talking. He is one of the nicest persons I have ever seen, paid me some of the sweetest compliments I ever received, and the very fact that he is there for me when I want to talk is very comforting. He makes me feel happy (and blush, whenever he's saying some nice thing to me). He's also very intelligent, thing that I always liked about him. When talking to him, I can be myself, and feel comfortable. This means a lot to me.

And this was written yesterday:

Like an older brother. Very sweet and will always tell me the blunt truth, and no one can ever understand how much I appreciate him for it. He laughs with and at me, and I'm glad I talk to him.

Special

I got this message today from a very special person and I wanted a chance to save it somewhere that I would be able to find it and keep.

Justin is my best friend on here and has helped me through a lot of tough times, and stood by me even when I've been the worse of myself which I owe him greatly for. He always makes me smile and I know I can trust his advice and I hope his dreams come true

Pseudo-Angry Post Teenage Angst At Its Best

Someone wrote this, I guess they were thinking they would look hardcore:

Tennessee is afraid of me. I've seen its true face. I've felt its pulse. I know which veins and arteries to slash..which weak points to bash in with my twin wrenches of justice and truth. I am righteous. The pigs are scum. Their society is weak. It's only a matter of time before I take action...

Luckily someone responded with this:

Contemplating more silly string attacks on McDonald's are we? The Revolution is on!

I love when people love to talk shit from the comfort of their home about how angry and righteous they are for being different. Its funny to see them get brought down a peg.

GIF Overload

Spent part of last night making gifs and looking for some. Here are a few that came up.

Out of ideas

Well for me, anything I would say right here and all, I am drawing a blank and I want to keep my daily posting regiment so I will post the first post of an RP I did and I think turned out well. Sorry if I get a better idea it will be next post!

Four days ago you received a letter, a letter that pulled you from your respective homes to the mountains of Colorado.

A driving snow had covered Malebranche, Colorado in only a matter of hours. This was not the kind of trouble that the letter had promised. The roads were impassable; the town had trapped all the residents inside.

The town had trapped you too.

At least the electrical lines hadn’t sagged down with ice yet and inside of the Warthog Pub it was warm. Splashes of watery remains from the melted snow formed a trail from the door and the sounds of boots on hardwood floors filled the air.

There was a moderate crowd in the Pub tonight. Mary, the bar tender, was telling stories of her drunken days at the University of Denver. Others had settled in over beer, burgers or nachos to talk about their day’s activities and share a laugh.

But this isn’t the carnage and destruction you were promised. The letter spoke of a demonic blood bath of epic proportions. The only thing epic here seemed to be the cold, the storm outside, and possibly the number of drunken sexual encounters that Mary had.

Malebranche seemed all too ordinary.

With Me

This song, With Me by Sum-41 is pretty much describing some stuff I have pent up in my head. I am shocked they made a song so good, I kind of hated them every since high school. But this is a good song.

Here’s the song:

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everything's nothing without you
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

Through it all, I made my mistakes
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt
Pieces of memories fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go
I've come to an end

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find (what you will find)

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everything's nothing without you

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go (I want you to know)
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Eight Days Till The Apocalypse

Well not actually, but in eight days Supernatural Season 5 premieres and it looks like its going to be a big deal. In honor of that I was looking for some art of the characters, I found this book art for a game and decided to post it:

All of these get larger when clicked…enjoy!

Piano Bar

From his spot at the opposite side of the piano bar he watched her through the shadowy recesses of the crowd. If he could just keep her from staring directly at him there’s be no chance that she would even notice.

His movements placed him just outside the grasp of the light. With each step he pulled the next shadow to himself as if he could call the darkness. Each step fell out of time with the music. The light sound of the grand piano wafted on the air as she played.

With the band accompanying her and the concentration all of this was taking there would be no way she’d ever pick up on his presence. When the distance between himself and the riser where the she and the band played was far enough he stopped to observe.

His back came to rest against the wall and he settled as the sound of her voice flowed back into the music, “In time the Rockies may crumble, Gibraltar may tumble—they’re only made of clay, but our love is here to stay.”

She was a young girl but there was something similar in her style to that of a Maureen O'Hara or one of the long past stars of yesteryear. Of course he could remember a time when Cleopatra was the hot shit. And long past was a relative thing.

“Girl’s been here since three or four days ago,” came a melodic voice at his side. A small hand touched his shoulder.

He glanced down into the iridescent baby blues of a blonde in a sparkling dress.

Though he’d never seen her face before, he recognized her in an instant, “Dressed well these days, aren’t we Muse?” He clasped the stem of his Martini glass, swirling it once and then downing it in one go.

“Sweetheart, I own this place,” she said. “And the name’s Angel these days.”

He stared down at her without a word and then glanced up to sit his glass on the overhanging trim that lined the wall. With a short sigh he shook the condensation from his fingers and stuffed them into the pockets of his slacks, “What can you tell us about the girl?”

“You mean other than what you can tell at first glance?” asked Angel. “Not much to know, she’s a half-breed and the new Angel of Death.”

He shook his head, “She’s inherited the Pale Horse?”

Angel nodded, “She even renamed it Apples.”

“Gah, what became of Darius?”

“Fell in love, quit a few years back,” Angel answered.

“And she was appointed years later with His ineffable approval? What does He think He’s doing?”

Angel snatched a drink off a passing cocktail tray, “I’d tell you to ask Him yourself but that’d only be if you could find Him.”

“He’d meet me on Sinai or some other allegorical spot if I so desired to speak,” he scoffed. “I don’t.”

“That’s good to know,” Angel said. “Because He’s disappeared.”

Now the man turned to leaned out to look at her, “Well, I must admit, this is a new trick for Him. Can’t say I’m not pleased but how does an omnipresent being disappear?”

“How does a middle-aged Jew walk on water?” she glared at him. “Don’t ask me stupid shit—He’s God, He can do anything.”

“And you’re down here, how did you learn of this?”

Angel chuckled, “I stay in the loop, Gabriel came in here blubbering like a pussy a while back saying he had vanished—didn’t concern me much really, I got my parting gifts when I quit.”

“The club?”

“Money,” Angel said, “And this body, the tits alone have been almost as helpful as the cash.” She paused for a moment, “You wanna feel ‘em?”

He shook his head, “Think I’ll pass, my dear.” His eyes fell on the girl on the stage, she’d started a new song a few minutes back, “What’s her name?”

“She just goes by Dee, the reason why should be obvious.”

He moved from the wall, “I should be going, too much longer and she’ll sense me.” He stopped in front of Angel.

“She already has, but she doesn’t care, she doesn’t have reason to because she’s never even seen you in person,” said Angel.

“Still I should go,” he begins to walk away and then steps back, “Yofiel?” he calls to her. When she looked up he kissed her on the forehead, “Farewell, little sister.”

His steps carried him back through the crowd, tugging the shadows to his will as he moved. And as if he hadn’t taken a step, he felt the familiar tug on his arm.

“Luce…” Angel was right behind him. “Is there a war coming?”

He glanced back, “Certainly looks like it, I hope our Lady Death is ready for it.”

Angel turned toward the stage and she felt him pull his arm from her grasp. Before she could snatch it back the door several feet away was opening and he was outside.

Dee glanced up from her piano as he fled, but only for a moment and she settled back in. her dark girls sliding down to brush at the sides of her cheeks as she played.

And the Plot Moistens

A little funny tidbit from the forums:

A Present from Jo…

She didn’t draw this although as someone said to me, it does sort of look like her in the face. None the less I find this drawing to be incredible and I am interested in finding out who drew it and if they have anymore stuff because I am interested in learning a style similar to this to draw small things with.

Click it to make it bigger, of course. But the thing is that the line work there is gorgeous and the coloring style, the eyes and everything about it is amazing.

Jo had the picture in her MSN avatar. When I saw it, there was just a face. When I asked to see more Jo, in her adorably classy cute fashion told me, “Okay, but there’s boobs…”

I really had to laugh at that but it didn’t matter, I don’t consider something like this porn, but it is a damn good drawing. It reminds me of someone Deviant Art, only its cleaner line wise.

Other little pieces of note, this Obi-Wan I found while hunting for a set:

Pretty nice I would have to say (click to see bigger) But it makes me wonder, how the hell do I learn to draw like this. I should have never stopped drawing as much. Gah.

It Bears Repeating

"...they'll talk about the odd, but they won't talk about the impossible, which is where I feel sorry for them, for soon as something becomes impossible it slip slides out of belief entirely, whether its true or not."

This is a quote from the book American Gods which I read a while ago, its by Neil Gaiman and I think that the quote says a lot about our scientific community and society as a whole. It needs to be posted somewhere and shown to the world.

Looks like I might have to start watching Dr. Who…

With the coming of the new Doctor (I have never watched the show but I understand this to be true) there comes a new helper apparently and this is her:

And I think we can all see what I mean here with me needing to actually start watching this show. Besides that there seems to be a good number of my friends who are hooked on it. That coupled with a gorgeous redhead is enough to get me to at least try a show.

There are still other shows out there I can’t bring myself to watch. Such as Heroes. I never got the obsession people had with it but when I saw the beginning I thought it was mundane.

Thought

There’s not a lot going on…outwardly with my right now, anyway. There are questions. What do I do now? Where do I go next? Confusion seems easily come by but that’s something that can be said almost any time you think about making big changes. It’s not just the change that keeps us from moving forward, its the fear of things going badly. After all, if we all knew that something would be better, for sure and certain. We’d jump at the chance to do it.

That’s the issue I face right now. Uncertainty is the wall that pretty much blocks change. If I could know for sure that this would turn out right, I would run with it. I would change everything to fall in line with what I can’t seem to get over and I would do it now.

After all, if I knew it would be for the best, why would I hesitate?

I thought for a second today that something was clearer. I thought I could just close my eyes and fall backwards into all of this and it would all work itself out in the end. I don’t know what was wrong with me because I know I thought wrong.

Some things just require careful consideration.

Enjoy the Silence

Just wanted to relay the message to everyone that I actually have rediscovered my love of some older songs today. Or this morning rather, it was sort of on accident that I just let a particular mix of iTunes stuff play and that it happened to be pretty much every song I missed and ever wanted to hear again.

So now I am making CDs and making plans and thinking of ways to better spend my time over the next few days. I will still be around but I really need to do something about this novel, its collecting dust on my desk and its begging me to read it.

First Time

The time had come for colds and overcoats, for big blankets on beds and long days cuddled up with loved ones. It was shocking for autumn to actually come to Houston at a time when the calendar dictated. For the first time in Colin’s relatively short life it was actually cold in November. Thanksgiving break seemed to fly by too fast and in just a few short days he would be back in school. Things would go back to normal. Normally this was the time of year when he craved the smell of summer. But this year was different.

Colin couldn’t think of anything he would trade this for. The frigid temperatures had forced them under a blanket and his small space heater seemed to show no promise. Finally she’d had to gather herself against the only other warm object in the room, him. When it had happened she’d half thrown her body across his, if only in an effort to stave off the cold. With one leg draped over his and her curled around his bicep, she nestled in against his neck.

He tried to turn his attention back to the television but there was nothing on daytime TV that could sway his interests for long. It seemed that his eyes were destined to glide back to Ashley.

Ever since he could remember she was the most perfect person he’d ever laid eyes upon. Although he’d never mention it. They had been a pair since infancy and their families each regarded the other as part of the clan. He made sure to only stare at her from just around the delicate curve of her face, so that he could stay hidden. All the while her green eyes stayed locked on the screen.

His mind drifted to thoughts of her rich full lips opened into his. Her maroon hair brushing the side of his cheek as he kissed her neck. His short fantasy played out on the small suede couch, bathed in the pale blue glow of late night television. The little day dream caused his heart’s rhythm to increase in tempo. The beats fumbled out and sped up to the point that he feared that there might not be a valley between the thumps much longer.

The fabric of his dream was torn away and she was staring into his face.

“What’s the matter?” her lips parted slightly and he could see those two big front teeth.

“Nothing,” his voice came out shaky and quick, despite his efforts to control it, “I think I’m just cold is all.”

She pushed her head back into the nape of his neck, “Me too,” she said, “You’re not allowed to get up though because your piece of shit heater will let me freeze.”

Ashley had always been affectionate towards him, it wasn’t for the same reason that he would have wished. But this time was different, her younger sister was sleeping in a room upstairs and his twin sister had gone off with some friends. For lack of a better word, they were alone.

The show they had been watching came to a commercial break and Ashley leaned down to snatch up the remote, “Ugh, this show sucks, let’s see what else is on,” she flipped frantically through the channels.

“It’s the middle of the day, nothing is on,” Colin said.

“We’ll see about that,” she said almost as if to challenge him, “your dad has like fifty-kajillion channels, there has to be something on one.” She stopped on a channel where an old black and white movie played, “Jesus, what’s this doing on, its like, older than my parents…”

Right away Colin recognized the images, a pale man in a high collared cape pressing some early twentieth century movie vixen up against a wall and clamping his jaw around the curve of her elegant neck. Before the woman in the movie could scream he grabbed for the remote, “Can we just change it?”

“What?” she yanked back on it, “Are you offended,” she snickered with a dainty hand covering her mouth. Despite his frustration with her joke, her tan skin seemed to find a new glow.

His heart sank, “Look, you’ve been around me all my life, when the Hell have you known me to wear a cape or run around sleeping in coffins?”

She slapped him on the back playfully, “It’s just a movie,” she said, “I mean calm down, damn, you act like everything on TV is supposed to be true.”

“It’s a stupid stereotype, like saying that because you’re a girl you suck at sports or that because our Dads’ are black we’re more prone to be criminals,” Colin said.

Ashley laughed, “You are really over thinking this, huh?”

“How would you feel if every other horror movie was about a bunch of half-wits slaughtering your kind or if you had to sit through reruns of that Vampire Slayer show…” Colin turned to face her as he spoke.

She sighed, “You’re hardly even like the TV vampires,” she paused to rewind the digital recorder back, “I mean have you ever done that?”

On the screen the vampire was drinking the woman’s blood again. She put up a minimal amount of struggle and then settled in as he finished his meal. Colin stared at her with a blank expression, “No. We don’t drink Human blood anymore.”

“Duh,” Ashley said, “But you hardly even drink blood because you don’t need it anyway. So how would you know how that feels? It might be the greatest things ever for Vampires—like better than sex or something.”

“I doubt it,” he countered quickly.

“It’s a figure of speech,” Ashley said, “Not that you’d know what sex was like either.”

“And neither would you.”

“I just get the feeling that you’re being dismissive of something for no reason,” Ashley said.

Colin sighed, “You know we’re forbidden to bite anyone.”

“Oh I remember the rule,” Ashley said, “but you seem to have forgotten.”

“What?”

“You’re forbidden to bite someone without their consent,” she said. He could tell what she was thinking at by the devilish look in her eyes.

“Are you crazy?” he asked.

Ashley tossed the blanket off and stood up, “We used to take baths together when we were kids all of the time and you even kissed me that once, remember.”

He tried to look away, “Sort of, yeah.”

She laughed, “Shit Colin, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.”

“Sorry.”

Continue?

This blog has been going on for some time, well in some way shape or form. I started out with Live Journal and moved to Blogger and Xanga soon after that, now I just use Word Press and Blogger…

The point of all of this is that I plan to continue doing this. I don’t know why but there’s something fulfilling about just writing in one of these. And while I don’t have much to say today, I can offer you…well I can offer you a set of pictures I made for a friends RP.

And then this…

Controversy

It would seem that I have started a bit of a problem. But let me start off by saying, I am writing this post on Windows Live Writer, just downloaded this and its interesting. Seems Microsoft is stepping their game up to compete. Now on to what I wanted to write. This will be a short post.

But a friend of mine, or former friend, who will remain nameless actually claimed that we couldn’t be friends anymore because I posted a picture.

This picture:

I think that it did need to be said, and when I saw this picture I thought that it said it perfectly. She claimed I was after attention, I think that was the only comment she could make that didn’t seem like it disagreed with the inevitable truth, there’s no such thing as a Muslim-Commie-Nazi-Peace-Monger…

That’s Socialism Fuckwad!

It seems that I can’t turn on the television without some over zealous idiot running off at the mouth about socialism. You’ll know them because they’re the old ladies who stand up and shout shit at town hall meetings or the radio show hosts who believe that America is turning Red. These people are so quick to tell you about the evils of socialism and how it will ruin everything we hold dear.

These people are even starting to use religion to do this. Case in point: Believer’s Voice of Victory - its a Church show that comes on with a whole cast of old people who probably still think gays are the Great Satan. Anyway, this show was preaching about how socialism is contrary to God’s plan. These people who actually take the bible word for word and use no other sources are trying to say that Socialism, a system that was written about 1,500 years after Christ, is something against Christ.

What makes this stupider? There’s an early form of Socialism used in the Bible.

What makes all of this complaining about socialism even dumber? We already have many socialist policies in place RIGHT NOW.

Gasp! I’ll pause while you all clean the shit off your legs.

Been to the library lately? How much did it cost you? Oh that’s right we pay taxes for that so everyone can use it and that way anyone can just come in and get a card and read books for free…its to further literacy and all that good stuff and — oh my God, we don’t pay for it per use and its done through our taxes. Sounds like socialism.

Who here’s called an Ambulance or the Police or even the Fire Department…you might get charged for the Ambulance ride. But did the fire department only show up if you gave them a credit card that was valid? What if the cops only arrested someone’s murderer if the dead person had the cash on their body to cover the expense. Who all is reading this blog and doesn’t have any fucking kids in school? Did you pay your taxes? Guess what you’re paying for the school.

With all this socialism around us for so long…one would think we’d have gone to Hell or fallen into utter chaos by now. Here’s the thing, don’t believe the hype. Half the people who try and tell you how evil everything is, don’t realize how the idea of that thing can work in theory when used in conjunction with other things. In a totally capitalistic society, no one would get medical care without paying right then, no one would get a fire truck or cop unless they had the money, there would be hardly any taxes and every public building would probably need to charge a toll. The roads more than likely would too…either that or the businesses on the road would pay.

The Army? They’d be volunteer and bring your own weapons. Quick someone call the guy who owns the Stealth Jet…he’s needed over here. With the amount of stupidty running around in the media these days I’m not shocked many people don’t realize this because the news has gone out of its way to make this more about the fight and less about the policy.

Loot Only When Appropriate

Watched Knowing the other night interesting flick and pretty good. But I noticed something that I have seen a lot of in destruction films. Namely Cloverfield and one of those shitty Day of Destruction Earthquake things. In these movies people always loot when the news breaks what’s going on. Now I get the appeal of looting, there’s free shit, you’re out with friends, and you get to throw bricks through windows. Who doesn’t want to loot? And if you know that 2/3rds of the way through the film that the aliens will level the city, no one is going to miss a couple of wide screen Samsungs and that Mac Book Pro.

The problem is that people in movies seem to loot when its not a good time too. So I have decided to outline the right and wrong times to loot. Let’s break it down by the nature of the crisis.

Zombie Attack: Totally a looting occasion, Zombies are slow, they are often unable to work doors and other simple apparatus and the cops will too busy fighting off the undead to actually stop you. One thing, don’t hold up inside of the mall, this might seem like the best idea, but if you stay in the mall you’re pretty trapped and this always turns out badly in movies and video games.

Giant Monster Attack: This is a no go on the looting, giant monsters cover too much ground too quickly and while you’re carrying out that DVD collection you always wanted he could roll up on you and knock the entire street down. Also too many giant monsters attract the military and other giant monsters. Some of them have beam weapons and other stuff and it can get pretty bad.

Alien Attack: Aliens are smart and most often want to violently destroy us without reason. Thank God that Hollywood has taught us this! Since Alien weapons come in all kinds of varieties this is kind of up to you. If its the ones from War of the Worlds, the worst thing you can do is be in a crowd, they love that. So if the people are looting, don’t. But if everyone is running the other way, you are go for snatch and grab…besides it will be too busy picking them off to notice you carrying the blu ray player.

Super Volcano: What are you stupid? Have you ever seen the speed that a Volcano can erupt at? You better keep your ass at home–far from the city.

Massive Global Warming…Cooling…that thing from Day After Tomorrow: Because this movie hardly made sense, there’s not really evidence of what we should do. I would say go for the looting if you’re not north or west of Texas because that’s where the majority of the shit will go down.

Super Earthquake: Only loot in Earthquake safe buildings…possibly wearing a hard hat.

Nuclear Holocaust: You’re the last one left or one of them? Your house better look like the show room at Best Buy and there should be more cars in your yard than some small dealerships have. This goes for any last people left on Earth incidents.

Super Solar Flare: Why are you stealing, you’re going to be dead in like a matter of hours? Seriously think when you loot, don’t take stuff you won’t ever get to use and in this case you never would get to use it.

I’d like to remind everyone that you should be courteous: don’t steal more than you need. Share: if someone needs to use a cinder block, let them, and then retrieve it and use it again. Don’t forget to steal weapons and ammunition this only applies when the threat is appropriate. And most importantly AIM HIGH: what the fuck are you driving out of there? A Ford Focus? Put that shit back and find a nice Ferrari or Bentley.

Well that’s all…happy looting and if you have any other giant disaster occasions, tell me and I will get them up.

Written In Blood

If they had known what we’d done, Holly kept reminding herself, they’d never let us do this. They’d never even let us be partners.

She stood on the side of the drive watching as the fake movers wheeled “their” furniture up to the decoy house. All of it purchased on the American taxpayer’s dime. It amazed her that the government used such elaborate schemes to catch offenders.

Lewis stood beside her, alternating between a Lucky Strike and an ice cream cone. He only spoke in vowels as he tried to stave off a brain freeze, “Mm, you really should try this, it was nice of the HOA to bring it by.”

“Not hungry,” she didn’t bother to look at him. “Not sure if you noticed, hon, but it’s frigid out here.”

“It’s not that cold,” he took another quick lick. “I couldn’t have done this at home without getting bitched at,” now he was taking a drag on the cigarette.

Holly spoke in a diminished tone, “What the Hell is wrong with you, we’re supposed to be the married couple…”

Lewis glanced up and down the street, “There’s no one out here,” Lewis said, “I know you’re looking for any excuse to light that fuse on your tampon and go rocketing into some lecture.” He started up the driveway towards the garage door following behind two movers carrying an entertainment center.

She clenched her teeth, biting back anything she might say that would be out of character. Just before he entered the house she asked, “Where are you going?”

“Jacuzzi.”

“Don’t smoke that in the house,” she yelled.

The house was a small modern thing, pressed between a pair of modest two stories. Even with real estate market being in turmoil, neighborhoods like this were still flourishing all around Houston. It came as no surprise that not everyone living in them was a law abiding citizen.

Holly took a moment to regain her composure after Lewis left. She stood with her slender arms clutched around her frame in the breezy winter air admiring what would be “their” house for the next few weeks.

“Just moving in?” a shrill voice cut the air behind Holly after a few minutes. She whirled around to see a scrawny young lady in a bright red sun dress. It’s too fucking cold for sun dresses.

Holly forced a prim smile, “Oh, hello.”

The woman scratched her bushel of frizz, “You must be Carol Benedict.

“Heh, yeah,” Holly said. The sound of her pseudonym caught her off guard. “And you are?”

“Annemarie Thyne,” she said. “It’s one word,” she added tilting her head to the side as she clasped Holly’s hand.

“Huh?” Holly played the part of the unassuming housewife well, even if she wasn’t playing.

“Annemarie is one word,” she said

“Oh,” Holly laughed. “Sorry, it’s just—I’m utterly shattered.” She drew her arms about herself again, “Haven’t had good sleep in a while.”

“I see, I see—well I just stopped by to welcome you to the neighborhood,” she brought her hands together at the conclusion of her sentence. “I live right over there,” Annemarie pointed to a house on the opposite side of the street at the corner. “If you have any questions or need anything, just come over!”

Holly nodded, “Will do.”

A moment later Holly watched as she returned across the street to her own home. Her husband came out to get the mail. They kissed on the front lawn. It made Holly cringe, not in disgust. But it caused desires to well within her.

Holly had to go inside.

She slipped her heels off inside of the door. The marble tile was cold against her feet and she rushed for the carpet. The spectral aroma of roasted tobacco dominated the air. I told him to stop smoking those Goddamn things in here.

The movers were working upstairs, but she could hear a toilet flush in the bedroom. Holly turned, walking the short hall with her hands clenched at her sides, “Lewis!” she said.

She entered the room to find him shirtless and flicking his cigarette back into the toilet.

“Lewis!”

“It’s Dan.”

“We’ve got to lay out some ground rules,” she said.

“Like?”

Holly glanced into the bathroom, “You’ve left the seat up, balled your knickers up on the floor, and tossed your cigarette in the loo after flushing…”

“Wow, we’re already doing this?” he brushed past her.

“Did you wash your hands?” she asked.

He placed his phone and wallet in a neat stack atop the shelf and began fiddling with the string of his swim trunks. “I squat, like a girl.”

Holly sighed, “Why are you acting like this?”

“I talked to the SAC and I protested this case,” Lewis said. “I’m not thrilled about this.”

“Why?”

“We’re expected to show affection in public,” Lewis said. He slammed the bedroom door, “And we already fucked.”

“That wasn’t our fault,” she shifted her eyes to escape his gaze. “We were shot up with narcotics and—“

“This was a bad idea.”

“It’s just a case,” Holly said, “And we can work it like any other.” He leaned against the wall and his muscles flexed. She couldn’t admit it, but right then she wished he’d been wearing a shirt.

He rifled through his pockets. “If we fuck this up, it could get us both killed,” he said. “Can’t just carry my gun like normal.”

“I know,” Holly said, “but I’m keeping a cool head, so it’s not like you can’t.” Liar. She tried not to picture his hands on her hips and prayed he didn’t touch her.

For a moment he stared at her. Then he opened the door. That bedroom door was their curtain going up.

“I’m going to try out the hot tub, Honey. You want to come?”

Holly exhaled, “I better start dinner. We’ll be eating take-out if I don’t get the kitchenware unpacked.”

“Want any help?” he paused at the end of the short hall.

She smiled, a faux, forced smile, “I want you out of my hair,” her tone was playful. “Go relax.” When he was gone from sight she walked into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it behind her. She took a seat on the edge of the tub and rested her head in her hands.

…I’m keeping a cool head, so it’s not like you can’t.

It would actually be easier for him. He was getting a divorce. He’d been with a woman on at least a regular basis. Before him, Holly hadn’t touched a man in two years. Now she was trapped with the only man she could think about and the only one she couldn’t have. I’m so, so fucked.

Law & Order Yemen

I didn’t catch the lead in or second act…but it ends like this:

This is criminal justice, Yemen style. A man accused of raping and murdering an 11-year-old boy is paraded through his home town before being shot dead by an executioner.

Hundreds of onlookers lined the streets to watch the gruesome scene, cheering and shouting abuse at Yehya Hussein al-Raghwah.

The boy, Hamdi al-Kabas, had reportedly come into his shop for a haircut last December during the Muslim festival of Eid. After brutally attacking him, the barber cut his body into pieces and dumped them outside the capital Sana’a. He was given the death penalty by a Yemeni court a month later after apparently admitting his crime.

Shocking images of his final moments were released following the execution yesterday.

First he leaves the city’s central prison, handcuffed and dressed in white robes. Fear etched on his face, he is surrounded by soldiers as he is led towards a ceremonial red carpet.

He is allowed to say a final prayer, his shirt is then ripped open before he is laid face down.

As a police official reads out his sentence for the last time, a doctor oversees his treatment and crowds – which appear to include children – jeer and punch the air, some filming his final moment on their mobile phones.

I think that we need to go this route more often, call it cruel, call it barbaric. But if someone saw this happen in their street, they’d think twice about diddling kids or hurting them.

Article Link

Atheist Summer Camps?

Is it just me is it getting hard to tell the atheists from the religious? Yet more proof that atheism is just a religion for the godless and with science as its doctrine. Before you go getting all butt hurt just read this definition:

Religion - a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

It’s not a far jump to make that the way its practiced by some, atheism could fall under that umbrella. Ah well, here is the article that I saw passed along on another site.

Prof Richard Dawkins, the prominent atheist, has helped set up an atheist summer camp where children will be taught rational skepticism and sing John Lennon’s Imagine alongside the more traditional activities of canoeing and swimming.

The evolutionary biologist and author of The God Delusion, who stepped down from his post at Oxford University last year, has subsidised the five-day camp in Somerset.

Camp-goers will be given lessons in rational scepticism, as well as sessions in moral philosophy and evolutionary biology.

There will be more familiar camp activities such as trekking, tug-of-war, canoeing and swimming but children will also be taught to disprove phenomena such as crop circles and telepathy.

The retreat is for children aged eight to 17 and will rival traditional faith-based breaks run by the Scouts and church groups. It will teach that religious belief and doctrines can prevent ethical and moral behaviour.

The camp is part of a campaign, backed by Dawkins and Professor AC Grayling, the philosopher and writer, designed to challenge Christian societies, collective worship and religious education.

Prof Dawkins said it was designed to “teach children to think for themselves, sceptically and rationally”. All 24 places at the camp, which runs from July 27-31, have been taken.

Crispian Jago, an IT consultant, is hoping the experience will enrich his two children.

“I’m very keen on not indoctrinating them with religion or creeds,” he said. “I would rather equip them with the tools to learn how to think, not what to think.”

The emphasis on critical thinking is epitomised by a test called the Invisible Unicorn Challenge. Children will be told by camp leaders that the area around their tents is inhabited by two unicorns.

The activities of these creatures, of which there will be no physical evidence, will be regularly discussed by organisers, yet the children will be asked to prove that the unicorns do not exist.

Anyone who manages to prove this will win a £10 note – which features an image of Charles Darwin, the father of evolutionary theory – signed by Dawkins, a former professor of the public understanding of science at Oxford University.

“The unicorns are not necessarily a metaphor for God, they are to show kids that you can’t prove a negative,” said Samantha Stein, who is leading next month’s camp at the Mill on the Brue outdoor activity centre close to Bruton, Somerset.

“We are not trying to bash religion, but it encourages people to believe in a lot of things for which there is no evidence.”

A spokesman for the Church of England questioned Dawkins’ decision to stage a summer camp for atheists.

“We would defend the right for anyone to set up an event like this, as long as the young people are happy to attend,” he said.

“But in his imitation of the type of youth events that religious groups have been running for years, Dawkins makes atheism look even more like the thing he is rallying against.”

Atheist Summer Camps?

Is it just me is it getting hard to tell the atheists from the religious? Yet more proof that atheism is just a religion for the godless and with science as its doctrine. Before you go getting all butt hurt just read this definition:

Religion - a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

It's not a far jump to make that the way its practiced by some, atheism could fall under that umbrella. Ah well, here is the article that I saw passed along on another site.

Prof Richard Dawkins, the prominent atheist, has helped set up an atheist summer camp where children will be taught rational scepticism and sing John Lennon's Imagine alongside the more traditional activities of canoeing and swimming.

The evolutionary biologist and author of The God Delusion, who stepped down from his post at Oxford University last year, has subsidised the five-day camp in Somerset.

Camp-goers will be given lessons in rational scepticism, as well as sessions in moral philosophy and evolutionary biology.

There will be more familiar camp activities such as trekking, tug-of-war, canoeing and swimming but children will also be taught to disprove phenomena such as crop circles and telepathy.

The retreat is for children aged eight to 17 and will rival traditional faith-based breaks run by the Scouts and church groups. It will teach that religious belief and doctrines can prevent ethical and moral behaviour.

The camp is part of a campaign, backed by Dawkins and Professor AC Grayling, the philosopher and writer, designed to challenge Christian societies, collective worship and religious education.

Prof Dawkins said it was designed to "teach children to think for themselves, sceptically and rationally". All 24 places at the camp, which runs from July 27-31, have been taken.

Crispian Jago, an IT consultant, is hoping the experience will enrich his two children.

"I'm very keen on not indoctrinating them with religion or creeds," he said. "I would rather equip them with the tools to learn how to think, not what to think."

The emphasis on critical thinking is epitomised by a test called the Invisible Unicorn Challenge. Children will be told by camp leaders that the area around their tents is inhabited by two unicorns.

The activities of these creatures, of which there will be no physical evidence, will be regularly discussed by organisers, yet the children will be asked to prove that the unicorns do not exist.

Anyone who manages to prove this will win a £10 note - which features an image of Charles Darwin, the father of evolutionary theory - signed by Dawkins, a former professor of the public understanding of science at Oxford University.

"The unicorns are not necessarily a metaphor for God, they are to show kids that you can't prove a negative," said Samantha Stein, who is leading next month's camp at the Mill on the Brue outdoor activity centre close to Bruton, Somerset.

"We are not trying to bash religion, but it encourages people to believe in a lot of things for which there is no evidence."

A spokesman for the Church of England questioned Dawkins' decision to stage a summer camp for atheists.

"We would defend the right for anyone to set up an event like this, as long as the young people are happy to attend," he said.

"But in his imitation of the type of youth events that religious groups have been running for years, Dawkins makes atheism look even more like the thing he is rallying against."

Action

Things have kind of been in a rut lately and I think I need to go ahead and work on getting out of it. For real this time. It's been hard for me to sit here and just ignore what's happening but at the same time things aren't going to get any better if I just don't do anything eithe.

In leaving a message for someone, I was forced to come to terms with some of the things that have happened in the past few months. I went from thinking I could never feel as good as I had a few months ago to really far down in the dumps over some stuff. Needless to say I don't feel the need to retell them here not because this isn't a private place but because I don't think they need to be repeated or discussed anymore. I have talked them out, I have rolled them over and over in my head lately and when I left the message...I came to the conclusion that what I needed to say--what I had to say is what I always had.

And that's really, all I can say about it.