Realize #2

I’m coming to realize I care too much about you to put myself first in these situations.

Xanga

The more I look around Xanga the more I realize its a breeding ground for people who think that their views are not just the norm, but that they are somehow enlightened for having them. I come here to write about all kinds of things. Many of them I don’t think are going to hold the same importance to everyone. But when I read about someone telling the story of their laser hair removal on their vagina or trying to tell us how all religion is ultimately evil and giving others a place to ridicule it, I don’t necessarily think that this would be the place for me.

I think I can’t go back to the account I had there before I got this. Thanks for nothing guys.

Transcending Time

I went into town to get my new inspection sticker put on my car today, and there was a huge hoopla that ended with me getting cursed out by some guy who worked at the place. I didn’t say anything back only because there was a woman and a small kid there and I wasn’t going to embarrass myself while risking fucking the kid up more.

But when the issue had ended and I was leaving an older man pulled me aside. I could tell by his accent that he’s from the area and he grew up here. He tells me how when he moved my car he saw my character sheets for Pathfinder and recognized the D20 influence. Then the man whips his phone out and shows me pictures of these tables he built to play Warhammer and D&D and he shows me these bad ass drawings of his characters and all of the shit that he made for the game.

I honestly was shocked, impressed and thought it was pretty awesome. What’s more is he complimented my character’s forethought and how well she was written. I told him thanks and just said I made her for role playing more than battle, but she could hold her own. We talked for twenty minutes and I left with a smile. I had to get my inspection elsewhere, but I was really happy to have met the dude.

Photoshop

It seems that photoshop has a lot to do with using what you know of the program to get around what you don’t know. Today I used to do this effect:

It’s got that rough, old photo charm but its still a sharp image. I love how that looks and I will be using it a lot from now on. As always, click the image to see it full sized.

Labyrinth

I feel trapped in this. It’s an endless circle of thought between what I want, what I need, what I deserve and the fact hat I can put none of those things first.

How am supposed to navigate this maze when I feel so walled off from one of the main components of the puzzle. I can’t do this any longer. 

A Reason To Like Redheads?

Blondes may have more fun but redheads have more sex, according to new research in Germany.

The study by Hamburg Sex Researcher Professor Dr Werner Habermehl looked at the sex lives of hundreds of German women and compared them with their hair colour.

He said: "The sex lives of women with red hair were clearly more active than those with other hair colour, with more partners and having sex more often than the average. The research shows that the fiery redhead certainly lives up to her reputation."

He added that women who dyed their hair red from another colour were signaling they were looking for a partner, and added: "Even women in a fixed relationship are letting their partners know they are unhappy if they dye their hair red. They are saying that they are looking for something better."

Psychologist Christine Baumanns said however that it may not be the women who were to blame for the better sex lives of redheads.

She said: "Red stands for passion and when a man sees a redhead he will think he is dealing with a woman who won't mess around, and gets straight to the point when it comes to sex."

I will let the article speak for itself now:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-400779/Redheads-sex-blondes-brunettes.html#ixzz0uAjeZrvr

Kelly Thompson Art Expedition

 

Love her – she’s so talented and she draws a lot of something I like – Redheads.

Link: http://www.kellythompson.co.nz/

Thank you

Thank you for showing up just in time. You always seem to be there to pull me out of the fire.

Friend?

It seems I was wrong, you know little to nothing of being friends or how to work with others and reciprocate in a friendship. I think the fact of what you’re doing is lost on you. I think your hypocritical statements don’t even occur to you, they’re so far off your radar they might as well be an actively camouflaged stealth jet.

You wonder why I close people out or why I behave how I do sometimes? Well this is it. I don’t need to justify my reactions to others because this is why I have them.

And I’ve no doubt you’ll come sulking back to act like you never left and nothing changed, and you’ll expect me to do the same. Well its not going to happen.

This Maze

It’s been a hard last month, my father was in the hospital and he’s home now recovering slowly. But it might take up to a year for him to be fully well again. He had to have surgery on his heart and he would have been dead if he’d had a heart attack. I really have to thank God that we were lucky enough to make it through this and have him back with us.

This blog is something I need too, I’ve become dependent on it. When things are going badly, when I am missing someone, when I don’t know what to do and I can’t really vocalize my thoughts they flow out through me in the form of words, not beautiful words and there’s nothing special about them. They’re raw and true and they’re sometimes the things I don’t say because I don’t know I need to.

Lately I have been listening a lot to John Mayer, I’ve always been a fan of his since the song “Waiting on the World to Change” came out, though I never actually had it in my collection until now. The song that has me caught right now is called “Daughters”, just writing about it makes me want to give it a listen.

But the opening lyrics are some of my favorites because they express something I feel and a second thought I sometimes wonder about different girls I come across. The two thoughts don’t necessarily connect, I like the maze idea, that a girl’s not simple; that she’s not a prize to be won but you do need to appreciate her and deserve.

Though in the second part of the opening, you see that not all mazes are good and not all of the problems a person has are your fault:

I know a girl / She puts the color inside of my world / She’s just like a maze / Where all of the walls all continually change /And I’ve done all I can / To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand / I’m starting to see maybe its got nothing to do with me /

Love this song, if you think you didn’t like Mayer, I say give it a listen. It can change your mind.